[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[StevieM]

Hahaha! Sweet!

[6Foot2]

Link:

[Text Tweet]

 

Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

 

They are key workers.

[Norphy]

Am I the only one who thought immediately of this?

 

[mikeprice]

How bad have things become round here nowadays?

 

 

Kids have pinched my new tree from the front garden last night.

 

 

 

 

 

They should bring back the birch.

[Garacesh]

Unfortunately, I've had to resign. I guess I'm not cut out for being a wrestler.

It's such a shame, but I've had to give in my too weak notice.

[6Foot2]

Link: https://twitter.com/The_Pesky_Red/status/1327345861773455367 [Picture Tweet And Reply]

 

 

[mikeprice]

I just been out and bought Mrs mikeprice's son a Christmas present

 

Got him a special fountain pen - really smart and writes underwater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

apparently it will write other words as well!

[6Foot2]

Link:

[Text Tweet Reply]

 

[6Foot2]

Link: https://twitter.com/brynnester/status/1330493423405723657 [Text Tweet]

 

[6Foot2]

Link:

[Picture Tweet]

 

Doctor Who Fans: But we wanted the Revolution of the Daleks trailer!

 

BBC Studios: Here ya go!

 

[Danp]

My flight back from Gibraltar to Glasgow has just been cancelled.

 

Now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[6Foot2]

Link:

[Picture Tweet]

 

Alright stop, refrigerate and listen

 

[mikeprice]

Can someone help me out please? I know Henry VIII had 6 wives. There was Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr, but for the life of me I can’t remember the surname of Jane.....see more

[Mewdewgooboofoo]

I was singing Wonderwall thought discord voice chat the other night and someone asked me to stop,

 

I said Maybe....

 

[mikeprice]

Found this

 

thought its proper home was here

 

 

 

 

I went for a walk down this road where the house numbers were 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1024k.

It was a trip down memory lane.

[mikeprice]

The wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl. I said: "To be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket"

[6Foot2]

The wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl. I said: "To be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket"

 

And the dog's name? Bouncer!

 

[Ditto]

I was going to add something comical to this, but have decided to bail out.

[mikeprice]

Don't blame you - comments are getting a bit Ruff

 

Still I suppose it is fur enough on this thread

 

although sometimes the mods can hound you for the slightest thing

 

[smurfomatic]

Don't let dogs onto cricket pitches, or you may slip on a sticky wicket

[mikeprice]

A tourists stopped me yesterday and asked if there was a B & Q in Liverpool

 

 

Honestly - the stupidity of some people

 

 

let me make it clear L I V E R P O O L

 

no Bs

no Qs

 

I wonder what schools teach people sometimes!!!

[CHiLL]

A tourists stopped me yesterday and asked if there was a B & Q in Liverpool

 

 

Honestly - the stupidity of some people

 

 

let me make it clear L I V E R P O O L

 

no Bs

no Qs

 

I wonder what schools teach people sometimes!!!

But there is crap metal.

[tapb]

[mikeprice]

Apparently, after Brexit, 12" rulers won't be made any longer

[Ditto]

Labour haven't had a 12" ruler since 1983.