korifugi Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Never annoy a Panda with a rifle and a packed lunch - as he eats shoots & leaves
unixman_again Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Grrr why is it so hard to get a qsn stick in the right way! Dammit I mean a usb stick. Courtesy of Sickipedia.org 1
howartp Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Grrr why is it so hard to get a qsn stick in the right way! Dammit I mean a usb stick. That took me a while!
Gatt Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
Gatt Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Shouldn't that be 1023? Nope that would be a MebiByte / GibiByte then Gibibyte - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Gigabyte - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Ephelyon Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I like the cut of your gib, young fellow me lad! =]
fairm010 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 What do you call a Deer with no eyes? - No ideer What do you call a Deer with no eyes and no legs? - Still no ideer What do you call a Deer with no eyes, no legs and no gentleman's sausage? - Still no f***kng ideer! Whats brown and sticky? A stick
Ketlane Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 What has six legs and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? Snooker table
LeightonJames Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What wobbles as it flies? A Jellycopter.
witch Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Why are elephants so wrinkled? Have you ever tried to iron one?
Mako Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 (edited) What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen. What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head? Anita. What do you call an outlaw with no legs? A low down bum. What do you call an outlaw with no legs who fell off his horse? A dirty low down bum. Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "How do you drive this thing?". Two soldiers in a tank. They drown. Why did you start this thread.... send help. Edited April 29, 2015 by Mako
unixman_again Posted April 29, 2015 Author Posted April 29, 2015 What do you call a man hiding under a pile of leaves? Russell. What do you call a man, with no arms and legs, in a swimming pool? Bob. What do you call a man, with a rabbit up his bum? Warren.
HarryMonkey Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 The man who invented predictive text has just died. His funfair will be hello on sundial. ------------------ A Roman walks into a bar holds up two fingers and shouts "Five beers please" ------------------ I took the shell off my racing snail to see if it would make him move faster. If anything it's just made him more sluggish
Mako Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug What do you call a man without a spade in his head? Douglas A man is invited to a fancy dress party. He turns up at the door, completely naked, with a naked woman on his back. A bloke on the door stops him. "Whoa, you can't come in here like that!" "Why not? This is my costume. I'm a turtle", he points to the woman on his back, "This is Michelle". This week's bestsellers on Amazon: 5. "Infidelity" by Lucy Lastic 4. "Nightly Incontinence" by Rusty Bedsprings 3. "Tablets for Beginners" by Anne Droid 2. "Being Prepared" by Justin Case 1. "Baby's Revenge" by Nora Titoff
LeightonJames Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 What do you call a man with a rabbit in his trousers? Warren. What do you call a woman who burns her bills? Bernadette. What did the policeman say to his stomach. You're under a vest. Teacher says to class, "Can anyone give me a Sentence with the letter I in?" Little Jonny stands up and says "I is.." "No Jonny" interrupts the teacher. "It is always I am not I is." "Ok," replies Jonny "I is the 9th letter of the Alphabet"
pcstru Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
LeMarchand Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Which wine do the Beastie Boys prefer with steak? They like a Shiraz Pinotage. They like a Shiraz Pinotage. They like a Shiraz Pinotage. They like a Shiraz Pinotage!
Disease Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Have you read the book "The girl who fell from the window" by Ileene Dover? What do you call a man with 2 Rain Coats on? - Max. What do you call a man with 2 rain coats on in a graveyard? - Max Bygraves. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who swims the English Channel? - Clever Dick
network41 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 How do you make a snooker table laugh Put your hans in its pockets and tickle its balls
Sagima Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder
korifugi Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 How do you make a Swiss Roll? Push him down a hill
tech_guy Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Why did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
sonofsanta Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Two monkeys in a bath. One says, "ooh ooh aah aah AAH!" The other one says, "well put some cold in then." 1
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