Want to hear the most stupid comments that some one has ever said to you!!!!!

[Volkski]

I had another beauty this morning:

 

Me: Shout downstairs "Have you finished straightening your hair?!"

Her: "........... oh yeah"

Me: "It's not a case of 'oh yeah', get your ass back up here and switch them off or you can phone the insurance company and explain why there's black smoke coming from our house!"

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking after a child. She made tea the other night and then left the oven on. I got home 3 hours later to a very very hot kitchen. QUOTE]

who threw a bucket of varnish at a wall with good reason!?QUOTE]

 

Sounds like you need an anger managment course. Theres no good reasons for throwing things about just because some has expressed an opinion.

 

Are you also not able to switch something off yourself, even if its your girlfriend whos left something on. A gentle reminder when you came downstairs along the lines of 'hey honey you've left you hair straightners on again. But I've switched them off for you' whould surely build a better relationship, rather than you just yelling at her again. I'm surprised she's not walking out!

[Rydra]

The wife was making a dent in the ironing pile over the weekend, and managed to burn a hole in my best pair of work trousers (they were the newest, and most comfortable ones!). Apparently the iron caught on it somehow.

 

But when she leaves something on like that, I generally respond sarcastically along the lines of "So you didn't want these curtains then?" "What?" "Well you left the hardryer in the windowsill and then closed the curtains over them. For future reference, if you want to replace the curtains, just do so. No need to set fire to the house to prove you don't want them anymore."

[docboggle]

There was a chap I worked with in a previous job that I had to explain that stars are a VERY long way away, and you won't hit them if you were just to go up in a shuttle. He was convinced they were just hanging above the Earth and you would have to be very careful not to hit one!

[contink]

To balance out the dumbass comments... My own personal, DIY favourite was when I berated my wife for not turning off her hair straightners for the 15th time only to have her walk downstairs from my den/workspace in the attic to casually mention the big pile of hot glue on my keyboard...

 

I'd left the glue gun plugged in, moved it and then gone downstairs...

 

Glass house? what glass?

[gizmo2005]

thanks every one for your posts and your ratings, very much appreciated, lets see how more we can get

[witch]

The wife was making a dent in the ironing pile over the weekend, and managed to burn a hole in my best pair of work trousers (they were the newest, and most comfortable ones!). Apparently the iron caught on it somehow.

 

...nicely leaving yourself wide open to the comment...

"Do your own b****y ironing"

[mrbios]

My better half asked me if denmark was in europe, this was right after being totally confused as to why they were calling the netherlands holland while watching the world cup, geographically she's not that bright at all.

 

She also didn't "get" shrek, yes shrek, shes ok with finding nemo though .......

[Hightower]

Sounds like you need an anger managment course. Theres no good reasons for throwing things about just because some has expressed an opinion.

 

Are you also not able to switch something off yourself, even if its your girlfriend whos left something on. A gentle reminder when you came downstairs along the lines of 'hey honey you've left you hair straightners on again. But I've switched them off for you' whould surely build a better relationship, rather than you just yelling at her again. I'm surprised she's not walking out!

 

ROFL - If I want relationship advice from a stranger, I'll ask for it. Until that day.....

[Disaster]

Little sister one day mentioned "I like the tuna, but not the fish". I dont know what she was thinking!

[jamin100]

A friend as me a few years ago what time the bank would be open on Bank Holiday Monday . . . .

[bloxy]

My sister asked me once why the cameramen in war films don't get shot....

[Disaster]

In Florence one day walking about with a couple of pals when we walk past a shop called Homosapien when one of my friends said:

"You can't call a shop that!"

My other friend and I looked at each other, then the shop and asked why?

"Cos you just cant, you know, wierd and that.."

to which it suddenly dawned on us that he had confused Homosapien with Homosexual!

[Arcath]

My sister asked me once why the cameramen in war films don't get shot....

 

everybody knows that the camera men in war films are ninjas, they cant be shot

[gizmo2005]

this post is slowing down now, is there any more out there!!!!!

[featured_spectre]

thread revival...had one today with my ex

 

Me: Hi where have u been

her: at the key cutting shop, got another one cut for emergencies

Me: thats sensible

her: yeh I know, just in case, you know?!

Me: yeh, where are u keeping it? Need me to look after it just in case you want me to house sit when u r on hols with grace (our daughter)?

her: nah its ok, I am gonna keep it on my keys..

 

 

[gizmo2005]

new one in from last nite, i was sat on the sofa with my mrs and had my foot leaning on my leg, ( the normal seatin position for a bloke) she stuck her foot up against mine and started to measure, all of a sudden she turned and said theres not much differance between my and yours but you have toes,,,,, i couldnt let her finish i was laughing my head off

[dave.81]

Me and my gf were at her parents and her dad was making some food, we hear him shout from the kitchen... "Will my electric can opener open round tins?" He had a half height tin but didn't realise what he was saying.

[gizmo2005]

would like this thread to be reped, by all means rep me if you feel like it lol

[rolfea]

When talking to a group of friends about legal and illegal drugs, one of my friends loudly claimed "alcohol's not a drug, it's a liquid!"

 

ever since "drug" has become a state of matter.

[rolfea]

 

Sounds like you need an anger managment course. Theres no good reasons for throwing things about just because some has expressed an opinion.

 

Are you also not able to switch something off yourself, even if its your girlfriend whos left something on. A gentle reminder when you came downstairs along the lines of 'hey honey you've left you hair straightners on again. But I've switched them off for you' whould surely build a better relationship, rather than you just yelling at her again. I'm surprised she's not walking out!

 

Did you set up an account just for that?

[broc]

My mother in law confidently advised her son to apply WD-40 to the brakes of his motorbike to stop them squeaking, saying 'your dad puts WD-40 on everything....'

[SteveBentley]

Reminds me of a certain colleague suggesting applying UB-40 to a squeaky door hinge!

[creese]

Reminds me of a certain colleague suggesting applying UB-40 to a squeaky door hinge!

 

A drop of red red wine would also do the job. Drink a bottle and you wouldn't notice the squeak

[LeMarchand]

Reminds me of a certain colleague suggesting applying UB-40 to a squeaky door hinge!

 

That would make the noise 10x worse!

[gizmo2005]

my colleague has just told me that her and a friend was going to Liverpool on a train, her friend fell asleep and woke up looked out the window and seen loads of cows outside she turned to my colleague and said a wow cows are we in wales Lmoa