Want to hear the most stupid comments that some one has ever said to you!!!!!

[NikChillin]

I called my friend a mong once. Some randomer butted in and said "use the full name, its mongolian"

 

another time around the dinner table for a chicken dinner there was 4 of us. We could decide who was to have the legs. My brother says why dont we all have one.

 

My son asked for an arm!

 

Handed out slightly damaged laptop to staff member, they asked - won't that let the water in?

I suggested not using it in the bath!

[CHR1S]

Drinking in a beer garden with a few friends early afternoon -

 

Me - Hey look the moons out.

Girl - But its daytime that cant be the moon, your lying to me its the sun!

Me - No that's the sun and that's the moon.

Girl - They cant be out at the same time, it must be something else!

 

And yes, she REALLY is that thick!!

[Chris_in_notts]

A girl said to me once I dont like fish I said but your eating a tuna mayonaise cob to which she replies tuna isnt fish its chicken! followed by a 10 minute arguement on who was correct lol and to this day she still thinks she was right. I dont talk to her anymore

[gizmo2005]

:Dsome of these posts have kept me giggling all day made my day go alot quicker lol keep up the good work

[Andrew_C]

another time around the dinner table for a chicken dinner there was 4 of us. We could decide who was to have the legs. My brother says why dont we all have one.

A while back I was having lunch with a table full of 16 yr old boys. These are amongst the top 10% of students in the country... The very straight oriental kid next to me and I had the whole table convinced that Kentucky Fried Rat were investing heavily in GM foods; trying to create a chicken with 4 legs.

[SteveBentley]

I heard they gave up because they couldn't catch them

[Guest TheLibrarian]

I once confused a Product Manager at a large UK game publisher by asking if she wanted a copy of an Amiga game on disk or cassette...

 

It took me 10 minutes to convince her I was joking.

____

 

One of many badly told jokes by my Mother-in-law :

Q: Where does Sadam keep his music?

A: In CD's...

____

 

There's worse, one about a chicken with the three legs...

____

 

And I did once convince my sister that strong alcohol would make her (badly bitten) nails grow faster - Dad wasn't too happy, he had to carry her upstairs to bed and clean up the mess...

 

 

 

Not sure all of these count but I think they are amusing.

[gizmo2005]

new In, my mrs hit me with a great one this weekend, she was making me a cup of tea and all of a sudden i seen her sniff the tea bag.... i asked her whats she was doing and she said nothing these tea bags say breakfast tea bags and i wanted to see if they smelt different,,,,, my answer was there not going to smell like bacon or eggs you know LOL couldnt beleive it...........

[Hightower]

I had another beauty this morning:

 

Me: Shout downstairs "Have you finished straightening your hair?!"

Her: "........... oh yeah"

Me: "It's not a case of 'oh yeah', get your ass back up here and switch them off or you can phone the insurance company and explain why there's black smoke coming from our house!"

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking after a child. She made tea the other night and then left the oven on. I got home 3 hours later to a very very hot kitchen.

[jahbulon]

I know exactly how you feel.

[witch]

I had another beauty this morning:

 

Me: Shout downstairs "Have you finished straightening your hair?!"

Her: "........... oh yeah"

Me: "It's not a case of 'oh yeah', get your ass back up here and switch them off or you can phone the insurance company and explain why there's black smoke coming from our house!"

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking after a child. She made tea the other night and then left the oven on. I got home 3 hours later to a very very hot kitchen.

 

 

....a child, ay? Wasn't it you who threw a bucket of varnish at a wall???

[Arcath]

one of my friends has a whole facebook group dedicated to her funny comments, the best are:

 

Walking into a dining room "oh wow its got chairs and everything"

 

after a couple of drinks in the pub "Is the road wavy for everyone or just me?"

[JJonas]

My late grandmother used to come up with some wonderful ones we could have filled a book.

 

The one I will always remember is "Why do we always get these sunsets at this time of night?"

[Hightower]

....a child, ay? Wasn't it you who threw a bucket of varnish at a wall???

 

should be...

 

Wasn't it you who threw a bucket of varnish at a wall with good reason!???

[sippo]

We went to a house warming party over the weekend, and the hostess couldn't work the grill/oven. A yell of 'The oven doesn't go over 4 mins'. Luckily a bloke checked, it they had set the oven for 4 hours! This was to cook sausages!

[featured_spectre]

This is a great post Gizmo, just thanked and rep'd you for it.

 

In terms of stupid comments, my sister in law said "people in the oldern days didnt reproduce because the didn't have sex because sex was a 20th century thing." and when I said "no they have always had sex", she said "no, they didn't, they can't have done!"

[synaesthesia]

"I can't access the shared drive on the server!"

 

"You appear to have turned off the wireless via this button here"

 

"Yeah, wanted to save battery because I forgot my power lead today. Isn't wireless just for the internet though?"

 

The joys.

[gizmo2005]

loving some of these posts, honestly they are keep my day from being boring lol

[DSapseid]

One of my friends was convinced north was whatever way she was facing!! i couldnt stop laughing when she was trying to explain it to me!! oh and yes she is blonde!!

 

Another one of my other friends asked to have a look at her car as it was pulling to the right when she was driving. i took it out for a drive and all was fine and told her to stop being stupid. Week later i was in the car with her and she said look its doing it now. I said err no its pulling to the LEFT not the RIGHT!! and the road she was on has a massive camber on it so was only because of that!!

 

Ive also noticed how most of the posts in this tread relate to women!!!

[sippo]

The Wife: 'Why did you put Ant Powder down outside?'

Me: Why do you think?

The wife: Because there's ants there?

Me: 'You've answered your own question then love'.

[Rydra]

My old nan died some 6 or so years ago now, She had alzheimers and dimentia.

 

But in the final years, she came over our house for xmas dinner, walked into the house, stood right next to the xmas tree, and proclaimed "Happy Easter!"

 

To this day with family gatherings, we always fire off the first toast as "Happy Easter!"

[LosOjos]

A mate of mine once asked while drunk, "is it attack versus defence versus Arsenal?"

[SteveBentley]

One of my esteemed colleagues, looking at a sandwich menu offering baguettes and paninis - "Are you going to have a bikini?"

[witch]

Ive also noticed how most of the posts in this tread relate to women!!!

 

That's coz most of you are blokes! seriously, though, blokes tend not to do the 'idle chat' bit, unless drunk, so the likelihood of ridiculous comments is somewhat reduced. Although they are pretty good at technical bloopers, I find..

A male friend of mine told me that he needed a bigger hard drive because that would make his computer go more quickly. I queried whether he meant RAM and explained what that was, but he was adamant!

[LosOjos]

Last week my mom purchased a new wireless router and argued with me for a good 15 minutes that she needed a USB cable to plug it in to her PC, claiming that the manual said so, which I obviously told her was wrong and that all she actually needed was an ethernet cable (I didn't go so far as explaining the technical name for the cable lol) to set it up and that she could use the existing cables from her old wired router to plug in the various PC's around the house to improve their connections. Eventually I gave up arguing and went round to set it up for her. The manual had a picture of a an RJ45 cable, which was included in the box (as stated next to the picture). I set it all up and she still argued that she needed a USB or "it won't be safe". So I unplugged it all, gave her a USB cable and left her for 15 minutes trying to find somewhere to plug it in