[joke] NERD JOKES: How many do you understand?

[mattx]

NERD JOKES

How many do you understand?

 

* F(x)= sin(x) walks into a restaurant and

orders some soup. The waiter replies, "Sorry

but we don't cater for functions here."

 

* I have a complex relationship with my

girlfriend. I'm Real, and she's Imaginary...

 

* What's got feathers and goes "Pieces of

seven, pieces of seven?" A parroty error.

 

* An infinite number of mathematicians go into

a bar. One asks for a pint of beer, the next

asks for a half. The third asks for a quarter

of a pint, and the fourth asks for an eighth of

a pint. The barman pours two pints and says

"Just sort it out among yourselves".

 

* Two kittens are on a roof but both of the are

sliding down. which one falls off first? The

one with the greatest mew.

 

* Why do Java programmers need glasses? Because

they can't C sharp.

 

* Why do programmers get Halloween and

Christmas confused? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

 

* Two atoms are shooting the one day

ATOM 1: Mate, I think I've lost an electron.

ATOM 2: Are you sure?

ATOM 1: Yep, I'm positive.

 

* What is the contour interval around western

Europe? Zero because all the Poles are in

eastern Europe.

 

* Some people think the glass is half empty.

Some people think the glass is half full.

Database admins think the glass is twice the

size it needs to be.

 

* Your mother is so fat she sat on a Binary

Tree and turned it into a linked list in real

time.

 

* Two spiral galaxies walk into a pub. The

landlord says "I can serve *you*..." (points at

the first), "but not *you*..." (points at the

second). "Why not?" - "Because you're barred."

 

Scoring! If you understand X jokes then you =

 

x=0: Our mum

x=1..3: Our dad

x=4..6: Carol Vorderman

x=7..9: John Tickle

x=10..12: Steve Wozniak

[vikpaw]

nearly all so i must be a super nerd, but i'm not admitting which one i didn't get!

[DrPerceptron]

I didn't get the Galaxy one, the cat one and the Halloween/Christmas one...

[powdarrmonkey]

I'm embarassed to admit that I get all but one

 

I've seen some before, of course... Dec25/Oct31 always amuses me

[sparkeh]

Is it embarrassing to admit to all?

[gibbo_ap]

i got most of them...

 

googled and found :

 

DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS COMPUTERS

 

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

and the address of the memory makes your floppy disc abort,

then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

and your data is corrupted 'cause the index does not flash,

then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

 

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the suckers gonna hang.

 

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disc,

and the micro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,

then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM...

Quickly turn off your computer and go and tell your Mom.

 

 

LOVE IT LOL

[tmcd35]

Mattx, you have too much time on your hands!!!

 

I all but halloween/christmas (although I can guess) and two kittens. I liked the database one...Very true!

[OutToLunch]

Trying to work out the parroty error, but I actually laughed out loud at sat on the binary tree

[mattx]

i got most of them...

 

googled and found :

 

DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS COMPUTERS

 

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

and the address of the memory makes your floppy disc abort,

then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

and your data is corrupted 'cause the index does not flash,

then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

 

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the suckers gonna hang.

 

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disc,

and the micro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,

then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM...

Quickly turn off your computer and go and tell your Mom.

 

 

LOVE IT LOL

 

Love it.

[MkII]

mews? barred?

[powdarrmonkey]

Trying to work out the parroty error, but I actually laughed out loud at sat on the binary tree

 

It's a play on 'parity' error, where the eight bit in a serial signal is used for detecting errors (the parity bit). A parity error is when there is a data error, so the parity bit doesn't match up.

[Guest salan]

Great!

All but the last one, so nerd city here I come!

[SYNACK]

I am easily in the top bracket, only missed one - not telling which

[tmcd35]

Great!

All but the last one, so nerd city here I come!

 

[ame=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barred_spiral_galaxy]Barred spiral galaxy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]

[Talorin]

All but one:nerd:

[keithu]

Got them all, and I can tell you that 'contour interval' should be 'contour integral'. I'm a pedantic nerd

[danrhodes]

All but one also, Does this class me as a Nerd of the highest order?

 

 

D

[K.C.Leblanc]

I got a few of them.

 

There are 10 sorts of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

[Oaktech]

8/10.

 

There are 2 types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data and...

[LosOjos]

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand ternary, those who don't and those who mistake it for binary.

[mac_shinobi]

Just these 2 below that I do not get or understand ( The rest I understand / get ) :

 

* What is the contour interval around western

Europe? Zero because all the Poles are in

eastern Europe.

 

* Two kittens are on a roof but both of the are

sliding down. which one falls off first? The

one with the greatest mew.

[JJonas]

For the people stuck on the last one this should help you out: Barred spiral galaxy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[SkywOrca]

The kittens one is referring to the coefficient of friction, often quoted with the greek letter mu (mew). However, the joke should read that the one with the smallest mew falls off first, since that indicates the one that is the most slippery.

 

Loved the Seuss poem, btw!

Edited August 11, 2014 by SkywOrca

[SYNACK]

Just these 2 below that I do not get or understand ( The rest I understand / get ) :

 

* What is the contour interval around western

Europe? Zero because all the Poles are in

eastern Europe.

 

 

Contour line - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Sdrawkcab]

http://i.imgur.com/tpWsd.jpg

 

and one more which is a bit harder:

 

http://i.imgur.com/wgWoNe3.jpg