[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[korifugi]

Apparently - at your time you can challenge Death for more life...

 

I'm going to challenge him(?) to a pillow fight.

 

I'm not afraid of the Reaper Cushions.

[mikeprice]

 

 

probably been done before - but whatever

[hardtailstar]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

 

A mean-o-acid

[mikeprice]

 

......

[6Foot2]

.

[mikeprice]

Many years ago I sent Maggie Thatcher a present as a 'Thank Yo' for all her great work

 

After a long time I decided to give her a lathe

 

 

She sent it back!!!

 

apparently The Lady is not for Turning

[6Foot2]

...apparently The Lady is not for Turning

But she was, it seems: She turned it down!

 

[6Foot2]

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.

 

Good players are hard to find.

[mikeprice]

I was walking past a pet shop. A sign in the shop said, ‘Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale.’

 

I didn’t believe they were from the Netherlands so I went in and asked the assistant “How Dutch is that moggie in the window?”

[korifugi]

I was walking past a pet shop. A sign in the shop said, ‘Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale.’

 

I didn’t believe they were from the Netherlands so I went in and asked the assistant “How Dutch is that moggie in the window?”

 

Just as well they weren't Norwegian - you'd not be able to a-fjord them.

[HarryMonkey]

Just as well they weren't Norwegian - you'd not be able to a-fjord them.

 

You're getting confused with parrots.

[smurfomatic]

You're getting confused with parrots.

 

[hardtailstar]

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

 

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

[dcwhitworth]

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

 

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

 

But the Bahamas isn't in the Carribean . .

[mikeprice]

But the Bahamas isn't in the Carribean . .

 

Good Pedantry!!!

:clap2::clap2:

 

I thought it was - had to check

[paulkerton]

Why is the film "The Iron Lady" rated 12A?

Because it's not suitable for miners.

[Oaktech]

Why is the film "The Iron Lady" rated 12A?

Because it's not suitable for miners.

 

 

The miners did teach us something though... If you picket it won't get better.

[hardtailstar]

But the Bahamas isn't in the Carribean . .

 

Not in the Carribean Sea but in the Carribean community

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Caribbean_islands

[korifugi]

Not in the Carribean Sea but in the Carribean community

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Caribbean_islands

 

So Jamaica mistake or not?

[hardtailstar]

So Jamaica mistake or not?

 

Its on the list.

 

EDIT: Just got the intended dad joke?

Edited January 14, 2022 by hardtailstar

[dcwhitworth]

Good Pedantry!!!

:clap2::clap2:

 

I thought it was - had to check

 

Thanks My personal motto is 'Strictly speaking I'm not a pedant'

[dcwhitworth]

Not in the Carribean Sea but in the Carribean community

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Caribbean_islands

 

Same deal with Finland being on the Scandinavian peninsula but isn't part of Scandinavia.

[mdrabble]

Pinched off Facebook

 

A genie granted me one wish, I said “ I just want to be happy”

 

Now I’m living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine

 

[HarryMonkey]

 

. . . . .

[mikeprice]

Due to an unforseen spacing error, we're now looking forward to a summer holiday on the Norfolk B roads.