[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[Ditto]

Make the...nasty...images...go...away!!

I so agree! I was worried someone might move on from a budgie to a cockatoo, but luckily no one did!

[6Foot2]

.

[6Foot2]

Monosyllabic isn't.

[6Foot2]

Link: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1453100325586485256

 

[mikeprice]

OK - look - I know we all respect the mods

 

They are an essential part of Edugeek and do a great job

 

we love them (no - not in that way!!!)

 

 

 

 

but now they have just gone TOO far!!!

 

 

Then have removed one of my posts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so now my fence has fallen down

[DJHLUnicorn]

Don't all budgies go 'cheep'?

 

Budgies tweet….a lot 🦜[emoji6]

[DJHLUnicorn]

Make the...nasty...images...go...away!!

 

Don’t you like them they’re cute [emoji6]

[mikeprice]

Can I get an award for not posting an image illustrating this?????

 

 

 

no

 

 

 

Oh - OK - another image that seemed to belong here

 

 

[hardtailstar]

.......

[mikeprice]

.......[ATTACH]63546[/ATTACH]

 

Anyone looking at this and wondering which is more human(e)??????

 

 

asking for a friend

 

[FN-GM]

What isn't heavy and Green?

 

.....Light Green

[Garacesh]

Anybody into reading about medieval sieges? No? Just me then?

 

Well, anyway, during one particularly long battle, the attackers ran out of rocks for the trebuchet to hurl. So, scouring around for ammunition, they decided to use the heads of the peasants that had been sent to war.

Off they go, slinging their plentiful new ammo around, until by chance, the son of the enemy king took a hit, knocking him unconscious.

 

And thus was history's first recorded use of a serf face to heir missile.

Edited November 1, 2021 by Garacesh

[mikeprice]

Anybody into reading about medieval sieges? No? Just me then?

 

Well, anyway, during one particularly long battle, the attackers ran out of rocks to hurl. So, scouring around for ammunition, they decided to use the heads of the peasants that had been sent to war.

Off they go, slinging their plentiful new ammo around, until by chance, the son of the enemy king took a hit, knocking his unconscious.

 

And thus was history's first recorded use of a serf face to heir missile.

 

That was bad even for this thread!!

 

 

Well done!

[mikeprice]

Not sure of the best thread for this

 

but I thought here would annoy the fewest mods

 

 

 

 

Right

 

 

Who was thinking "that explains his punctuation"?????????

 

 

I know who you are

 

 

unless you live in a county starting with D in which case I am making no comment

Edited November 1, 2021 by mikeprice

[hardtailstar]

Lost a “Gone in 60 Seconds DVD” in the park. If you find it please pm me, only had it a minute ago!

[hardtailstar]

Why does the piccolo player have to always change the lightbulb in the orchestra rehearsal room?..... Because they can reach the highest.......

[Garacesh]

Bought some new trousers today, but they don't fit.

I'm proper gutted. Massive waist

[Norphy]

Bought some new trousers today, but they don't fit.

I'm proper gutted. Massive waist

 

What, you or the trousers?

[Ditto]

I misread that as 'proper gusset' at first - oops

[6Foot2]

If Benny and Björn from ABBA had been called Steve and Dave, they would have been known as ASDA.

[FN-GM]

 

 

......

[6Foot2]

I’ve just found out “The tale of two cities” was initially serialized in two different local newspapers.

 

It was the Bicester times, it was the Worcester times.

[StevieM]

It was the Bicester times; it was the Worcester times.

 

FTFY.

@mikeprice would be proud.

[FN-GM]

 

 

……

[6Foot2]

.