[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[6Foot2]

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[6Foot2]

Link:

[Text Tweet]

 

Had to quit my job as a glass blower. I inhaled, and now I have a pane in my chest.

[mikeprice]

There may be a better thread for this but anyway

 

 

In the Euro 2021 Football competition The betting odds for England winning are about 6/1

 

 

OK - for those not familiar with betting and odds

 

This means that if you bet £20 on England to win

at odds of 6/1

 

you loose £20

 

[6Foot2]

6:30: The best time on a clock, hands down!

[6Foot2]

 

[Jawloms]

"Mayday, mayday! We are sinking!"

 

"Hello, zis is ze German coastguard. What are you sinking about?"

[mikeprice]

I've heard that proofreading has been abolished. Is nothing scared?

 

 

 

 

 

 

can someone explain this to me please - apparently it is funny

[mikeprice]

The best thing about the internet is that you can claim credit for things you had no part in. It’s one of the reasons I invented it.

[6Foot2]

I knew the fortune-tellers were not happy, as I saw them scrying in their soups!

[6Foot2]

One for the "sheddy/multi-sheddy" Edugeeks:

 

Link:

[Text Tweet]

 

Since I started making yachts in my shed, sails have gone through the roof

 

[mikeprice]

One for the "sheddy/multi-sheddy" Edugeeks:

 

Link:

[Text Tweet]

 

 

 

 

Boom Boom

 

(sails - boom - Google it - maybe I spent too many years sailing!!)

 

(EDIT

Since I no longer use Google I should have suggested DuckDuckGoing it)

[hardtailstar]

Boom Boom

 

(sails - boom - Google it - maybe I spent too many years sailing!!)

 

(EDIT

Since I no longer use Google I should have suggested DuckDuckGoing it)

Yes Basil.

[mikeprice]

Yes Basil.

 

??????

[smurfomatic]

??????

 

Basil..?

 

[hardtailstar]

Basil..?

 

[ATTACH=CONFIG]62246[/ATTACH]

Basil.

[jmak]

??????

Are you too old even for that? [emoji38]

[6Foot2]

Basil? Basil? Basil?

 

 

[mikeprice]

Basil..?

 

[ATTACH=CONFIG]62246[/ATTACH]

 

Oh yeah

 

 

 

 

anyone seen a brain anywhere????

[Ditto]

Oh yeah

 

 

 

 

anyone seen a brain anywhere????

You probably meant 'brian' - oh, maybe not! Anyways, stop it you lot, there is only one basil and it is best fresh with tomato sauce with pasta and meatballs.

[smurfomatic]

I was going to use a Scandinavian flat pack bookcase to replace my bath, but that Ikea didn't hold water

[mdrabble]

Technician just put this on my desk and said “Look a UFO caught on tape” and then walked off chuckling

 

[Norphy]

Give that technician a promotion!

[6Foot2]

Link: Bruce's Well, Troon - Google Maps

 

 

I wasn't aware that he'd been ill.

[mikeprice]

Technician just put this on my desk and said “Look a UFO caught on tape” and then walked off chuckling

 

[ATTACH]62270[/ATTACH]

 

What is his/her username

 

 

I presume they are on here - surely they must be?????

[mdrabble]

What is his/her username

 

 

I presume they are on here - surely they must be?????

 

Sadly not - keep telling to join, in fact might make it part of his annual review/CPD