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Posted

Went to B&Q this afternoon - they are having a celebrity promotion event

 

I saw Arnie stacking shelves!!!!

 

I asked him where the paint brushes are he said

 

 

Aisle B Back

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Posted

Our son, back home from university for his summer break, was looking for breakfast in the kitchen. 5Foot2 said he could find Shreddies at the top of the cupboard.

 

He said that he would prefer Weetos.

 

I said that I had quite big toes.

 

Neither of them laughed.

 

#TrueStory.

 

:(

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Posted
Our son, back home from university for his summer break, was looking for breakfast in the kitchen. 5Foot2 said he could find Shreddies at the top of the cupboard.

 

He said that he would prefer Weetos.

 

I said that I had quite big toes.

 

Neither of them laughed.

 

#TrueStory.

 

:(

My two boys often have Weetos, but that appears to be a complete inability to control direction - I'm hoping they grow out of it sooner rather later :eek:

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Posted
Our son, back home from university for his summer break, was looking for breakfast in the kitchen. 5Foot2 said he could find Shreddies at the top of the cupboard.

 

He said that he would prefer Weetos.

 

I said that I had quite big toes.

 

Neither of them laughed.

 

#TrueStory.

 

:(

 

I just tried again. We had finished eating, and I was taking the plates out to the kitchen.

 

5Foot2 said "The hobs are hot, put them in the sink."

 

I said "Hobs on choice, then?"

 

I was, again, greeted with silence.

 

:(

Posted
I just tried again. We had finished eating, and I was taking the plates out to the kitchen.

 

5Foot2 said "The hobs are hot, put them in the sink."

 

I said "Hobs on choice, then?"

 

I was, again, greeted with silence.

 

:(

I fear your talent is not appreciated. I suggest you head for the Edinburgh festival and perhaps you'll get the appreciation and recognition you deserve.

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Posted
Our son, back home from university for his summer break, was looking for breakfast in the kitchen. 5Foot2 said he could find Shreddies at the top of the cupboard.

 

He said that he would prefer Weetos.

 

I said that I had quite big toes.

 

Neither of them laughed.

 

#TrueStory.

 

:(

 

Seems like maybe some extra parenting is required - he seems to have missed some important points about growing up!!!

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Posted

My neighbour was sorting a load of rubbish to take to the tip.

 

Neighbour: I've still got the old front window to go.

Me: That'll be a pane to get rid of.

  • Thanks 3
Posted
My neighbour was sorting a load of rubbish to take to the tip.

 

Neighbour: I've still got the old front window to go.

Me: That'll be a pane to get rid of.

 

You saw a smashing chance and took it - I hope your neighbour's eyes didn't glaze over.

Posted
You saw a smashing chance and took it

 

A window of opportunity, if you will.

 

I hope your neighbour's eyes didn't glaze over.

No, but he has replaced some wooden panels that separate our gardens, so I think he's taken a fence.

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzZZING!

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Posted

If the window breaks and some broken glass falls on, and breaks, a DVD containing an install file for a Microsoft Browser

 

could it be called Cutting Edge Technology???

 

 

asking for a friend

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Posted

I have just got a job in a factory making plastic Dracula's.

There are only two of us on the production line.

I have to make every second count.

 

 

 

 

 

 

and also

 

Sad news today. After years of medical training and hard work, a mate of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients so can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time and effort. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet !

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Posted
I have just got a job in a factory making plastic Dracula's.

There are only two of us on the production line.

I have to make every second count.

 

Congratulations! I just got a new job in a factory making chess pieces.

I'm on knights.

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Posted
Congratulations! I just got a new job in a factory making chess pieces.

I'm on knights.

 

I worked there to, I got the boot for looking at pawn all day!

  • Thanks 2
Posted
I worked there to, I got the boot for looking at pawn all day!

 

I worked overtime there and got a new cheque, mate!

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