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Posted

I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son."

 

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

 

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

  • 1 month later...
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
After that have you tried dating a tree?

 

Dendrochronology.

 

:getmecoat:

 

Well we gave it our best shot, but we just didn't work out.. She wasn't very adventurous. Every time I tried to suggest we do something, I was shut down. I guess she was a bit too wooden.

Posted
Well we gave it our best shot, but we just didn't work out.. She wasn't very adventurous. Every time I tried to suggest we do something, I was shut down. I guess she was a bit too wooden.

 

Are yew sure She was the problem?

Posted (edited)

I'm positive. I'm not perfect, I admit, but I willownly admit to my own faults.

 

I should get back into dating.. I suppose I'll spruce up my online profiles..

 

Edit: Er.. Only just realised this isn't The Punny Thread.. Ooops! :whistle:

Edited by Garacesh
Posted
Well we gave it our best shot, but we just didn't work out.. She wasn't very adventurous. Every time I tried to suggest we do something, I was shut down. I guess she was a bit too wooden.

Perhaps you should have spoken more about your ancestree, or maybe won them over with gallantree? Or perhaps dating online? You know: Where you LOG in...

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I was in the queue with Mrs P at the supermarket today. I picked up one of these from the conveyor:

 

Till Divider.jpg

 

I said:

 

How much are these? You never see a price or a barcode...

 

:getmecoat:

Posted

On a totally different topic - why do women (especially wives/long term partners) roll their eyes so often?? Is it a genetic thing - do same sex couples see the same thing??

 

Just one of the mysteries of the universe

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted
Just updated my satnav but I'm not sure it is working properly because I have just been going through the safari park and it said 'Bear left' - but it was clearly an elephant
  • Thanks 3
Posted
Just updated my satnav but I'm not sure it is working properly because I have just been going through the safari park and it said 'Bear left' - but it was clearly an elephant

Yorkshire Constabulary have had all of their sat navs stolen. A spokesman said that they are searching for Leeds.

  • Thanks 2
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Was going to plug my keyboard into the headphone socket of my laptop but was worried I might end up stereotyping.

 

- Mark Haggan

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Recently I went to a fancy dress party with the theme 'Ocean Mammals'

 

I was dressed as a whale, and I started a conversation with someone dressed as a dolphin.

 

We just clicked.

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