Need a hug - feeling a bit sorry for myself

[MattDLEA]

Sorry for posting this but think I need to.

 

Got home from work yesterday dinner to find my dog laid under his chair, when I moved the chair he didnt attempt to get up or move. I made him as comfortable as I could while my wife got home from work. We got the vet out and had to have him pet to sleep.

i dont really know what to do now he was my best mate for the past 10 years, he was there for me when my dad died and when my grandad died. He never judges me or anything just love. He was the one that picked us when we were at the re homing shelter. I have another dog that is very subdued at the moment i think she is trying to take it all in.

I dunno what to do just feel very numb and empty.

 

Sorry

[north-ict]

Never say sorry for posting something like that, my condolences on your loss if you need to talk we are all here for you. -Hugs-

[nikaso]

I was in bits when my dog died a few years back, very similar situation to you, he was there when my dad died and we got him from a rescue centre. It gets easier, just be happy for the times you got to spend with him. Manly hug.

[teejay]

Sorry to here this, it really is hard when they pass on as they become such a part of your life.

[MattDLEA]

Im such a mess, just sat in the server room out the way crying. I managed to keep it together though my dad and grandads deaths.

I know he was on his was out he was 14-16 years old so a good age and his back was going, and I know it was the right and really only decision to make but still. Glad i was with him at the end.

Just felt weird getting up in the night to let Pepper our other dog out and not to find him downstairs.

[Smee]

Sending you huge hugs, I so understand how you feel. Just remember that without the chance and love you gave your dog he'd have been in rescue for longer. Take extra care of your other dog as she will be morning his loss too. the fact that you kept your emotions in check when you lost your dad and gdad doesn't mean you were over their loss, but loosing your dog has most likely bought all the grief out in one go. . You can't continue to hold it all it and at some point everyone has to grieve.

take care and give you other dog extra hugs xxx

[bushby]

Bro hug,

 

its true dogs are a mans best friend, as they will never judge you, they know when your upset or ill.

it will be hard for a while but you will rember all his qurewks that made him "him"

 

i can still remeber the day my dog went. she was a puppy when i was born and were ever i was she was with me (mum and dad had to get a twin pram because of this). but i will alwasy remeber her. but got 4 other dogs now each with their own personality.

 

never be sorry for showing emotions we only be human

[ButterflyMoon]

Am so sorry for your loss. Our pets are our family and often folk just do not get the grief we feel when losing our animal. Like @Smee has said it has probably enabled ALL your grief to come out which is better for you in the long though you may not be feeling that right now. Allow yourself to feel this hurt then celebrate his life. Take your other dog out and cuddle him and let yourself heal. Huge hugs have been where you are and it does get better eventually Also be comforted that he went over the bridge in his own home rather than at the vets in a strange scary place x Edited January 14, 2014 by ButterflyMoon

[rickjames]

Here's a comic a friend of a friend posted. It might help, it might not. WHIG LIFE IT’S FINISHED. CLICK READ MORE.

[elsiegee40]

Big hugs from me too. Losing a dog is every but as bad as losing a member of your human family

 

Just like with the humans, it will take some time to recover... and you have to remember the good times

 

I'll send a crate of eduhobnobs up to you... they're electronic and non fattening, so great comfort food.

[pickman]

Big hugs here also.

 

You were there for him when he needed you as he was there for you when you needed him.

 

I'm not particularly religious but this poem says it all for me

 

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

 

Author unknown... "

 

Will give my guys especially big hugs tonight.

[Little-Miss]

Goodness I cried for days when I had to have my hedgehog PTS!

 

Hope you're ok...

[Miscbrah]

Sad news brah. We used to raise guide dog puppies, which we got for a year then never saw again. Having them leave was bad enough! I can only imagine what it must be like to lose your own.

[Edu-IT]

Sorry to hear this. A loss of any kind is a horrible thing to go through. You know it was the right thing to do in the circumstances so take comfort from that. We had to make a similar decision a few years ago after trying everything possible. Writing this brings back the memories of sitting in a small room saying goodbye. Gosh, it's horrible.

[yugo]

When my dog died during the summer I put a nice photo of him above the spot he used to lay. Its nice to look down and see him still there in a way.

[witch]

Now I am crying too because of @pickman 's poem.

I know exactly how you feel. A family dog is so much more than just an animal. Mine is now 14 and getting more needy by the day. We can't really go away on holiday now as he gets quite beside himself and won't leave the front door if neither of us are at home. I wonder how much longer he will last but I try and enjoy every day.

 

Just don't feel that you should "pull yourself together". Be sad, cry, and think of the good times. Cuddle your wife and talk about him.

I think there is some grief for your dad and grandad in there too. Let it out.

eduhobnobs, edujd and anything else that might help.

[abillybob]

Sorry to hear that matey! It's a vile time when something like that happens I know how you feel. When I was born my mum decided to get a puppy, a collie cross this puppy was found routing through bins and abandoned. Never hurt a sole my dad found him on his police rounds and asked if he could bring him home after 4 weeks of this dog being taken care of by prisoners. We had him in the end I was 1 when he turned up we called him Sam. He never would hurt anyone such a loyal and best friend of mine.

 

When I turned 16 he had to be put down (there was a lot wrong with him) he must have been around 18. My dad told me in the car on my way home after school! I didn't cry, well maybe a little I just wen quiet and never stopped thinking of him.

We now have a new dog "GEORGE" cockerspaniel he has the same temperament as Sam does but no one can replace him he was my best friend for over half my life! It's hard I know *gives man hug*

[StevieM]

StevieM hug heading your way (and I'm good at hugs!).

 

You have my most sincere sympathy. I can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling. The relationship between a man and his dog is something that cannot be understood by anyone who has never experienced it. I only know how much my Jess means to me, and even the thought of losing her is unbearable.

 

You will never be able to replace him but, as others have said, make sure you spend some quality time with your other dog and remember the good times.

[MattDLEA]

Its really difficult and I think I'm been unfair as Pepper is the same breed but totally different to him

[HarryMonkey]

Huge hugs heading your way. I had to let one of mine go back in November and it was heartbreaking to stand there and hold him as he went. My ex and I cried for ages afterwards. His brother Jack, (same litter) still looks for him (as do I). I know what you are going through and all I will say is stay in the server room in tears as long as you can, let it all come out and then remember him with the love and affection that he had for you. Spare a thought for your other one as well as she is looking for her pal and probably can't under stand why he's not there. Try to smile when you think of him. He would never have wanted to make you sad.

[MattDLEA]

Thank you all for the kind replies, feeling a bit better today for now. I have set up a webcam on Pepper so i can watch her while i am at work. dont know if this is a good or bad thing. She seams restless, i dont know if this is how she is normally but I would have thought if I'd have done this a few weeks ago she would have been more calm. She just seams to be laying in one position for 10 mins then getting up and moving to another chair or the floor then laying again.

Think now i am more upset thinking about her missing him.

I dont know what to do really as to be honest she didnt get much attention as she arrived just a few months before our baby. So she got pushed out a little bit, she was always getting wrong to as shes younger and would try to be first ( i think she was trying to protect my old dog) but she would push into him, or stand on him while he was laid down ( no spacial awareness) . I want to fuss her and spoil her. And take her with me in the car when we go places. But I dont want to cause separation anxiety.

[witch]

I think the answer lies in the middle. Give her a bit more attention than you did before - but don't go overboard. She will be missing him but don't give her human feelings - she will get over it with a bit more love and attention.

[AMLinington]

I still cry over my beloved Cat Truffle who died a couple of years ago. There is no shame in loving a pet this much. They are part of our families and they are easy to become emotionally invested in. When Enzo was hit by a car I was in such a mess I had to use annual leave allowance as I couldn't face work when I knew he was sick and hurting.

 

When Truffie died my parents were out of the house and came home to find that she had clearly had a seizure of some kind and was lying in the middle of the floor. Her little body was cold and a bit stiff so they think she had been gone a while and they found our other cat hiding under a bed upstairs - she seemed quite traumatised and wouldn't walk through the lounge where Truffie had been.

 

My dad removed Truffies bed too soon - he couldn't look at it but he didn't give our other cat, Tigga, time to come to terms with Truffie being 'missing' - she howled for weeks and searched restlessly all the time. I know it is hard but don't pack away his bed or toys - the gradual fade out of his smell will help your other dog realise that he is gone. Don't change her routine if you can help it as this will stress her. Give her plenty of attention and time. Don't be tempted to get another dog to keep her company - at least not straightaway.

 

I miss my beautiful angel:

[MattDLEA]

If we didnt have our other dog I would have been straight out and got another yesterday morning. However at the moment the plan is to wait until our little one is walking and a bit more stable on her feet so probably next year; It will also give us time to give pepper more attention. Saying that though we are off on a greyhound walk week on Sunday so who knows.

Talking about it on here is helping.

Pepper was outside the door looking in at him when the vet was there so hopefully that gave her a bit more of understanding.

[witch]

I think you might need to give yourselves time to grieve - don't get another dog quite yet.Your old dog hasn't really left yet. He needs to be sent on his way with thoughts and tears before you can commit to another one. Also, it might not be very fair on Pepper - she might be fine with it but she might wonder even more where he is and who this interloper is. Give her time to "forget" him first Edited January 15, 2014 by witch