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Posted

Thou shalt save thy work regularly.

 

Thou shalt not install more software than thou has licenses for, even if it is an emergency.

Posted
Suppliers ten commandments:

 

Thou shall not use camera thieving DHL as a courier and call it good

 

Thou shall not keep calling me to ask "if there is anything we can help you with" when I've asked you not to call again.

Posted

Thou shalt not plan a lesson around a website without checking it works in school first.

 

If thou dost plan a lesson around a website without checking it works thou must not wail on the IT staff when it fails.

 

The filtering system works in mysterious ways, Do not rely on it to give you access to a web site that worked last week, last night, this morning or at the start of thy lesson.

Posted

Thy shalt not request a problem to be fixed then go into great detail about how your problem is the greatest of all evils to man kind!

 

Thy shalt not wander into the holy server room un announced and proclaim that "The network is down" when really you have just forgot to turn your wireless on.

 

Thy shalt also not wander into the holy server room un announced and proclaim that "The internet is down" as thy shall get the answer, "What the whole internet?!??! Here comes the appocolypse then!"

 

If I think of any other things that bug me ill put em up shortly!

 

D

Posted
Thou shalt not plan a lesson around a website without checking it works in school first.

 

If thou dost plan a lesson around a website without checking it works thou must not wail on the IT staff when it fails.

 

The filtering system works in mysterious ways, Do not rely on it to give you access to a web site that worked last week, last night, this morning or at the start of thy lesson.

 

Verily, this morning one sinner hast already broken these three commandments :mad:.

Posted
Thou shall praise and worsip the ground walked upon by IT Technicians.

 

(and pay them accordingly) :D

 

LOL.........I like this........and totally agree!!

:D

  • Thanks 1
Posted
Thou shalt stoppeth not the IT Technicians in the Corridors to consult with them, nor in the Staff Room, nor in the Dining Hall, nor in the Toilets, for they know not which Computer Room is free next period, nor do they know what you have just emailed them (even though they seeth all and knoweth all, sometimes they just forgetteth as their memory is likened unto a sieve).
  • Thanks 4
Posted
10 Commandments for Network Admins:

 

1. Thou shalt understand the language of binary.

10. Do what thou wilt shalt be the whole of the law.

 

Oh lord forgive me for I am sad for getting this straight away lol

Posted

We are the your Lord Gods, who brought you out of the land of Abacus, out of the house of filing cabnets;

 

Do not have any other gods before us

 

You shall make yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is animal (pengiuns), vegitable (apples, apricots) or minerial (er, windows)

 

You shall bow down to them or worship them; for we your Lord Gods are vengeful Gods, punishing users with BSODs and viri

 

but showing steadfast uptime to the users who love us and keep our commandments

 

You shall not make wrongful use of the username, for the Lords will not acquit anyone who misuses his username

 

Remember the last day of term and keep it holy (buy your techies biscuits!)

 

For the school holidays we shall labour and do all our work

 

But the last day of term is holy to your Lord Gods; you shall not pray upon them to work - you, your staff or your pupils, your male or female admins, or the visitors upon your premises

 

For six weeks the Lords made the network and the file system, the backups and all that is in them, but they rested on the last day of term; therefore the Lords blessed the holy days and expected biscuits upon it.

 

Honor your Technicians and Network Manager, so that your logons may be long in the network that your Lord Gods are giving you.

 

You shall not murder (even a ZX80 can be given productive use)

 

You shall commit adultery (for all operating systems be the Mac, Linux or Windows have their use)

 

You shall not steal (for bandwidth and disk space is for everybodys use - not just your own)

 

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor (nor still his logon such the you may gain or cause disruption to the network)

 

You shall not covet your neighbor's computer, you shall not covet your neighbor's home space, or mouse, or keyboard, or anything that your neighbor should be working with.

Posted
The shalt not phoneth the IT Technician at home to ask how to set up your wireless network, especially so if it is late at night.
Posted
The shalt not phoneth the IT Technician at home to ask how to set up your wireless network, especially so if it is late at night.

 

Should not call anyone at home and especially not an IT Technician and especially more so if its a technical subject such as the aformentioned item ( setting up wireless or the likes )

Posted (edited)
Should not call anyone at home and especially not an IT Technician and especially more so if its a technical subject such as the aformentioned item ( setting up wireless or the likes )unless you are willing to pay the proper tribute of gold and the product of the grape from fermenting.

 

Fixed.

Edited by jamesb
  • Thanks 1
Posted

1. thou shall not spill milk in your laptop and leave it to go furry then expect me to sondem it as it still works

 

2. thou shall remember your password and not expect me to

 

3. thou shall not change your laptops password without changing your domain password to match

 

4. thou shall not bug tecd 10 seconds before they leave for the day

 

5. thou shall report the problem not what you think will solve it

 

6. thou shall tell me what you did not what you think i need to hear

 

7. thou shall change the backup tape and if you dont dont moan you deleted/cottupted a file

 

8. thou shall check batteries in appropriate devices before calling

 

9. thou shalt listen to what you are told so i dont hav to tell you every week

 

10. thou shall provide cake/crisps/choccy hob nobs

Posted

Thou shall worship all equipment blessed by the holy screwdriver of which may only be handled by your Lord Technician.

 

Hallowed are the Technicians.

 

 

 

Do we have enough to write our own bible yet? :D

Posted

Thou shalt verily smile at all times, nodding sagely in agreement.

 

Thou shalt not ever suck in air through the teeth and state - that'll cost you

Posted

one former IT Teacher here put up the 10 IT lesson commandments in his room and was told to take it down cos it might offend someone. Some people.

 

 

thou shalt pay the IT Technician handsomely for fixing home wireless. (bindun? shirley!)

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