[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[6Foot2]

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

[smurfomatic]

 

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

[mikeprice]

 

 

yup - I hate bad spells

[Techykev]

I do quite like going away on holiday, except for the 50% of the time when there is nothing to do.

I suppose its my own fault for booking half-bored.

[mikeprice]

It's a little known fact that there is a Patron Saint of checking bread rolls before removing them from the oven.

 

Saint John The Bap Test

[Garacesh]

Bap

 

And it was on this day that Edugeek user @mikeprice set out to make a simple pun. What resulted was a war igniting the whole of the UK. Friends turned to enemies, alliances were formed, we were reduced to godless savages. And by the end, what was left? Certainly there was no bread any more. There was no reason to fight. Then somebody fired up an oven for the first time in centuries, and it all begun again...

 

[mikeprice]

And it was on this day that Edugeek user @mikeprice set out to make a simple pun. What resulted was a war igniting the whole of the UK. Friends turned to enemies, alliances were formed, we were reduced to godless savages. And by the end, what was left? Certainly there was no bread any more. There was no reason to fight. Then somebody fired up an oven for the first time in centuries, and it all begun again...

 

 

That comment is just Barm-y

[korifugi]

That comment is just Barm-y

 

Way to take a joke and just roll with it...

[GrumbleDook]

Way to take a joke and just roll with it...

 

Hmmmm .... Should we dough? It gives me pains to say that these puns are half-baked and need to be stopped before someone fritters away any opportunity putok this discussion to bed.

[korifugi]

Hmmmm .... Should we dough? It gives me pains to say that these puns are half-baked and need to be stopped before someone fritters away any opportunity putok this discussion to bed.

 

I suspect that chance has scone - as there certainly enough puns out there... It's more on what the mods'll do when they sesame this - for some, the consequences can be quite expensive - for some it can be chipá.

 

Sorry to put a damper on your comment, but we can probably take this quite farl before we're left with muffin.

[mikeprice]

I reckon if we keep waffleing on, we will be OK if we are careful and use our loaf

 

There is no need to Lye to anyone as long as we do not milk it too much

 

 

 

(I'll be back later when I work out how to shoehorn pumpernickel into something!)

[6Foot2]

... I'll be back later when I work out how to shoehorn punpernickel into something!

FTFY.

 

[6Foot2]

 

🎅🏻

[6Foot2]

What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a grumpy cow?

 

Two animals in a baaaaad mooooood.

[3s-gtech]

I would wear an outfit like the Chippendales, but I just couldn’t pull it off.

[GrumbleDook]

I've been doing a lot of the "what do you call?" name jokes recently ....

 

What do you call a man with seagulls nesting on his head? Cliff ... those sort.

 

So yesterday it was ...

 

What do you call a woman with hair on her upper lip?

and instead of waiting for the correct response from me (which was Tash) the youngest goes ...

"Granny"

 

*sigh* I tried not to laugh too much.

[mikeprice]

I've been doing a lot of the "what do you call?" name jokes recently ....

 

What do you call a man with seagulls nesting on his head? Cliff ... those sort.

 

So yesterday it was ...

 

What do you call a woman with hair on her upper lip?

and instead of waiting for the correct response from me (which was Tash) the youngest goes ...

"Granny"

 

*sigh* I tried not to laugh too much.

 

I am NOT letting that comment anywhere near the grandkids!!!!!

[HarryMonkey]

Now that the big day is fast approaching, I went carol singing - with Bing Crosby, Don Henley, Mary Hopkin and Lee Marvin.

 

It was Bing, Don, Mary, Lee and I…

 

 

(Merry Christmas everyone)

[Zourous]

A couple of literal funnies. Can anyone tell I’m job hunting?

 

 

[smurfomatic]

Australian political humour from simongerman600 on Twitter

 

[6Foot2]

It takes a thousand nano-biologists to make one microbiologist.

[mikeprice]

 

Had to look at this one twice TBH

[6Foot2]

Link:

[Picture Post]

 

[6Foot2]

 

[6Foot2]

Where do bad rainbows go?

 

Prism! It’s a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.

 

Why? Because they were an accessory after the refract.