[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[mikeprice]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]71709[/ATTACH]

. . .

 

That sounds just like Mrs mikeprice

 

I have no idea why

[6Foot2]

6Foot4 in a Father's Day card today:

 

How much does a chimney cost?

 

Nothing, it's on the house!

[simonw]

My youngest son wrote the following, quite deliberately, in my FD card.

 

"Thank you for being my designated chauffeur and all-round great farter father"

 

All credit to him, factually correct in every way.

Edited June 17, 2024 by simonw

[mikeprice]

The organisation listening out for messages from Aliens have found and translated they first confirmed message transmitted by Aliens

 

It was a review of our Solar System on their equivalent of Trip Advisor

 

They didn;t think much of it

 

One Star

[mikeprice]

Been trying to send Bugs Bunny a file over the internet, but he won't accept a transfer via Google Drives or Microsoft OneDrive.

 

He'll only accept a Whatsapp Doc.

[6Foot2]

Link: https://x.com/paulybengali/status/1804282778617614664

 

[mikeprice]

I read today England players out in Germany won’t be allowed to vote on 4th July.

 

A spokesperson for the FA said “it’s pointless, they wouldn’t be able to find the box let alone put a cross in it”

[HarryMonkey]

. . .

[HarryMonkey]

I enjoy tennis but I've never been really clear why they need a lifeguard.

[smurfomatic]

From @world_of_moose on Twitter

 

[6Foot2]

 

#70sNostalgia

[HarryMonkey]

 

. .. .

[mikeprice]

My Dad was the sort of person to never find faults

 

 

Good Man - terrible geologist

[old_n07]

 

[mikeprice]

 

 

thought about putting this on the Cool Things thread

 

but thought the view of the telly from the pond is a bit dodgy so better not

[Jawloms]

From Chris Evans breakfast show this morning;

 

A friend of mine's wedding is on the same time as the final on Sunday and he was hoping to be there. Obviously now he can't be so if anyone else is interested in going in his place, it's St Mary's Church and her name is Sarah.

[smurfomatic]

Played a U2-themed board game called "Bonopoly."

 

It's like regular Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

[6Foot2]

Played a U2-themed board game called "Bonopoly."

 

It's like regular Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

 

I saw one that was David Bowie song/album themed.

 

Players were only allowed to use four squares to move around the board.

 

It was called "Station to Station."

[6Foot2]

Link:

[Picture Post]

 

[Ditto]

I got hit by a power tool. Everything was fine... then Bosch!

[smurfomatic]

Stephen King on Twitter...

[SimplyJade]

 

Found in the wild on Reddit

[jthompson]

Whilst watching the Paris 2024 Olympic Opening Ceremony, and seeing the various national teams river-cruising up the Seine, I was struck by one thing.

 

 

Some of the boats were huuuge, but...

 

 

...Ghana need a bigger boat.

[6Foot2]

Link:

 

[network41]

Is he the Bow Selector , oops should have read the article before posting Edited July 31, 2024 by network41