[joke] The Dad Jokes Thread

[HarryMonkey]

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[6Foot2]

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[6Foot2]

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[6Foot2]

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[6Foot2]

This year's Fibonacci convention is going to be really special!

 

Apparently, it's as big as the last two put together.

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What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

 

A Yama-hahahaha

[E_G_R2]

Why are their more female archaeologists than men?

 

Because women are better at digging up the past!

[6Foot2]

What does a subatomic duck say? "Quark!"

 

Strange, though; it does so with charm.

[dcwhitworth]

What does a subatomic duck say? "Quark!"

 

Strange, though; it does so with charm.

 

That joke was a bit up and down

[6Foot2]

That joke was a bit up and down

 

However you spin it, it was top!

[HarryMonkey]

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[6Foot2]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]72692[/ATTACH]

 

The "jockey" here shares the forename of 5Foot2. I have forwarded the image.

 

Hopefully, you will remember me fondly...

 

[6Foot2]

The "jockey" here shares the forename of 5Foot2. I have forwarded the image.

 

Hopefully, you will remember me fondly...

 

 

I'm safe! This was her reply:

 

Sounds about right 🤪🍷🍷

 

 

[6Foot2]

As a kid I was made to walk the plank.

 

We couldn’t afford a dog.

 

- Tony Blackburn, Radio 2 this evening.

[6Foot2]

I remember my nights out in the '90s: I used to go home by the supermarket. It was the Safeway.

[HarryMonkey]

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[6Foot2]

Link:

 

[Jawloms]

I'm giving up drinking until Christmas.

 

 

 

Sorry, punctuation!

 

I'm giving up. Drinking until Christmas.

[james874]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.

[6Foot2]

Link:

 

[southhamster]

Both Cream and The Jam were going to reunite for gigs in Devon and Cornwall this year, but the venues couldn't agree about who should go on first.

[6Foot2]

Link:

 

[6Foot2]

Link:

 

[6Foot2]

Link:

 

 

[6Foot2]

Link:

 

[Ditto]

Mrs Ditto just toasted a tea cake. As the lovely waft of toasted tea cakes filled the room, I brought the kids home from school.

 

Younger son decides to pop a tea cake in the toaster too, and then boom! Al electrics go. RCD and RCBO trip.

 

I reset the toaster and we re-tried. RCD only tripped this time. So, I decided to unplug and check the toaster out. On investigation I could see debris in the bottom of the toaster. I highlighted the issue to the younger son - "Ah, that burnt raisin is the problem". So of course, I said "No, it's a dodgy currant". Smirking from the older son who says "Actually that's quite good!". After that perfect pause from the younger son, I then get the massive roll-eyes and look of despair at me.

 

I'm sure many of you understand the pure joy I get from such moments