tech_guy

Go and get garden snails and paint the shells in the livery of the F1 teams?

That's not really a nasty nasty in the virus / malware stakes is it?

Here's my answers: 1. What disaster recovery techniques are used? A. Praying and swearing with a lot of crying. 2. How often is system security reviewed? How often are audits carried out? A. All the ********* time. 3. Is there an email or Internet usage policy? What are the limits for staff and students? A. Yes, but nobody reads them. Limits - are you serious? We have staff setting fire to themselves in the playground if you stick a quota on anything! 4. How do you monitor for software installation? A. We don't allow software installation. Students use chalk and a piece of slate. 5. Does the centre have a policy for use of CCTV? A. Yes, but everyone ignores it. We have outbreaks of mooning. 6. What are the most common risks you face in managing the network? A. Caffeine overdosing. 7. What proportion of your budget do you spend on equipment and software? A. Not enough. It's never enough. Even if they gave me £100k a year it would never be enough. Rant over. 8. What do you look for when recruiting and hiring technical staff? A. Arms. And legs. And a head. They help. 9. How are network and system security delegated? A. If you're the IT Bod it's your job. Same rule applies to anything with a plug on the end. 10. What training do you offer your staff? A. How to deliver the best ever Chinese Burn.

Yes, we're too quick to stuff Ritalin down kids throats in this country as a solution.

This is what myself and the wife have been saying all along. And my father in law who's a retired child psychiatrist says much the same. He retired early because of all the garbage so called experts were peddling with various behavioural disorders in the UK.

Have you gone and got the ransom ware virus and all your files are foobarred encrypted?

Ring them and ask to speak to the NM for a chat about the role to see what it encompasses?

We use app store vouchers and turn the restrictions on so no purchases. Only we know the code. The teachers moan but tough.

They probably haven't switched it on yet and connected it to their wifi. Patience. The muppets will eventually reveal themselves.

I'd love to hack the description on the website. Something along the lines of 'ideal as a film set for the filming of adult movies....'

Thanks for your input. The ability to control the depth is really important so I'll carry on looking. Mad as it's a one-off job and afterwards I'll probably never need to use an angle grinder again unless I develop a side-line in robbing cash-machines or something.

Holy ****. I'm almost speechless. Let me guess the gender / ethnicity of the occupant(s).... ...and no, I'm not being non-pc here.

I need to cut a slot some 16" long and 0.5" deep in a large paving slab - will this be suitable for the job: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Draper-68419-600-Watt-Angle-Grinder/dp/B0001KA0E0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1384724265&sr=8-1&keywords=angle+grinder#productDetails And am I correct in assuming that the adjustable guard allows me to set the depth of the actual grind? Never used one before so looking forward to lots of dust, noise and sparks!

We have one that we use as a stocktake netbook - it has the barcode reader attached to it so we can wander around with it doing the annual stock check. Our colleague who does the PAT testing has another one on a trolley with his PAT gear attached.

Hey, where's the freakin' greenery?

This is interesting because we've had a few problems with our iPADs and we've tracked it down to a fault with the cables - it looks like a couple have simply given up the ghost - swapping the cable out enables them to be recharged again. They were original Apple cables as well - the ones supplied with the devices.

Are we supposed to be delivering programming in Python starting from September 2014 for GCSE or did I imagine it?

PMSL Is that a real listing lol.

Probably me moaning about my job?

Eeek! Have an eduhobnob.

16 for me. I'm a lot better stress-wise than I was a year ago.

Yes, we've had this and it's the sound / volume issue. PITA.

The hotel I stayed at in Delhi a couple of years back had PCs running '95 - and were still using the cougar wallpaper!

Why not give a prize to the bod who posted the millionth post?!

Are you serious? If they did that then they'd lose all those precious calories from the KFC they had the night before?!