Inbir316 Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 i once stole a calendar.....i got 12 months for it 1
DanW Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 http://homepage.ntlworld.com/rosa.l/tumbleweed_004.jpg 2
Ryan Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 A man walks into a bar ........ you'd think he'd have seen it.
laserblazer Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot
witch Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 " oh no", said an atom, "I've lost an electron!" his friend said.... "are you positive?"
webman Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Man goes to doctors complaining of strawberries growing out of his head. The doctor says, "I've got some cream for those!"
SeanVin Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Cow 1: I've just been artificially inseminated! Cow 2: Are you sure? Cow 1: Yep, Straight up, no bull.
joe90bass Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 One day, long, long ago....... there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or complain. But this was a long time ago....... and it was just that one day. The End
laserblazer Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Uses strong language but pretty funny. YouTube - Ronaldo Leaves Utd
somabc Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Why did the Chicken cross the Möbius Strip? to get to the other .. er ...
antoeknee Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Guy goes to doctors due to a hearing problem Doc looks in his ears and finds jelly and blamonge in one ear and sponge and custard in the other. And says 'I think you're a triffle deaf' Sorry Oh, and another from when my son was at primary school i.e. a long time ago What shakes at the bottom of the sea? Its a nervous wreck of course Might just be bad enough for an xmas cracker joke
Inbir316 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 wat do you call a one eyed dinosaur? ithinkhesaurus what do you call a 3 eyed dinosaur? doyouthinkhesaurus
Hightower Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 what do you call a 3 eyed dinosaur? doyouthinkhesaurus Shouldn't that one be the 1 eyes dinosaur?
ICT_GUY Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now." When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. Rodney Dangerfield RIP.
SeanVin Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. "Suicide? Thats the last thing I'd do!" (Homer Simpson)
mattx Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Two Lions walking down Oxford Street, Xmas Eve on a Saturday afternoon. One says to the other: 'Quiet down here isn't it ?'
mattx Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Boy walks into a bakers: Boy: ' One Loaf of bread please ' Baker: ' White or Borwn ? ' Boy: ' Thats ok, I'm on my bike. '
laserblazer Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 A woman said to me I was the worst lover she had ever had. How can you make a statement like that after just 2 minutes?
Andrew_C Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 What do you call a blind deer? No idea. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea!
mattx Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 What do you call a blind deer? No idea. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea! What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no testicles ? Still no F**king idea....
EduTech Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 what do you call a women with tiles on her head? ... Ruth and A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
mattx Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 What do you call a man with no arms or legs who can swim the channel ? Clever Dick.
acrobson Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 A husband and wife are looking at a new range of c0d0m$ to living things up a little in their relationship, the new range is called the Olympic range. The man says to his wife "I think i will get the Gold edition" His wife replies, "Why not get Silver, you can come 2nd for a change!"
antoeknee Posted June 28, 2008 Posted June 28, 2008 Boy walks into a bakers: Boy: ' One Loaf of bread please ' Baker: ' White or Borwn ? ' Boy: ' Thats ok, I'm on my bike. ' Probably going to regret this but, this one escapes me. Also escapes a couple of other people I've shown it to as well. Probably really obvious once its explained. Heres hoping I don't feel real stupid in a few minutes.
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