HarryMonkey

I'm not able to go at all this year (So, if someone wants to send me a landyard .........

Can you work out the answers to the questions in the pic. https://twentytwowords.com/this-campsite-riddle-has-the-internet-completely-stumped/

They obviously live on a quality street.

I think it's a job for special branch.

Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, £1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."

My friend Sid was a victim of I.D. theft. Now people call him S.

This might have been posted before but it's always worth revisiting I think ... Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. The assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance. Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions. Finally, for those involved in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas – be safe out there.......

Chocolate fingers dipped in Branston ... mmmmmm (Don't knock until you've tried it).

Along with a nice bottle of port.

We will be having turkey again this year cooked (as we did last year) using the Phil Vickery method. Farewell dry turkey, hello moist succulent flavourful dinner. Phil Vickery's turkey masterclass | Food | This Morning

I recently visited the National Railway Museum at York. Unfortunately it was closed... So I had to go to the National Bus Replacement Museum instead!

When I first saw this (all those years ago), this line had me collapsed in a heap.

I just bought an expensive car, only to find the reverse gear broken... There's no going back now!

Just remember ...

The inventor of the snooze button has passed away... His funeral will take place tomorrow at 10:00am, 10:09am, 10:18am, 10:27am and 10:36am!

We experimented with "Slideshow Remote Lite" using an IOS device. You install Logic Server (free download) on your PC with the ppt on it and control the slides using the IOS device. https://www.logicinmind.com/en/logic-server/overview.html https://www.slideshowremote.com/en/overview.html EDIT: Sorry, just seen that you only have a Windows tablet.

'Ang on a minute, you only worked in private schools but never associated children with money ... #confused.

So maybe the next time finance need something doing it could take several days due to the slow and temperamental equipment that you have to work with Just saying.

I've stayed on a few parks where they offer site-wide free wifi but only at a low speed, to get a faster speed you need to sign up for the paid for option so, as someone has already said, spending money on hardware may not improve your speed.

I have an RM PC !! Nuff said

Taken with my iPhone back in the summer.

A quick whizz through photoshop.

Got mine today, thanks folks

I'm looking forward to seeing this, having seen Queen at Knebworth in 1986. (For those of you not old enough to have witnessed this event, here's a flavour of what it was like to see Queen live ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ttmKIXRM0w )

I watched Peter Kay's comedy shuffle the other night (Series 3 has just started) which featured the clip with the pig in the campervan ... pure comedy gold