HarryMonkey

Yep, I bought them last week for my Kindle and added them to the pile waiting to be read

What are they called?

Just to round off the term nicely ... To stop ants coming into your house, leave a saucer of milk outside. The adult ants drink it and it has an effect on ant reproduction. The young are born without toes, so they can't climb into your house. This effect is called lack toes in toddler ants.

Did you know that Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price and heavier than Alan Price? I found this out on a Price comparison website.

An elderly man celebrates his 90th birthday and goes to the doctor for his yearly check-up. After running a few tests, the doctor smiles and says, “I have to say, for a man of 90, you’re in incredible condition. Honestly, you may be the healthiest man your age I’ve ever examined.” The old man grins proudly. “Well, Doc, I owe it all to living right. Clean living, strong faith, and staying close to the Lord.” The doctor chuckles. “Oh really? And what makes you so sure of that?” The old man leans in and says, “Because every single night when I get up to use the bathroom, the Good Lord turns the bathroom light on for me.” The doctor blinks. “You mean… whenever you get up in the night, the light just comes on?” “Exactly,” the old man says confidently. “Every night without fail.” A few days later, the man’s wife comes in for her own appointment. The doctor decides to mention it. “Your husband is doing amazingly well physically,” he says, “but I’m a little worried about something he told me. He claims the Lord turns the bathroom light on for him every night.” The wife stares at him in disbelief. “He said WHAT?” The doctor repeats himself. She throws her hands in the air and groans, “Well, that explains who has been peeing in the refrigerator!”

To the person who stole my glasses - I will find you! I have contacts!

Here's the falls without the focus ring sillyness. Needs running through Photoshop to brighten it up a bit.

Went to Wales over the holiday. Visited Swallow Falls. I was experimenting with this image. It's a 1.3 second exposure with an ND filter. Whilst the image was taking, I turned the focus to create the light effect. Not sure if it worked but I'll try the technique again sometime.

Ok, so I don't know what apocalypse means. It's not the end of the world.

Improve your chances of becoming a train driver by not turning up to the interview, and sending a bus driver along instead.

I got arrested for stealing a kitchen utensil but it was a whisk I was willing to take.

She's found her favourite programme

I said to the girl in B&Q "What's best for greasy ovens?" She said, "Ammonia cleaner" I said, "Sorry, I thought you worked here"

Maybe I'm Not God : Cat Chronicles The daily life and world of a house cat, from the moment it’s adopted—told from the cat’s perspective. A long monologue, a comedy of missteps where feline and human viewpoints often coincide, yet give rise to an irresistible, amusing, and passionate tale of love and friendship. It is the author’s love letter—a devoted cat lady’s homage—to the most beautiful animal on earth. This is a must read for anyone who's had a cat, has a cat or might get a cat. An amusing and heartwarming story told by the cat. I recommend it

The wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl. I said to be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket.

I went into the pet shop and asked if I could buy a goldfish. The shopkeeper asked if I wanted an aquarium. I said I don't care what star sign it is.

Did you know, the most common owl in the UK is the Teat Owl. There's one in almost every kitchen.

Erm!

As a result of the current financial climate, our local kennels has had to call in the official retrievers.

My first foray into the world of group policy resulted in the s drive being uninstalled from all of the admin workstations and yes, it was at a SIMS school!!

Congratulations to Hugh Zappritti-Boyden on his new role as head of the National Parrot Owners Association.

Photoshop's AI remove tool will get rid of that market stuff.

They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic but so far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase!

I currently drive both, my car is an auto and my work van is a manual. Personally I would go for auto every time now. Much easier, especially in traffic, no more foot on and off the clutch as you wind your way at snail pace through a queue.