Wils86 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Three Times A Charm: Get the same virus on your laptop 3 times in one year, whislt claiming to only have used it for school purposes HomeWrecker: Drop another teachers personal laptop which was a wedding gift from the mother in law Lastminute.com: Get a request for an urgent job that needs to be completed NOW
Dos_Box Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Fruit Salad: When questioned by IT support staff as to exactly what the Limewire icon on your desktop is doing there, claim it was put there by your son/daughter/partner, and no, you have no idea why your laptop is running so slowly.
jcs808 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 That's my boy: When a porn DVD is found in your laptop optical drive, blame in on your teenage son.
Domino Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Maintain Radio Silence: Deny having ever seen an error message Dangerous Ground: Refer to a sysadmins area of expertise as 'that computer rubbish' 5 times. and live.
andy_nic Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 If at first you don’t succeed: keep clicking the icon till you have 50 windows open
AMLinington Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Distributed Denial of Service : 'Accidently' unplug the WAP that just happens to be located in your area in order to charge your personal mobile. Possession is 9/10's of the law : Refuse to allow ICT to upgrade/reinstall your computer on the grounds that you know how to use it in its current state and don't want it changed.
Gonk Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 (edited) Resistance is futile: Assimilate hardware and software from other departments to add to your own department's equipment. Edited May 6, 2011 by Gonk
Dos_Box Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Tech Fender-Bender: To posses various devices from laptops, smartphone and tablets, none of which are willing to communicate with the other.
Gonk Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Altered Image: mange not to notice pupils shattering TFT Screens in your class five times in a term.
Mr.Ben Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 The Man from Del Monte: Swear that Apple Macs are just better, for everything.
MK-2 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Into the Lions den : Refer to the sysadmins office as "where the geeks hang out" and live to tell the tale
Pete10141748 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 The Babysitter - Successfully avoid doing any work for a whole day by showing the kids DVDs and having "Free play" time Citizen Cane - Recount stories of the "good old days" when you used to beat your pupils for being naughty You Can Stand Under My.... - Successfully use your laptop as a makeshift umbrella when going out to your car in the rain Size Counts - Claim you need a 19" widescreen HD laptop to teach, and whine to management enough that you get it Organised Chaos - Be prepared for OFSTED and request no ICT support for the duration of the inspection Arm The Troops! - Request laptops for your TA's so they can print your work off for you. It's A Trap! - Call tech support to your room for something minor, then berate them for not fixing a major issue yet Operation Flashpoint - Wear an inappropriately low-cut top and/or short skirt to work My favourite one here, don't know why just chuckled like a loon when I thought it up! We're all going on a..... - Enquire with the ICT Support staff how their summer holiday was fully knowing that they were at work the whole time The Machine That Goes PING! - Call out a techie because a laptop/desktop is 'making a strange noise' that is actually a perfectly normal Windows sound notification Static Cling - Break every bit of IT kit you come into contact with Pass the Parcel - Report an IT issue to another member of academic staff who then passes it to IT for you Anthropomorphic Personification - Constantly refer to a laptop/desktop as "he" or "she" when reporting problems Big Brother - Look shocked when told that IT staff know everything you on your computer Big Brother 2 - Complain about your computer use being recorded/monitored because you know you do things you shouldn't Screen Time - Carry your open laptop around by holding the screen Super Collider 3000 - Bump your laptop off of walls. doors, and other people while you carry it around Idle Hands - Do not log in to your computer account for over a week Surfin' Bird - Use your school computer to shop for shoes and/or handbags Yes, that's a bit sexist, and no, I don't care!
Rawns Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 (edited) This is the News - Spend at least 4 hours on the BBC website in one working day Plausible Deniability - Accidently reboot a key server, then deny having any knowledge of doing so. You've got mail! - Sign your colleagues up for every spam newsletter you can find. Green Fingers - While your colleague is on holiday, sprinkle water cress seeds into their keyboard and water daily. Touché - Awarded if your colleague uses the water cress created from Green Fingers in an egg sandwich. Tea's Up - Have at least 6 hot drinks in one day. Running man! - Create a flip book by drawing a running stick man on your colleagues post-it notes. Edited May 6, 2011 by Rawns
cromertech Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 The Cable Guy: Insist on moving your desk as far away as possible from the network/projector point next to the whiteboard and then complain because your leads don't reach anymore
cromertech Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 bUSBy: Continue to plug your pen drive in the back of a computer even though there are perfectly good USB ports on the front but they are hidden by a flap.
Pete10141748 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Following on from the Tech/Admin achivements thread Where was this thread, I've searched all over and can't locate it!
Pete10141748 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Mini Me - send a pupil to report a problem for you
SYNACK Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Where was this thread, I've searched all over and can't locate it! @Pete10141748 - You're right that was hard to find, the original was here http://www.edugeek.net/forums/jokes-interweb-things/74415-achievement-unlocked.html I swear the search feature only indexes 1/15th of the DB.
Pete10141748 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) Thanks synack! I had searched using all the "achievements, achievement, achievement unlocked" etc phrases I could think of but only got this thread in the search results! D'oh! Edited May 9, 2011 by Pete10141748
MK-2 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Thanks synack! I had searched using all the "achivements, achievement, achivement unlocked" etc phrases I could think of but only got this thread in the search results! D'oh! Excuses excuses : Fail to find the aforementioned thread multiple times sorry, couldn't resist
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