Want to hear the most stupid comments that some one has ever said to you!!!!!

[gizmo2005]

I was with my ex mrs and we decided to go out shopping for the day on a saturday so as you can imagine really busy, anyway i was driving about trying to find a parking space, gets to this Car park and all of a sudden she turns to me and says.....

 

 

I wonder why theres so many cars here!!!!!! (after picking myself up i sarcastically responded Babes Its a car Park)

 

 

wanna hear your moments too

[tommccann]

my girlfriend recently said to me "i had a test for dyslexia once, they told me i wasnt dyslexic just stupid!" made me laugh. i replied "you put the sexy in dyslexia babe" she then said looking confused "i dont get it?!"

[Hightower]

I get stupid ones all the time. Like for example, last night we went to B&Q, bought some varnish, and then I spent from 7 until 10 varnishing the doors and stairs. Finish at 10, and she turns to me and says "I hate it, it's too dark".

 

Turns out that's a pretty stupid thing to say when someone has spent 3 solid hours varnishing, because she now has the remainder of the varnish in a 'modern art' formation on the chimney breast from where I chucked the bucket.

[gizmo2005]

just rememberd being in a car with my mate and we was just driving around, when all of a sudden he turned to his right and tried to spit out the window (unfortunaly he hadnt wouned his window befor doing this LOL i was in stitches)

[solitaire89]

My sister has just bought a new car (a very nice mazda mx5), and was merrily deciding what she should put in her "box in the boot" (you know, the usual stuff for the car, first aid kit, hi-viz jacket, National Trust book (?!) etc.). And she starts going through the odds and sods that came with the car, and she holds up a bag with the towing eyes in. Cue the best comment ever:

 

"Do I have to leave these in my car? I don't want them in the box, they don't look pretty!"

[SC-UK]

My sister has just bought a new car (a very nice mazda mx5), and was merrily deciding what she should put in her "box in the boot" (you know, the usual stuff for the car, first aid kit, hi-viz jacket, National Trust book (?!) etc.). And she starts going through the odds and sods that came with the car, and she holds up a bag with the towing eyes in. Cue the best comment ever:

 

"Do I have to leave these in my car? I don't want them in the box, they don't look pretty!"

 

This just reminded me of when I bought my A3. The salesman gave me, and was very proud of, one of those hammer devices designed for A) cutting through seat belts and B) smashing through windows - The idea being if you have an accident, crash into a river, etc, you can get yourself out of the car more easily. Anyway, the thing he was most pleased about was the fact that this device had been designed to perfectly fit into one of the compartments in the boot - therefore, making it almost completely useless!

[korifugi]

One of my friends is a veritable gold mine of little gems:

 

On Mapreading: "Is this blue line a road or a river?"

 

On wanting some lined paper: "Can I have some plain paper with lines on?"

 

On generating a character for SG1 Roleplay: (While he is sorting his equipment Myself and the DM are discussing the type of character he'll invariably play) "You all make me out to be some kind of psycho." (then, with only a short pause) "So, if I spend a gear pick I can have 75 extra rounds for my glock?" *Note: He didn't even realise what he'd said until I almost fell off my chair laughing*

[featured_spectre]

My friend made some really foolish comments in the past ... And they always seem to be when he is surrounded by a big group of friends... haha

 

For example

 

1) Rome's in Romania

2) Eskimo's live in Ethiopia (I still can't believe he said that!)

 

I almost wet myself at the 2nd one

[featured_spectre]

This just in from a pupil right behind me.....

 

"But ducks are fish"

 

and now "Do polar bears come from Poland"

Edited July 2, 2010 by featured_spectre

[accura2000]

Was in a year 6 class a couple of years ago when the teachers asks the pupils, "What materials do we mine for?" to which a pupil replied "Pot Noodle Sir!"

 

I was in stitches.

[witch]

My sister once walked out of a pub to find it was raining and said "why does rain make everything so wet?'

Then she said: 'where does all this rain come from?'

Someone pointed UP - and she looked!

[joe90bass]

When my sister was in her ealry teens someone asked what she wanted to do when older (Career wise), she said she wanted to go into soliciting! My Dad and I suggested she might prefer to be a solicitor instead.........!!

[AngryITGuy]

I get stupid ones all the time. Like for example, last night we went to B&Q, bought some varnish, and then I spent from 7 until 10 varnishing the doors and stairs. Finish at 10, and she turns to me and says "I hate it, it's too dark".

 

Turns out that's a pretty stupid thing to say when someone has spent 3 solid hours varnishing, because she now has the remainder of the varnish in a 'modern art' formation on the chimney breast from where I chucked the bucket.

 

I brought some Yacht Varnish for a new garden gate I put up last year, left it on the kitchen table when I got back from B&Q, 5 minutes later was getting grief from the wife for wasting money because we didn't have a yacht!!!!

[Haptic]

Absolutely genius thread (makes you feel good to be alive and functioning properly!)

 

Sadly I have a few to add...

 

Whilst working at 'Hellcyon' pitching copier paper...a customer asked me whether I could fax them a paper sample.....

 

Another beauty was when my friends and I were discussing why Sony PS1 had raised bumps on the lid, proudly my friend crowed "durr you prats (edited)....it's brail!!"

We still laugh about that one.

[solitaire89]

This just reminded me of when I bought my A3. The salesman gave me, and was very proud of, one of those hammer devices designed for A) cutting through seat belts and B) smashing through windows

 

Is that the same sort of hammer device that has the thing for piercing the air bags once they've gone off... I still cannot work that one out to this day!

[strawberry]

just rememberd being in a car with my mate and we was just driving around, when all of a sudden he turned to his right and tried to spit out the window (unfortunaly he hadnt wouned his window befor doing this LOL i was in stitches)

 

mate of mine did that with a box of cereal he had added milk too ( dont ask.) unfortunately I was sat directly behind him.

[SteveBentley]

Whilst working at 'Hellcyon' pitching copier paper...a customer asked me whether I could fax them a paper sample.....

 

On similar lines... "If this has been faxed, why is it still here?" From a science teacher at my old school, circa 1996.

[SC-UK]

Is that the same sort of hammer device that has the thing for piercing the air bags once they've gone off... I still cannot work that one out to this day!

 

Yes I think it did that as well. Similar to this http://www.fireblitz.co.uk/productimages/LifeHammer.jpg

[kevbaz]

my mates sister onces asked whilewatching formula 1

 

 

"how do the cameramen stay on the cars?"

[Haptic]

On similar lines... "If this has been faxed, why is it still here?" From a science teacher at my old school, circa 1996.

 

Equally excellent!

 

If fax machines have been teleportation devices all along, does anyone have a steamroller and the area code for Hawaii?

 

Joe

[e_g_r]

At my last school a flock of geese used to take up residence during the summer hols, doing their 'business' all over the playing fields. The new lady head of PE said in the staff room "i don't understand how they get in when the gates are locked"

[FN-GM]

I called my friend a mong once. Some randomer butted in and said "use the full name, its mongolian"

 

another time around the dinner table for a chicken dinner there was 4 of us. We could decide who was to have the legs. My brother says why dont we all have one.

[FN-GM]

I've had this a few times on my phone.

 

 

 

Brilliant.

 

yep had that one twice off the same person. (a few years apart from each other)

[Sarconia]

My housemate comes out with comments like this all the time, I correct him all the time but he still believes that he's right even after I've chucked a bucketload of proof in his direction, usually courtesy of the internet.

 

After editing a document he wrote to include bullet points as it really did need them.

 

"Yeah, I'm going to edit that out as I haven't started using bullet points yet..."

 

Whilst watching Crank 2, at the very beginning of the film:

 

*Yells* "It's a pacemaker"... "No.. it's an artificial heart.. a pacemaker is a device which shocks your heart" ... "it's a pacemaker" and then the film gives the explanation about artificial hearts... lol

[K.C.Leblanc]

my mates sister onces asked whilewatching formula 1

 

 

"how do the cameramen stay on the cars?"

 

Skip to about 2 minutes in and you'll be shown how it's done.

 

YouTube - Jean Alesi takes his first and only vicotry - F1 1995 Canada