JJonas Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Exactly right mate. Couldnt have put it better myself. Another one from the vault: "Ive locked my keys in the car, ill ask IT they look like they know how to break into cars ..." not a joke either. I would have been tempted to throw a brick through the side window. Job done 1
TechMonkey Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Had to get birds out of corridors and stair wells, investigate a squirell stuck in a tree (don't ask but this caused school wide panic), been me in a school play and supplied petrol and a jack to cars stuck in the car park. Sure there are others but of course they will ellude me until I'm away from teh computer!
Lee_K_81 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Just this lunchtime had a good one. Can you take a look at the blood all over the floor and walls in the Boy's toilet and see if you can find who it belongs to. Cue The Who, some Crime Scene tape, a nice new jacket with CSI on the back, a queue of students waiting to give blood samples and a nice big budget to buy the blood analysis machines plus a big shiny 2x Quad-Core Server to analyse the data!
ChrisC Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 investigate a squirell stuck in a tree (don't ask but this caused school wide panic) I just have to!! What was so special about the squirell? Chris
witch Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I'm still thinking about the 'Great Dove Capture' Conjures up a lovely picture Why don't I ever get asked to do this sort of thing?
dhicks Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 What was so special about the squirell? And how does a squirell get stuck in a tree? -- David Hicks
rhyds Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 A few of our best: 1: While covering a games lesson the maths teacher thew the ball in for a line out, and off popped his wedding ring... 3 hours later, and after the site supervisor ringing around everyone he knew for a metal detector (including the fire service, BT and Welsh Water, and using the supervisor's pipe/cable detector), and having subdivided the field in to strips for searching, at the end of the final strip we found the ring (along with 37 1/2p, 2/6 and three groats and a gas main) 2: Not long after starting here, for some young enterprise day, the site supervisor and I were dispatched to a farm to collect some big square bales on a trailer. Luckily the site supervisor owns a pickup truck, and we needed it as big square bales weigh about a third of a tonne. It took 8 of us to lift/drag each one when we got back (the were loaded by a telehandler), including the maths teacher from above. Once we'd emptied the trailer, the site supervisor says "can you take the trailer back?".... ... cue me working out if I was legal to tow this thing (with an empty trailer I was), and then driving a pickup truck i'd never touched before, with a trailer hanging off the back, through town, on market day, at rush hour. That was fun...
Pyroman Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I had to save a pigeon with a broken wing from halfway up a tree after half the lads in the school decied it'd be fun to try and play stamp on the injured animal. The amount of kids i wish i could have punched in the face for that i tell ya, there's no need, bunch of idiots. Also captured a bird that was flying around reception. Had to go to the cash and carry with the site manager for food for the school Car boot sale. never seen packs of sausages and bacon that big in my life. And then today i've had to bump start a parents car after they broke down on the school driveway, didn't manage to get it going so we left it on the main road(drive is only wide enough for one car and it was blocking the way) R.A.C. said we'll be there within the next 4 hours!!!
rhyds Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I had to save a pigeon with a broken wing from halfway up a tree after half the lads in the school decied it'd be fun to try and play stamp on the injured animal. The amount of kids i wish i could have punched in the face for that i tell ya, there's no need, bunch of idiots. Also captured a bird that was flying around reception. Had to go to the cash and carry with the site manager for food for the school Car boot sale. never seen packs of sausages and bacon that big in my life. And then today i've had to bump start a parents car after they broke down on the school driveway, didn't manage to get it going so we left it on the main road(drive is only wide enough for one car and it was blocking the way) R.A.C. said we'll be there within the next 4 hours!!! We had a teacher's car with the lights/radio left on, the problem was it was a MK4 Golf TDI, so needed a fair bit of juice to turn it over, so we tried to jump start it. The science tech tried first with some "tool kit for your boot" thing her mother had bought her, the cables were the most lightweight things i'd ever seen! So we buttonholed the next person to come out (the DH) and asked if he had any jump leads. He pulled a set out of the boot of his car that could easily have got the QE2 fired up from cold, which apparently were bought by the wife from a farmer's co-op. These had it started in two minutes, and i've been looking for a set ever since
Pyroman Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 We had a teacher's car with the lights/radio left on, the problem was it was a MK4 Golf TDI, so needed a fair bit of juice to turn it over, so we tried to jump start it. The science tech tried first with some "tool kit for your boot" thing her mother had bought her, the cables were the most lightweight things i'd ever seen! So we buttonholed the next person to come out (the DH) and asked if he had any jump leads. He pulled a set out of the boot of his car that could easily have got the QE2 fired up from cold, which apparently were bought by the wife from a farmer's co-op. These had it started in two minutes, and i've been looking for a set ever since Hehe that's what ya need, think my brother's got some of those little dainty ones aswell, look like you might be able to run a 9v battery through them and then they'd melt. My dad used to be a breakdown recovery guy and mechanic for 20 years so he's got a right monster pair of jump leads Just got word about this car that's broken down, they had the garage out that they bought it from (a month ago) thinking it was a mechanical problem and apparently they've done a test and they've gone and stuck petrol in it instead of diesel the kid filled it up (not the parent), you have to laugh though , the kid rolled the car down the school drive like lightning then slammed on the brakes when i asked him what he's doing re replied, bump starting it!! doesn't work like that!
crc-ict Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Last week, one of the teachers asked me if I would collect a lady from a nearby town who was coming in to give dance lessons. I asked where she lived and then said isn't that on your way in to school. Oh yes she said, I hadn't thought of that, what a good idea. Having seen said dance teacher I'm kicking myself. She is stunning Gutted!
SYNACK Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I have had to catch a bird that was stuck inside a classroom. Helped a builder rebuild and reinforce the inside of a wall so that we could then bolt the big shelter that had almost fallen off back on. Jump start a stupidly large (6.4L) four wheel drive that no one else could, turned out that it needed to be hooked up to a running car for a couple of minutes because the battery was that big and that flat. Re-mount a couple of white boards (not interactive) and board up some windows when the caretaker was away. Never been told to do any of that stuff though, always asked. Our staff know better
ICT_GUY Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Walk into school one morning this week to be asked by member of (attractive female) staff who's covering reception if I can see her 'bum' through her white trousers. Being a professional I carefully take a look and inform her that unfortunately I could not. Apparently her husband was away that morning so she couldn't ask him and she was paranoid that they were a bit see through........ I would have had her bend over, stand next to the window, bright light ect. http://students.washington.edu/uwisa/images/familyguy/quagmire.jpg
sparkeh Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Ha! New one straight of the press. Just had to climb a tree to retrieve a child's shoe that flew off during football. All female staff except for Head who is out, and apparently climbing trees is boys stuff
martynbez Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 just had to go remove tipex off the new admin lady's flat screen! bless her! one of the SLT aunts. Did'nt think of asking her if she knew how to use a computer!!!!!
Lee_K_81 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 just had to go remove tipex off the new admin lady's flat screen! bless her! one of the SLT aunts. Did'nt think of asking her if she knew how to use a computer!!!!! No way?!!? I thought that only happened in Irish jokes! (and i am half irish before it all starts!)
TechMonkey Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 And how does a squirell get stuck in a tree? -- David Hicks Well ii was in a tree that is in the middle of the conrete area but it sat there for a bout 2 days and all the kids started either trying to see if it would fall out (if they shook the tree hard enough) or if they could tempt it out of the tree by throwing food to (at) it. Or shoes. Or other kids. It was during that really cold spell we had & teh kids couldn't understand why it would just cling there. Neither could we really but we got some great rumours going about what happened to it after it was just gone one morning.
martynbez Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 No way?!!? I thought that only happened in Irish jokes! (and i am half irish before it all starts!) i thought i was a joke till i walked in the office!
chrbb Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 There seems to be bit of a wildlife/bird (feathered kind) theme here:) Helping to recover an escaped dove. They were supposed to be kept under netting for 4 weeks to get used to their new home and one escaped. One 7 month pregnant teacher (not me) , two learning mentors, me, a tablecloth and a butterfly net. In true female fashion though the whole job was halted to discuss one of my fellow dove catcher's new Per Una cardigan:)
LeMarchand Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Just posed as the husband of one of the admin staff. (Not in that way! - though she's a nice lady and I wouldn't say no to her daughter if I was single). She wanted to cancel her Broadband, but it was in her husband's name. Did something similar once on a private job, and almost came unstuck when "my" mother's maiden name had "gone out of my head" and "my" missus didn't know it either! Luckily the bloke in the call centre wasn't overly worried...
Guest Guest Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 ^ Did that one for our mum the other day. "2 seconds, Ill just check with the wife"
TechMonkey Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Done that as well for someone I was doing a job for. Only trouble was it was for a female. Phone monkey at the end didn't seem to mind.
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