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April Fools 2019

6Foot2

By 6Foot2
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6Foot2

6Foot2

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Link: Hyper Releases The Mother Of All USB-C Hubs

 

Why have one USB port when you can have fifteen (15) USB ports?

 

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Wait, actually there are 3 more USB ports on the other side...plus a 3.5" floppy disk drive and even more I/O!

 

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...FOR IMMEDIATE PRESS RELEASE

 

Monday, April 1st, 2019 FREMONT CALIFORNIA: Feeling nostalgic about the features that made your old desktop a classic? Say hello to the Ultimate Ultimate Hub, a new cutting-edge tech accessory from HYPER. In an effort to please all of our customers, we have incorporated each and every one of their feature requests into a single device.

 

As a follow-up to our bestselling HyperDrive Ultimate Hub, which currently has the most number of ports (11) in a USB-C hub, this new product will feature 40 ports and has been aptly named the HyperDrive Ultimate Ultimate Hub. In addition to its arsenal of USB, HDMI, and Ethernet ports, the Ultimate Ultimate Hub offers an array of innovative technology, including two RCA connectors, a reader for your collection of floppy disks, and a built-in speaker that doubles as a space heater, with its temperature depending on the number of active connections to the USB-C hub.

 

Powered by the same technology as the beloved HyperDrive Ultimate USB-C Hub, the Ultimate Ultimate Hub has been called “life-changing,” “a must-have,” and “ever catching the envious eyes of airport TSA officers” by early testers.

 

Regularly offered at an MSRP of $9,999.99, the HyperDrive Ultimate Ultimate Hub (HUUH for short) is being offered for a limited time only at a sale price of $99.99 for an unprecedented 99.99% savings.

 

Notables:

 

  • Thick, heavy, substantial styling.
  • Built-in 100Wh / 27000mAh airline-safe battery pack
  • 2-in-1 speaker and space heater using the same front air vent holes (temperature depending on the number of active connections)
  • USB-C hub with a total of 40 ports

  • 9 x USB-C

  • 9 x USB-A

  • 2 x microSD

  • 2 x SD

  • 1 x 3.5mm Audio Jack

  • 1 x HDMI

  • 2 x DisplayPort

  • 1 x Mini DVI

  • 1 x VGA

  • 1 x Ethernet

  • 1 x Modem RJ-11

  • 1 x Optical Audio “Toslink”

  • 1 x Firewire 400

  • 1 x Firewire 800

  • 2 x RCA

  • 1 x Parallel Port

  • 1 x Serial Port

  • 1 x PS/2

  • 1 x AT Port

  • 1 x 3.5” Floppy Disk Drive

 

Pricing Info and Availability:

 

There is currently a waitlist to buy the HyperDrive Ultimate Ultimate Hub at the limited sale price of $99.99...

 

;)

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6Foot2

6Foot2

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Talking of Australia:

 

Link: Breaking News: New currency announced for Brexit transition period

 

Introducing the Pouro, the official transition period currency. But first, a little background info.

 

Brexit, or the withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union, has plagued global media outlets for over two years now. Who would have thought a little old thing like leaving the EU, the single market and a customs union would cause such a fuss...?

 

As the UK and the rest of the world come to terms with the fact that Brexit and the almighty amount of confusion that surrounds it will linger for quite a while longer, we thought it was best to do something to deplete some of the angst.

 

While the British Government and MPs have been bickering amongst themselves, Travel Money Oz has listened to what the people want. We get it, you are confused and angry. How will Brexit effect your summer jaunt to Europe? Will your plans of rooftop cocktails in London, sunbaking in Greece and pastry eating in Paris be hindered by Brexit? Most of all, how will Brexit effect the value of our trusty Aussie dollar?...

 

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...Pouro currency facts:

 

  • Just like the Canadian dollar smells of maple, the Aussie dollar is known to reek of VB, and you'll get the occasional waft of hot dog from the USD, the pouro smells of fresh croissants and an English breakfast tea. You may also detect subtle undertones of confusion and disappointment, which have been universal emotions throughout the entire Brexit ordeal.
  • The pouro is a blend of cotton fibre and paper. The paper itself is recycled from the ballots sheets used for the original referendum, as well as the multiple 'meaningful votes' and 'indicative votes' held in the UK Parliament.
  • The 10 pouro note is purposely soft, ready to be used as a tissue to wipe your tears of frustration in the border security line at the airport.
  • If you piled up all of the pouro coins that have been created, it would build a bridge from the UK to Paris for those who don't, in fact, want to leave the EU.
  • The largest denomination available is 2903 pouros. An odd number, however, it commemorates the original Brexit date and is probably indicative of the year the whole thing will actually get sorted.
  • Members of the UK Parliament are still bickering about the design of the bills, hoping to somehow include a picture of a corgi on the 50 pouro note. This argument is futile, considering the EU has already stated there will be no more amendments to the note design, even if it is the inclusion of a fluffy little bundle of joy.
  • There are rumours that there will be a commemorative 'divorce bill' pouro. Its value will be uncertain and will change depending on who is holding it, reminiscent of the Brexit divorce bill.

A limited number of pouro notes will be available on Monday from your local Travel Money Oz. Get it quick before the illustrious smell wears off the notes.

 

Trust us, EU’ll love it.

6Foot2

6Foot2

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NOTE: Potentially NSFW?

 

Link:

[bBC iPlayer Video Tweet]

 

Introducing @BBCiPlayer’s #SkipTheSex button.

 

For those mortifying moments when a surprise 🍆 or 🍑 makes you 😳…

 

Avoid those awkward sex scenes and simply skip the sex!

 

If you’ve ever been caught out watching a programme with the family when something quite raunchy comes on, BBC iPlayer’s new ’Skip the Sex’ button is for you!

 

The button uses advanced metadata techniques to identify scenes that have been tagged as containing sexual content. As things begin to heat up, the button will pop up in the bottom right hand corner of the screen, enabling viewers to skip ahead to the next appropriate scene.

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