How to scare off cold callers

[MkII]

We stumbled across a novel way to scare off cold calling sales people... they always ask how much our budget is and we always say we don't have a budget (which is true... we have about £2k a year that has to cover consumables).

 

So jokingly we said "if you vote Labour in this election and they get in, we'll have loads of money to spend with you in the future".

 

Wow they can't get off the phone fast enough! 😂 I think one was pretty mad! Works a treat anyway.

[timbo343]

We stumbled across a novel way to scare off cold calling sales people... they always ask how much our budget is and we always say we don't have a budget (which is true... we have about £2k a year that has to cover consumables).

 

So jokingly we said "if you vote Labour in this election and they get in, we'll have loads of money to spend with you in the future".

 

Wow they can't get off the phone fast enough! 😂 I think one was pretty mad! Works a treat anyway.

Hah! Might just have to try something along those lines.

[smurfomatic]

A friend of mine used to get lots of misdialled numbers for the local caravan park, when they called up to book he'd ask if they were part of the leather and bondage session. Normally they'd hang up about then...

[MkII]

Haha 😁

[micktordoff]

I have a whistle next to the phone which I use for very irritating callers.

Or I sometimes say.

"You have reached the premium rate hotline service, calls to this number are 50 rupees per minute".

[claireadams]

That's not the best way, do it the Henry Rollins way haha

[unixman_again]

I say that we've just signed a five year contract for whatever they are trying to sell us.

[elsiegee40]

I say that we've just signed a five year contract for whatever they are trying to sell us.

 

What a coincidence. I have heard our Bursar using that tactic.

 

Being a one-woman-band, I became very good at promoting or demoting myself as appropriate.

 

A meek "I'm only the part time technician"

 

... or the full force of an "I am the Network Manager"

 

The Head knew I did it and thought it hilarious

[mukz]

I just say everything is procured by our LEA for about 10 schools so speak to them, the guy there will send them back my way and so forth, quickly they will learn to go away.

[Norphy]

I’ve said in the past that we’re part of a purchasing consortium and that all purchases had to go through them.

 

It wasn’t ENTIRELY true but that was a grain of truth in there and it got rid of enough annoying sales people to justify saying it

[LincolnE]

For people knocking on the door to sell crap, the good old "I'm renting, but I can pass something to my landlord" for windows, boilers or the like.

 

I've owned my house for the past two years, but I still say this knowing they'll know no landlord will sign up so not worth the time or hassle of talking.

[FN-GM]

I had someone on the street trying to sell me windows. I tell them I live in army barracks, puts them off.

 

I had AA try to stop me to sell me breakdown cover in the Trafford Centre. Just did a thumbs up and tell them I am already a member and didn't stop walking.

[Vaardu]

Had a cold-caller and all I did was breathed heavily, and after the third "Hello?" I said "Leetle pigs. Can we come in to touch your chinny chin-chins" in a deep, growling voice. It worked and wasn't pestered again.

[PotNoodleTech]

Heavy breathing, followed by tape recordings of ex misco employees screaming in pain.

[dcwhitworth]

I have two approaches depending how I'm feeling.

1. "I'm sorry but it is policy that we don't deal with cold callers" (true. Team policy admittedly but policy none the less)

2. I am polite to them once. I tell them I am not interest in their services and if they rudely decide to continue talking then I no longer feel under obligation to be polite back. If I'm in a nice mood I'll reiterate my point and if they still continue I'll put the phone down. Cold callers mostly exploit the fact that most people consider it rude to terminate a phone conversation without mutual consent.

 

Also reception are very helpful, we've given them a list of companies we deal with who get put straight through. They'll usually filter out obvious sales people ("Can I speak to your network manager") and ask them to email.

[MkII]

Cold callers mostly exploit the fact that most people consider it rude to terminate a phone conversation without mutual consent.

 

So true

 

I managed to overcome that limitation. At home the phone goes down if I hear an echo.

[Katy]

Cold callers mostly exploit the fact that most people consider it rude to terminate a phone conversation without mutual consent.

If you go silent mid sentence they will reply with "Hello?" a few times, followed by them hanging up and then just remember the number and don't answer when they call back. Although sometimes they eventually try again from a mobile in which case goto 10 and repeat. Shame that saying "No" at the start and not answering calls isn't enough of a hint to GO AWAY with some of them.

[dcwhitworth]

If you go silent mid sentence they will reply with "Hello?" a few times, followed by them hanging up and then just remember the number and don't answer when they call back. Although sometimes they eventually try again from a mobile in which case goto 10 and repeat. Shame that saying "No" at the start and not answering calls isn't enough of a hint to GO AWAY with some of them.

 

I found a nice thing that seems to work reasonably well. If you get a suspected cold caller at home or on your mobile, pick the call up but don't say anything for a couple of seconds. If they're using an automatic call centre system they'll assume they got a dud connection and will ring off. Any legitimate caller will usually speak.

[bald_pig]

You're all putting way too much effort into cold calls, if I get a call on my phone I ask them to hold for a moment while I go somewhere I can talk, mute the phone, put it on the side and carry on with my day!

 

I've had some calls last 5 minutes of dead air...

[Meldrew]

I did once jokingly suggest we create a section of our phone system with a Scott Mills esque fake digital receptionist much like a maze of twisty tunnels all alike. Just transfer the call to the right number and see how long they last.

[denium]

I just blow a whistle down the phone!

[AMLinington]

My default go-to answer for cold callers either on my home or mobile is "You have the wrong number" regardless of what they're selling. I don't get any calls at work because I'm not customer-facing.

 

"Is this AMLinington?"

"No, you have the wrong number."

*Click*

 

"I'm calling about a recent motor vehicle accident?/Have you been involved in an accident recently?"

"No, you have the wrong number."

*Click*

 

"Ma'am I'm calling from BT. Your phone line is reporting a virus on your PC."

"There are no computers here. You have the wrong number."

*Click*

 

Works easily 99% of the time.

[Norphy]

For the cold calls I've been getting at home, saying "Wrong Number" rarely works. Instead, they say "Oh well, maybe you'll be interested in this instead then".

 

Then I *click* instead of them

[korifugi]

Hmmm, an idea strikes...

 

[difinity]

I politely inform any cold caller that I'm on the TPS and then ask them if they are aware unsolicited calls can result in a fine from the ICO of up to half a million pounds. I then ask for their name and the company name.

There is usually a short pause before the line goes dead.