Help - Need chat responses for an automated technician bot...

[DalekSec]

Error 404 My **** not found

[LoyalHeretic]

+++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

 

+++Error At Address: 14, Treacle Mine Road, Ankh-Morpork+++

 

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.

[JB7]

Error: 9008 [user is at fault ... again]

[Tesla]

Error: 9008 [user is at fault ... again]

 

That should be error #1

[sister_annex]

Ah... I believe you have discovered the error between the chair and keyboard

 

You are having a 6Ps problem, please try again

[JB7]

That should be error #1

Very true, but it was a subtle dig at calling them a noob (9008)

[NikChillin]

It is a PICNIC problem, Problem In Chair. Not In Computer!

[elsiegee40]

PICNIC

 

* let them work out what it stands for *

[spadam]

Thanks for all the suggestions, I knew this was the right place to ask! I've made some good progress on the development today.. Should be ready sometime after half term all being well...

[X-13]

Thanks for all the suggestions, I knew this was the right place to ask! I've made some good progress on the development today.. Should be ready sometime after half term all being well...

 

Is this text or speech?

 

 

Also add "Identity verification successful. Auto-destruct sequence initiated." to the list.

[fairm010]

PLEASE include something similar to this!

 

Please drink a verification can. - Imgur

[spadam]

Is this text or speech?

 

Both.. I've gotten a bit carried away with it today, no doubt spurred on by the quantity of ideas

[fairm010]

Jokes aside. is this designed to be a joke or a serious bot?

 

If it's a joke, this is my April fools sorted.

Edited February 11, 2015 by fairm010

[LiamH]

ID-10-T error please boot user

 

device status changed to FUBAR, good luck!

[spadam]

Jokes aside. is this designed to be a joke or a serious bot?

If it's a joke, this is my April fools sorted.

 

Obviously this will just be a joke I have neither the skill or the time to write anything that could actually be any real use to anyone

 

However... I'm already highly confident that it will be more useful than a couple of the teachers here at resolving anything technical once I'm gone..

[salc]

And you clicked on it? Oh Dear!

[fairm010]

This will be the best April 1st since I turned our HAP installation upside down!

[Oaktech]

Its the weekend, go pick your cold child up from the school car park and mark a few books at home.

 

You jest, but our computer management software used to flash up a custom message on the 9pm shutdown attempt for the Head's PC that said

 

"Dear . Work/Life balance. Please go home, your grand children will be pleased to see you."

 

Also, follow this:

[spadam]

Well.. Did some playing with this over the half term and bits in my spare time and this is what I've got... It's not going to be winning any Turing prizes anytime soon but should be good enough for a bit of fun when I leave...

 

I kept the responses light hearted I think so as not to offend anyone.. There's people here who I quite like and will still want to keep in touch with when I leave. Only had the one interview offer so far so may well be here for a while yet though.

 

For anyone else wanting to use this feel free to modify however you see fit and share back if you wish.

 

I also welcome any feedback on my coding to help me improve.. I'm pretty much self taught with Javascript but am aware I still have a long way to go.

 

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B6-S15THQtxib2RMQi1oNzk4cUU&usp=sharing

Edited February 26, 2015 by spadam

[fairm010]

OMFG YESSSS

 

[ATTACH=CONFIG]29360[/ATTACH]

[DalekSec]

mine doesn't seem to work, its got all the text but when I click send nothing happens.....

[spadam]

What browser are you using.. I've tested on Chrome and IE11 but should work on 9+..

[spadam]

If it IE and running locally you need to make sure its not running in compatibility mode.. Spent a long time working that out already

[DalekSec]

Redownloaded seemed to be working now!

[3s-gtech]

Genius. That should field about 50% of our support calls quite effectively, especially from some staff.