laserblazer

I tried phoning that Rebekah Brooks to tell her what I think. I couldn't get through, so I left her a message on my voicemail.

Could you measure the diagonal please? We have just had a small one trashed but it needs to be replaced with one of identical size.

This will pass anything on the road (except a filling station)

Motorcyclist dies in anti-helmet protest crash - Yahoo! Cars

Black Prince Canal Narrowboat Holidays & UK Barge & Boat Hire. might give you some ideas on pricing.

Kennet and Avon is pretty good and not too far to travel. There were loads of boat hire companies at our Water Festival and we noticed that it's not a cheap holiday anymore. But it is total relaxation and any holiday planning that is dictated by pup locations has got to be worth the money

The Water Festival over the weekend has been brilliant. Around 100 boats and the park and town packed with people. The weather was perfect. Real ale was £2.80 a pint and loads of good bands to entertain. The icecream man must have made a fortune.

An inmate from our local asylum escaped over the weekend, ravished the lady who owns the laundromat and then legged it. The local newspaper headline was "Nut screws washer and bolts"

It one of those "doesn't apply to me" mentalities. Along with, the phone is ringing, I must answer it.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. 'First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector', says the Coroner. 'Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.' The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?' 'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning.' 'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector. 'He thought he was having his picture taken'.

The only airport I know of with an Art Gallery.

MY Mother in Law's arthriris has meant she has to give up her job. She can't throw the harpoon any more. Pinched from Les Dawson.

We've been using the auto ones at Faro for a while but they can be hit and miss. Once, I go through but the missus didn't and she had to go to the back of the queue.

MY favourite French film is "AND". I think they called it ET over here. I know! It was on Mock the Week last night.

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day,then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day ...... And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.' When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs! 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?' The Irishman nodded ... 'I'll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 'tird day.' 'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor. 'No, from the f**kin' skippin'

What's an eating disorder got to do with it?

Officer

Access denied - Adult Site

That reminds me of ski chase in a James Bond film.

Yes, nice new towpaths. A lot are surfaced. The canal runs past a large housing estate and the High School so the kids there can now walk/cycle/sail from home to school, without crossing a road.

A few years ago, I took this video. There was still heaps of work to do and on Friday it's the grand opening. There are 60 odd boats parked up and we are going to have a big festival over the weekend.

There always seems to be a lot of cookbooks. They must think teachers like cooking. "Reverse Parking for Dummies" might be more appropriate.

We have several who leave their wares in the staffroom and there can be some cracking deals. I hate fried egg and getting my wife's eggy bits all over my bacon. In the Book Club that has just been delivered, a mini non-stick frying pan, just the size for a single egg, £3.00. So that's my phobia and the wife's wedding anniversary present sorted. Anyone else had a really good buy from a Book Club?

It is decided flaky again!!! Anyone else having problems?

I had a Y5 class today because they were using Publisher and it's new to them. I am going to advocate we turn the colour off so that they spend more time on the content rather than using every colour available on the background! A lot of them just wasted the lesson.