LeMarchand Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four ...and now, the conclusion to "A Christmas Travail". Stave five The Technician found himself back in his own bed. “Why have you shown me these visions, cruel phantom?” he sobbed. “Do you mean to totally rob me of all hope? Begone! Leave me to my misery!” “There is yet hope,” the figure announced. “How?” wailed The Technician. “You have shown me my future, and there was no hope there at all!” The apparition extended an arm and pointed at the bedroom wall. There, as it pointed, in glowing green letters of fire appeared the legend: http://www.ict-direct.co.uk/upgradathon The Technician scarce had time to think, “A QR code would’ve been nice,” before the phantom faded from view and the ghostly green fire of the legend blazed bright and then it too, was gone. The Technician reached feverishly for his telephone and tapped in the address, his eyes widening and his heart filling with something that he had not truly felt for too long. He knew that there would be many entries to the draw of which he had just learned, and he had but a small chance of his lot being improved, but even if he were not the lucky winner one of his colleagues across the land would be. For the phantom from ICT Direct had given not just him, but all of them, that most precious gift: hope. Later that morning, as he breakfasted, his wife wondered what had changed - for her husband seemed more like the man she had married. His stepdaughter, too, noticed his lifted spirits and even the cat allowed itself to be petted with less reluctance than normal. Hope was still bubbling in The Technician's heart when he reached school, greeting all and sundry with a cheery, “Hello,” and even the occasional, “Merry Christmas!” So changed was his demeanour that some of the smaller children took fright and ran to their teachers, but most of the school felt their hearts inexplicably lifted - as if The Technician's hope was spreading through the building. Even the teachers noticed the change. "Why," said one, "the techie seems different today. Is he not well?" "I think," replied another, "that he is... happy. I don't think I've ever seen him like that. It seems to be contagious, though, doesn't it?" "...and a Very Merry Christmas to all!" shouted the P.E. Teacher. "Derp!" ...and a Very Merry Christmas to you, Dear Reader. Fin 4
Garacesh Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 A poem I bring you at this festive time Anecdotes spoken with whimsy and rhyme As techies reprieve from bane of end-users Momentarily becoming perusers Of such a community full of good friends Helpers and forum trolls, fun never ends! And such do they spy with gleeful observance A competition which they enter most fervent Our favourite Dave, offering treats To deserving associates detailing their feats and technical woes and photoshop merit and options for stories, if you wish to tell it But dotted throughout all the comments, betwixt, came the angry shouts of "IF I DON'T WIN, IT'S FIXED!" 3
ICTDirect_Dave Posted November 30, 2018 Author Posted November 30, 2018 In before "WHO'S WON?!" Somebody! inb4 "WHENS VIDEO BEING PUT UP" Just as soon as I've finished putting it together (gotta play cricket first). 3
Garacesh Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 (gotta play cricket first). How quintessentially British of you. You guys.. You're alright 3
ICTDirect_Dave Posted November 30, 2018 Author Posted November 30, 2018 And here we are! We have our fourth winner, I've tried calling, but it's basically the weekend so nobody is answering. Congratulations anyway! 2
The_Oracle Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 And here we are! We have our fourth winner, I've tried calling, but it's basically the weekend so nobody is answering. Congratulations anyway! What! Pardon! Did that stuttering video show my name? If I'm wrong then sorry, I seem to be having trouble with this lovely core2duo machine.... Now where did input my mobile.... 4
The_Oracle Posted November 30, 2018 Posted November 30, 2018 And now the mobile seems to be 'going slow'. Maybe I need an IT tech, I've heard they can fix anything [emoji3] 4
Garacesh Posted December 1, 2018 Posted December 1, 2018 (edited) Aaand I'm in the wrong thread lmao. Ignore me. Edited December 1, 2018 by Garacesh 1
ICTDirect_Dave Posted December 3, 2018 Author Posted December 3, 2018 Having managed to speak with @The_Oracle finally we can get the prize shipped out. Your poor HP Core 2 Duo system with 4GB RAM will be getting a shiny Core 2 Quad CPU and an additional 4GB Memory. Congrats again! Two more weeks of upgrade draws and then it's our grand draw where you all go back in the Hat for a chance to win a shiny Xeon workstation of your very own!
ICTDirect_Dave Posted December 3, 2018 Author Posted December 3, 2018 Okay, so. New week, new faces for you. Here's four of our finest. Firstly we have Alex. He heads up our inventory team and makes sure I can see all the components I need to do my job. He also ensures they get picked correctly when orders are built. He's a diminutive chap, but he makes up for this by being the BIGGEST Liverpool fan. http://www.ict-direct.co.uk/media/edugeek/AlexS.JPG Next is Pete. Our resident Australian, Pete is our in house Magento expert and is currently working daily minor miracles ensuring that our Bargain Hardware website will be ready for launch (just don't ask him what date he plans to go live). His wit and strange eating habits have been welcome in our offices and he brings humour to every conversation. http://www.ict-direct.co.uk/media/edugeek/Pete.jpg Next up is Sam. Sam started in our trade purchasing team as a parts specialist, but he has recently moved over to Account Managed sales with Bargain Hardware. I'm sure - once his new colleagues have finished hazing him - that he'll be an excellent addition to their team. Sam is an ardent Burnley supporter which has seen his usually chipper mood sour somewhat this season. http://www.ict-direct.co.uk/media/edugeek/SamR.JPG Finally, here's Bobby. Bobby is our dispatch manager. He sits by the goods out door making sure that everything we ship is correctly packed and correctly labelled. He oversees a daily logistic nightmare and makes it look easy. Not one for football, outside of work Bobby is a cricketing legend down at Preston's famous Fulwood & Broughton Cricket Club. When we play an innings in the ICT Direct car park on a sunny afternoon, he brings a batting class that nobody here can match. http://www.ict-direct.co.uk/media/edugeek/BobbyP.JPG Hopefully that should give you some inspiration going into the final couple of weeks. Lets see what you can do.
Boredguy Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 well there goes my assistant for the rest of the afternoon..... 2
ICTDirect_Dave Posted December 3, 2018 Author Posted December 3, 2018 well there goes my assistant for the rest of the afternoon..... Well yes. But you can forgive him that. It's keeping him happy. I hope you appreciated the little Babylon 5 interlude in the latest draw video? btw? 1
DJ-1701 Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 Question... is it only men that work at ICT Direct... or is it just the women are the only sensible ones that don't want to be stuck in random pictures. 1
ICTDirect_Dave Posted December 3, 2018 Author Posted December 3, 2018 Question... is it only men that work at ICT Direct... or is it just the women are the only sensible ones that don't want to be stuck in random pictures. There are a couple of ladies here too. You may have seen Jules on the most recent video. However, as yet I've not been able to convince either of them that giving you guys their photo and a degree of creative freedom is a good thing. I can't think why.. 3
sonofsanta Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 Wait wait wait Next is Pete. Our resident Australian ...does he wear bright red cowboy boots? (EDIT: video embed doesn't seem to be working for me. If it's not working for you either, this is the video that should be above) 2
ICTDirect_Dave Posted December 3, 2018 Author Posted December 3, 2018 Wait wait wait ...does he wear bright red cowboy boots? (EDIT: video embed doesn't seem to be working for me. If it's not working for you either, this is the video that should be above) Alas no. His footwear is quite sensible.
Popular Post DJ-1701 Posted December 3, 2018 Popular Post Posted December 3, 2018 Originally Posted by DJ-1701 To help us all out with image editing... I quickly removed the backgrounds from the images. Click for larger images. [TABLE=class: cms_table, width: 500] [TR] [TD]AndyG[/TD] [TD]Dave[/TD] [TD]Johnny[/TD] [TD]SimonK[/TD] [TD]TT[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50933[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50935[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50936[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50937[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50938[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50939[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50940[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50941[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50942[/TD] [TD=align: center]Attachment 50943[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Update Note: At request, updated with just heads as well. Originally Posted by DJ-1701 Background removed and Head for JackM Attachment 51030 Attachment 51031 Again, to help out those creatives, background removed images and head images of our latest victims hard working staff. [TABLE=width: 500] [TR] [TD]BenC[/TD] [TD]SWT[/TD] [TD]MartinJ[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51154[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51156[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51158[/ATTACH][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51155[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51157[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51159[/ATTACH][/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] @DalekSec, could you please identify the subject which fired a paintball at your eyestalk. [TABLE=width: 500] [TR] [TD]AlexS[/TD] [TD]Pete[/TD] [TD]SamR[/TD] [TD]BobbyP[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center][/TD] [TD=align: center][/TD] [TD=align: center][/TD] [TD=align: center][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center][/TD] [TD=align: center][/TD] [TD=align: center][/TD] [TD=align: center][/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Also, the new lineup of faces. 5
LeMarchand Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 Next is Pete. Our resident Australian, Pete is our in house Magento expert Expert? He isn't even dressed properly for the job! Oh, hang on... 3
Katy Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 They are not children... they are MONSTERS! (don't know how to make the image not be tiny... click on it instead) 4
DJ-1701 Posted December 3, 2018 Posted December 3, 2018 They are not children... they are MONSTERS! [ATTACH=CONFIG]51298[/ATTACH] (don't know how to make the image not be tiny... click on it instead) Wow, and a HD image to boot? I bet Dave now has this set as his wallpaper. (and if he does, this should certainly be worth 2 or more bonus entries really) Hahaha, love it, excellent idea! 3
DalekSec Posted December 4, 2018 Posted December 4, 2018 @DalekSec, could you please identify the subject which fired a paintball at your eyestalk. [TABLE=width: 500] [TR] [TD]AlexS[/TD] [TD]Pete[/TD] [TD]SamR[/TD] [TD]BobbyP[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51289[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51290[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51292[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51291[/ATTACH][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51293[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51294[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51295[/ATTACH][/TD] [TD=align: center][ATTACH=CONFIG]51296[/ATTACH][/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Also, the new lineup of faces. -Sniffing- it was.... it was..... Bobby 2
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now