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April 1st Competition

GrumbleDook
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mac_shinobi

mac_shinobi

Posted
Posted
We've used a perl script to write messages to the printer LCD screens.

 

We are just trying to think of a message for the office printer to really freak them out.

 

make it choose random quotes every 5 seconds or so from a long list of quotes in a text file so it looks like the printer is trying to communicate with them ?

 

Short of that just make it come up with the message

 

I am over heating turn me off , NOW !!

 

like every 20 seconds or so

imullings

imullings

Posted
Posted

Volunteers Needed

We need volunteers to help look aft

er April.

http://folders.devizes.wilts.sch.uk/donkey1.jpg

 

April, the first donkey Devizes School has ever adopted needs student's and staff to look after her during school holidays and weekends. She is being donated to the school from the Trowbridge donkey sanctuary. She has a lovely temperament, loves children and attention.

 

Don't be fooled into thinking that this is an easy job. It will take lots of work and dedication from the lucky people chosen.

If you can help please contact -

Mr long JRL or Mr Herring CEH as soon as possible

Edu-IT

Edu-IT

Posted
Posted

Not really technology as such I don't think but it is somewhat related.

 

World of Warcraft: The Molten Core

Blizzard's World of Warcraft: The Molten Core Collector's Edition, also announced today, will include tinted cellophane TV overlays, further increasing the array of colors available to players. Additional Collector's Edition features, as well as details on the upcoming World of Warcraft: The Molten Core beta test, will be revealed closer to release. World of Warcraft: The Molten Core will initially be available for the Atari 2600 platform, with plans for additional console systems to be announced in the near future.

markwatkins

markwatkins

Posted
Posted

From: Paul Reisenfern, Director

Office of Health and Safety, Computer Division

 

To: All Computer Users

 

Date: 1 April 2008

 

As a result of recent studies carried out in cooperation with the National Science Foundation, we at OH&S have decided to ask for the cooperation of computer users throughout the world to assist us in alleviating two combined problems: a potential deterioration of the shells housing computer monitors and, while less immediate, a shortage of luminous electrons.

To explain how these problems arise, a bit of background is in order. Basically a monitor operates like a television screen. One or more "electron guns" fire luminous electrons toward the face of the display.

 

When these electrons hit, they release energy and illuminate a tiny spot on the screen, called a pixel. On average, each computer display requires approximately 500,000 pixels to compose an image; rather like the dots of ink that compose a photograph in the newspaper. Electromagnets control the path of these electron beams in the monitor, moving them around so that the entire face of the display screen is reached. These images are refreshed approximate 30 to 45 times per second which means that your monitor is consuming approximately 1 Billion (1,000,000,000) luminous electrons per minute.

 

Because the majority of these electrons are converted into lumens (light) which, eventually, returns to the universal etheric field, these luminous electrons are not actually consumed but are continuously recycled.

However, due to imperfections in the fabrication process, not all of the electrons actually reach the face of the display screen. Most of those that don't are deflected on their way through one of several "masks" inside the monitor, which are used to improve image sharpness. According to the OH&S study, these deflected luminous electrons accumulate inside the monitor and, over extended periods of time, can substantially weaken the structural integrity of the plastic monitor housing.

 

As for the eventual exhaustion of luminous electrons, while there is no evidence of any immediate lack of luminous electrons, the increasing world-wide dependence on computers and, therefore, on computer monitors does suggest that such the eventual depletion of such particles could, in time, become a critical international concern. While, at the present, early studies seem to indicate that particle depletion will not reach critical levels for several centuries, if nothing else, our past history of ecological deterioration and species loss suggests that early efforts directed toward conservation would not be inappropriate.

 

This brings us to the matter of cleaning up. The OH&S study has developed a protocol for safe cleaning of accumulated luminous electrons and their restoration to the universal etheric field. The necessary steps are quite easily accomplished as detailed following:

 

1. Turn the computer off and disconnect the monitor from the power source (that is: unplug it)

 

2. Start at the upper front portion of one side of the monitor. Using a gentle motion, repeatedly tap the side of the monitor, starting at the top and progressing toward the bottom. This should free any accumulated electrons, which will fall harmlessly to the bottom of the plastic housing.

 

3. Repeat step 2 for the opposite side of the monitor.

 

4. After thoroughly dislodging the accumulated luminous electrons, use a common vacuum cleaner (a hose and wand type) and apply the vacuum nozzle to the holes along the side of the case. This will vacuum out the accumulated luminous electron particles and, as a secondary benefit, will also help renew the vacuum in your vacuum tube (CRT) display.

 

5. At night, if possible, remove the dust bag from the vacuum cleaner and, taking the bag outside, scatter the accumulated luminous electrons to release them for return to the etheric field.

 

Note: laptop and portable computers and those using LCD monitors on desktop computer do not need to comply with this cleaning process. The technology used in LCD screens is quite different and is not vulnerable to deflected electron buildup.

 

According to our studies at OH&S, this process should be repeated every spring at around this time. Don't worry about remembering to do so, though – we'll forward these instructions to you again, next year, on or about April 1st.

 

Thank you for your cooperation,

 

Paul Reisenfern, Director

Office of Health and Safety, Computer Division.

 

P.S. Have a happy April 1st (a.k.a., the Feast of All Fools; a.k.a. April Fool’s Day)

Zoom7000

Zoom7000

Posted
Posted (edited)

Google and Virgin announce Mars expedition and colony

 

Project Virgle YouTube Page

 

Google and Virgin announce Mars expedition and colony

 

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. and LONDON, England (April 1st, 2008) – Google (NASDAQ: GOOG) and Virgin Group today announced the launch of Virgle Inc., a jointly owned and operated venture dedicated to the establishment of a human settlement on Mars.

 

"Some people are calling Virgle an 'interplanetary Noah's Ark,'" said Virgin Group President and Founder Sir Richard Branson, who conceived the new venture. "I'm one of them. It's a potentially remarkable business, but more than that, it's a glorious adventure. For me, Virgle evokes the spirit of explorers such as Christopher Columbus and Marco Polo, who set sail looking for the New World. I do hope we'll be a bit more efficient about actually finding it, though."

 

The Virgle 100 Year Plan's milestones will include Virgle Pioneer selection (2008-2010), the first manned journey to Mars (2016), a Virgle Inc. initial public offering to capitalize on the first manned journey to Mars (2016), the founding of the first permanent Martian municipality, Virgle City (2050), and the achievement of a truly self-sustaining Martian civilization with a population exceeding 100,000 (2108).

 

“Virgle is the ultimate application of a principle we’ve always believed at Google: that you can do well by doing good,” said Google co-founder Larry Page, who plans to share leadership of the new Martian civilization with Branson and Google co-founder Sergey Brin.

 

"We feel that ensuring the survival of the human race by helping it colonize a new planet is both a moral good in and of itself and also the most likely method of ensuring the survival of our best – okay, fine, only -- base of web search volume and advertising inventory,” Page added. “So, you know, it's, like, win-win."

 

The original contingent of Virgle Pioneers will be selected by numerous criteria, including an online questionnaire, video submission, personal accomplishments, expertise in scientific, artistic, sociological and/or political fields of endeavor, and inadequate Google and Virgin personal performance reviews.

 

About Google Inc.

Google's innovative search technologies connect millions of people around the world with information every day. Founded in 1998 by Stanford Ph.D. students Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google today is a top Web property in all major global markets. Google's targeted advertising program provides businesses of all sizes with measurable results, while enhancing the overall Web experience for users. Google is headquartered in Silicon Valley with offices throughout the Americas, Europe and Asia. For more information, visit Google.

 

About the Virgin Group

Virgin, a leading branded venture capital organisation, is one of the world's most recognised and respected brands. Conceived in 1970 by Sir Richard Branson, the Virgin Group has gone on to grow very successful businesses in sectors ranging from mobile telephony to transportation, travel, financial services, leisure, music, holidays, publishing and retailing. Virgin has created more than 200 branded companies worldwide, employing approximately 50,000 people, in 29 countries. Revenues around the world in 2007 exceeded £11.5 billion (approx. US$23 billion). For more information, visit Virgin.com - The global gateway to the Virgin Group.

 

Media Contacts:

Andrew Pederson

Google

650-450-9456

[email protected]

 

Virgin Group

Christine Choi

mail.virginusa.com

Edited by Zoom7000
GrumbleDook

GrumbleDook

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I know I posted the reply to this ... I am sure I did.

 

The best find goes to Geoff for the teacher's exploding head.

 

The best real example goes to TechMonkey and his fun and games that he had with printer messages.

 

Please PM me to select your prize.

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