unixman_again Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Computer: "Enter new password." Me: "Beef stew" Computer: "Sorry, not stroganoff" The World's most masculine name is 'Guy Chapman' as it's effectively 'Bloke Blokebloke'. Both courtesy of Sickipedia.org
unixman_again Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later. Courtesy of Sickipedia.org
HarryMonkey Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher 1
MrMat Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 What happened to the magic tractor? It turned into a field... 1
tech_guy Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Tesco - it's little things that make Christmas.... Yeah, Vietnamese kids in sweatshops....
TechMonkey Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Which is the stupidest animal in the Jungle? The Polar Bear!
BKGarry Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! -------------- Two elephants fall off a cliff Boom Boom!
VeryPC_Colin_M Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 (edited) A naked man runs past 3 old ladies sat on a park bench. 2 had a stroke. The other one couldn't reach. Edited April 10, 2015 by VeryPC_Colin_M spelling error
BKGarry Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate
BKGarry Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 How did the hamster die? It fell asleep behind the wheel
korifugi Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 What do you call a Dinosaur with no eyes? Idontthinkhesauraus What do you call a Fish with no eyes? Fsh What do you call a Dog with no eyes? Definitely not Spot. 1
peterp Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I don't like auto-correct, it makes me say things I didn't Nintendo. 1
SteveT Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 What do you call a Dinosaur with no eyes? Idontthinkhesauraus What do you call a Dinosaur with piles? Megasaurarse.
ConnorByrne Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I was browsing my internet for porn, and a picture came up saying chrome cannot open this page... They must of been stuck together! 1
LosOjos Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 [My SO's favourite joke] What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff! What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding it's breath!
pcstru Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 As he was dying my friend gave me his EpiPen, it seemed important to him that I have it.
korifugi Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 The Barman say "What can I get you" A time traveller walks into a bar.
peterp Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Time travellers convention: Meet here last Thursday.
featured_spectre Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Time travellers meet at the same time and same place every time.
dry Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I watched a documentary about ship building last night. Riveting. 1
Jawloms Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I've just got hold of a lorry load of flat batteries. They were free of charge.
spluckrose Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Why couldn't Robin play cricket Because he didn't have a BAT, MAN!
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