Tips to (not) get the most out of your IT department

[Lee_K_81]

On a side note, and kind of inline with another thread http://www.edugeek.net/index.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=13259&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 it is a good job jake is taking a bit of a sabatical with katem's profile pic. He'd be all over you like a rash!

[ZeroHour]

On a side note, and kind of inline with another thread http://www.edugeek.net/index.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=13259&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 it is a good job jake is taking a bit of a sabatical with katem's profile pic. He'd be all over you like a rash!

LOL, he locked himself in the cage with any luck

[TekkyMatt]

48) Please check that you have enough printer credits before you come screaming at me that every printer in the building is broken.

 

49)If the main server goes down please all tell me that you cant access your e-mails as this will be my new priority.

 

50)Please go out and buy the most expensive piece of crap software that the school budget can buy without consulting me, i'll be glad to take all of the blame for it's faults.

 

51)Please dont tell us that we "must have the best computer in the world at home" when you know exactly how much we get paid.

[elsiegee40]

52. Please tell us on a regular basis that you cannot logon onto the internet. It never works for anyone else on the staff either as they all have the school email system as their home page too.

 

PS Google is in Favorites > Search Engines and that logon screen you see is for the email, not dial-up

[richard.thomas]

53. Please wait untill 30 minutes before your presentation to ask us to make a PowerPoint with music. We have a library of every music track ever created, and never have anything better to do than make a PowerPoint file.

[Lee_K_81]

54. Please tell us 5 minutes after assembly starts that you need the PA System lighting rig, 20 mics. We all have the ability to bend time and space. Where'd you think they got the idea for Hiro Nakamura from.

 

55. Dont give any notice for anything. Ever. We have an unlimited supply of cameras discs, and any other paraphanalia you could ever need.

 

56. The server randomly changes peoples passwords so when you are convinced that you havent forgotten it, it's the server feeling a little bit vindictive.

 

57. Send a kid to fetch us with no more explanation than mrs smith needs you now. Being summoned like a slave does loads for our confidence and makes us want to come and help you.

 

58. dont check any wires on your laptops connection to the projector. Especially the VGA cable. They all carry huge voltages and you could get electrocuted. Best leave it to a professional.

[Halfmad]

57. Send a kid to fetch us with no more explanation than mrs smith needs you now. Being summoned like a slave does loads for our confidence and makes us want to come and help you.

 

58. dont check any wires on your laptops connection to the projector. Especially the VGA cable. They all carry huge voltages and you could get electrocuted. Best leave it to a professional.

 

I had both of those happen yesterday! 8O

[DevilsAdvocate]

57. Send a kid to fetch us with no more explanation than mrs smith needs you now. Being summoned like a slave does loads for our confidence and makes us want to come and help you.

 

I like this one. Happens atleast once a day!

 

Rob.

[intrigue]

I had to copy all these they are brilliant.

 

Thanks for wasting my time fo 5 minutes, god forbid the staff knew i had time to read something funny.

 

Matt

[witch]

59 Please come and moan at me because you can't get the internet on your laptop - DO tell me it is broken and DON'T under Any circumstances notice that you are logged on locally, not to the network.

[SYNACK]

60 Please do send me panicked emails about that urgent document you saved on your laptop at home that, for some reason hasn't appeared in your documents folder at school.

 

File synchronization works over telepathy and is routed by magic, honest. You can of course speed up that transfer by telling me about it in caps on your email. Or of course actually plugging the laptop into the network will fix it immediately.

[Halfmad]

61. Moved school or retired? Feel free to continue e-mailing me with your personal PC problems or better still drop buy one of my MP style surgeries that I hold in the local community centre on a tuesday evening (6:30-8:30) where I give advice to any Tom, Dick and Harry that has any question even vaguely I.T. related. Free scones and tea will be supplied.

[Hokalus]

62. If you accidently delete or save over an important piece of work, under no circumstances should you make use of the ‘previous versions’ tab in Windows

 

63. In the event of #62, please don't ask for a restore immediately, wait at least 3 months then run in demanding a restore 10 minutes before you need it.

 

64. Mashing the left mouse button over the SIMS.net icon is a sure-fire way to get it to load quicker, especially if it is running an update!

[joe90bass]

65. Please do call us to urgently fix a PC so that every pupil in the class you're babysitting can go online to play games, we love nothing more than urgently fixing PCs so they can be used for non-educational use...............

 

66. Please do then call us later on in the day to block a games site pupils spent ages finding in your class earlier in the day

[Lee_K_81]

similar to 64 but hey:

 

67: if a link on a webpage is taking it's time click it again, and again. The browser realises that you're in a hurry and makes it load faster.

 

68: Google is the internet. If for some reason you cant access google, dont try any other page. It isnt worth it. The whole thing will be down.

 

69: Yes please. (somebody had to say it!)

 

70: Got a problem with the crud software you bought. Dont worry we're experts at getting software designed for windows 3.1 to run on XP. If not we'll reprogram it for you.

 

71: Dont bother saving work. If you close the document and click no to save, we can get it back.

[Halfmad]

72. Feel free to store your personal MP3 collection on our expensive servers, we've got plenty of free space anyway and at least they'll be backed up for when you screw up your own PC.

 

73. My tools, sorry I meant "our" tools - feel free to borrow them at any time without asking, we're caring, sharing types - heck next time just borrow my car to go home.

 

74. Leave you're computer logged on, especially when there's pupils around - they can make sure that no dodgy types go near it and trash all of your data.

[joe90bass]

no 74 could be amended to read, ....... heck why not even let them go on your username! All those folders we secured for you aren't really that confidential anyay..........

[Lee_K_81]

not really about staff motivation but i'm running out now.

 

75: if you visit a site that no longer exists or get a page cannot be displayed error, make sure you click the back button first, before typing in a new url. Returning to a working page increases the likelyhood that your next page will work.

 

76: forget the address bar just type the exact address you want to go to in the google search bar. Then click on the sponsored link. Google needs money.

 

back to the main theme

 

77: if we forget something once, cant fix something, or make a mistake make sure you mention it EVERY time you see us. It reminds us that you are so much better than us.

 

78: Humiliate us infront of everybody in the staff room. We're only support staff we dont count.

[K.C.Leblanc]

79. We don't need the URL of the web site you want unfiltered. A rough description of what you typed into google to find it is all we need.

 

80. We're happy to help when you can't work out how to switch on the lights in your class room.

[mrdavies7]

81. Please ask us to get work off your Pen Drive because you haven’t got another copy it. Especially after you put it in the Wash and snapped it.

[ChrisH]

82. Please run out of the building in the morning asking for stuff even though we only have one leg off our Motor Bike/one leg out of our car. We enjoy starting work in the car park.

[Gerry]

#5 was missed: Please phone us for help anytime, even while we're on holiday snowboarding. It's all right, we can balance and hold our mobiles while travelling down a large mountain doing 50mph and help you with your problem accessing your Hotmail account. It's not just women who can multitask you know, we IT geeks are born like that.

[Guest Guest]

53. Please wait untill 30 minutes before your presentation to ask us to make a PowerPoint with music. We have a library of every music track ever created, and never have anything better to do than make a PowerPoint file.

 

God i get that alot! Whats worse is i get "oh just choose something you think is appropriate" when infact they mean "choose something I like. The kids love to listen to Bob Dylon and James Taylor"

[Andrew_C]

The kids love to listen to Bob Dylon and James Taylor"

If that had been Dylan (AKA Robert Zimmerman) I'd commend you for opening their ears to perhaps the best poet of the last century. Music with some real passion and meaning. Even if he "has a voice like sand and glue", according to another fine musician.

[richard.thomas]

Yeah I get the "Just choose something you think is appropriate". They always get a suprise when they're actually doing the presentation- because they haven't checked it first