stevejp

The going down bit I can cope with - no problem. May need some help with sitting up part of it, though...

I’m sure the families of the worst affected would be overjoyed to hear your opinion...

You know that technician who hasn’t been heard from since last week...?

I only carry two - one for the scorebox, and one for one of the umpires to carry - but there aren't many matches when they don't get used at some point. They were one of the first pieces of scoring kit that I invested in, and they've proved invaluable.

Bit like old Bill Stickers - they were trying to prosecute him for years!

I wish all umpires thought the same! To be fair, though, most of the Birmingham League ones nowadays are pretty good, although one or two of them still have - how shall I put it nicely - a rather inflated sense of self-importance? Comments like "I'm not carrying one of those new fangled gadgets just to make your life easier." are mercifully rarer these days when I suggest that one of them carries one of my two-way radios, but there are still a few who prioritise multiple copies of DLS over my tea...

Who on earth is he referring to?

Level three? Impressive! Doing my level 3 scorers course in two weeks. Will then be qualified to do multi-day matches - all I need to do then is find a multi-day match to score! Only another two months (plus a couple of weeks) to the start of the season!

Nah - it's only a flesh wound...

Obviously the work experience kid at the poster design place wasn't being properly supervised that day...

She didn't hear you locking and then unlocking the door, then?

You could always buy him a new sofa with ends that don't collapse when you lean on them...?

Usually plenty of bread (crumbs) inside the keyboard, though - along with various other 'things which might once have been edible'.

Some might say that being turned into a frog is a miracle all by itself...

Honestly, some people have no sense of adventure...

Isn't it embarrassing when you have to explain a joke...?

Perhaps if you were to actually give them the massage, they might stop calling so often...? (Well, someone had to say it... and if it hadn't been me, it would have been @mikeprice)

There are some images I'd really rather not think about...

Yes... But I was trying to resist the temptation of actually saying it...

Well, you can't say they hadn't warned you...

Especially those small pesky orange bits on each corner...

Not seen one of those before.

Yup - definitely just you...

Please may I make a plea for a little tolerance and understanding of the need (under certain circumstances) for a certain amount of file duplication? In my role as head of English there are many documents (policies, reading records etc) that I need to make available to staff, but where I also need to keep a copy in my own area just in case someone decides to make unauthorised changes. I can't keep them on a USB stick, external hard drive etc for security and GDPR reasons, but I do need to have the facility to be able to return to the original document.

Don't mind the babies so much - but could have done with some kind of ejection seat years ago for a screaming uncooperative toddler!