laserblazer

German unification after the Berlin Wall came down. It couldn't end before then because Germany didn't officially exist. Sadly, I can't take the time off either:(

A young girl started work in the local chemist shop and was naturally very shy about having to sell condoms to the general public. The owner was due to go on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own, so she had to confide her worries about selling contraceptives. "Look," he said, "My regular customers don’t ever ask for condoms; usually they just ask for a 310 [small], a 320[medium], or a 330[large]. The word condom is never actually used..." The first day was fine, but on the second day this black guy came into the shop, put out his hand and said, "Er, 350 please!" The girl immediately panicked, ran out of the shop and phoned the owner on his mobile to tell him of her predicament. "Go back in and check to see if he's got a yellow bucket hanging between his legs," the boss calmly told her. She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes!" she said, "He's got one hanging there!" "Right," said the boss, "Now go back in and give him £3.50... "He's the window cleaner!"

We stayed in a nice little cottage just north of Brid. within walking distance of the RSPB centre at Bempton Cliffs. So lots of puffins. Despite the forecasts, we were pretty lucky with the weather, it was cold at times but the rain didn't amount to much. Until the drive home that is. I've got a blinding headache from a 180 mile drive in heavy rain/spray.

Hills Electrical

Free Football Whiteboard Wallchart

If they tried that here the FA would slap a huge fine on the club, the players and ban the little boy for 30 years!

Chance would be a fine thing!

Can I recommend Laptop Battery, Laptop Charger, Laptop Repairs, Laptop Spares and Laptop Keyboard, Laptop DC Jack from Laptopbits.. £19 for a replacement keyboard and it arrived next day.

Just had a reply from Nissan.

I agree with you grumbledook but there are a lot of cases where drivers are tootling along concentrating on the road ahead and miss a speed limit. The warning is a reminder to them that they need to check their speed. The people that race up to the camera, break heavily and the accelerate away again are no-hopers!

The AA site recommends contacting the car manufacturer for advice if you have a fitted satnav. I've sent Nissan an email, so it will be iteresting to see if I get a reply.

This was discussed recently and someone said that it was due to a size mismatch between the plug and socket. Can anyone shed any light on this please. Is it possible to get plugs that fir correctly? The monitors are on adjustable stands and I think this is part of the problem.

The satnav is built into our car!

Oh, didn't think about that! Too late now, I've ordered a new keyboard and replaced the missing buttons on some teachers' laptops.

Guess which one? I've tried blasting some air into it in case it was debris but that was no good? Is there anything realistic I can try? Can anyone recommend a good supplier of Tosh spares?

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate." McTavish, Scotland" he says, "Discus" and in he walks. The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder." Waddington-Smythe, England" he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks. The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.“O'Malley, Ireland" he says, "Fencing."

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters "Too late pal, the paper-work's already done" Blessed be the Lord, Amen

Just got back from watching the Torch pass through the town. Loads of people and the number of police who have ever been here has doubled!

Our LEA provide different restrictions to some admin computers via IP addressing, so these are static. As are the Canon photocopiers and servers and the CCTV interfaces. When I first came here, everything was static because we had networked Acorns. It was a real pain!

In the light of my previous post about cool jobs, I'm looking at a dedicated cctv camera that can monitor pupils entering and leaving the toilets. Something simple that records to an memory card would be fine. Can anyone suggest something suitable please?

I just tell the staff to open SIMS.NET from All Programs after an update, rather than using a shortcut. I get the odd one who doesn't understand but on the whole, it works.

We have a pupil with a severe allergy to dairy products. By her emergency kit there's a list of foodstuffs that might contain dairy products, including - "non dairy products"

Who is he?

And my grandaughter has been chosen to meet her. She's very excited and so she should be. It's not every day you get to meet my grandaughter Queen will officially open The Hive | Worcester Standard

An hours worth of avi file is over 13GB, I don't see why Movie Maker would have a problem providing it can handle the format.