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London fire brigade outsources 999 control centre to Capita.


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Posted
"Sorry, the fire tender we sent out was actually a clown car with confetti in buckets. We will resend a real fire engine once we have worked out how this has happened. Alternatively if you can hold on we will send one out once we have updated the whole fleet.
Posted

Sorry, your telephone isn't running the latest version, please upgrade and try again... as your back starts to get warm.

 

Or, this is due to be fixed in the next release of Fireman 2.0

 

OOORRR... sorry, we can't connect you at this time, please log your call via websupport (which is what your phoning about as it's on fire.

Posted

"You have a fire? We'd be happy to attend site based on a day-rate basis, but your house must meet the list of pre-requisites I'm about to email across"

 

“….ooooooh, actually, you don’t appear to have a valid support contract with us – you will have to contact your local LA approved provider who will then have to escalate it to us first”

Posted

Here is a little bit more from the LFB re this: London Fire Brigade - Fire Authority votes to outsource 999 Control centre

 

Now as I have an interest in the Fire Service I have been watching this closely and this is a bad move. I have a friend who works in LFB control so I do feel for him. The control function of a Brigade should stay within a Brigade or do what Surrey F&RS and Isle of Wight have done and moved their control over to Surrey to provide a better service. The core function of a modern F&RS must be kept in house, when you start our sourcing like this they are just failing. Saying that it isn't the first time the LFB have out sourced things i.e. their Training and full fleet contract to AssetCo who are falling under.

 

They have just moved to a brand new building to host it all at Merton I think.

Posted (edited)

"Your fire has been handed to the Escalation team. You can expect a response within 72 hours".

 

 

Just had to double check the calendar. I thought today may have been April the 1st...

Edited by Rawns
  • Thanks 1
Posted

Capita 999(After 200 rings): Hello?

Caller: I need help, urgently!

Capita 999: Do you have a support contract?

Caller: A what? My house is on fire!

Capita 999: You should have a support agreement - a piece of paper with an agreement number on it.

Caller: It's in the house. The house is on fire. What do I do now?

Capita 999: Have you done a backup recently.....

Posted (edited)

Is it possible to SFTP fire?

 

What version is you fire?

 

Hold on.... is this the firewall that was blocking us last week????

Edited by creese
Posted

"I'm sorry, we can't respond to that fire because someone's on maternity leave and there's only one person covering that type of fire at the moment"

 

"Have you filled in a Fire Request? If you create one, other people on fire can vote for us to put out that fire..........if they can find it....."

Posted
This is my favourite bit "According to the London fire brigade, the contract will allow the service to focus on its core business of putting out fires and saving lives." you can't put the fire out unless you know about it!!
Posted
I hope Capita read this to see what we actually think about the level of service we GET from them for the vast amount of money paid for the support. When you look at the brilliant support you get from some companies (Smoothwall for example), Capita ends up a joke in a thread like this :)

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