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Rawns

By Rawns
in Jokes/Interweb Things

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Rawns

Rawns

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Quality! Pure quality!

 

The 1-star reviews are worth a read, on their own!

 

Shame I cannot give more rep for that find, Rawns!

 

Did not look at any 1 star reviews until I read you comment! They really are great! :D

tech_guy

tech_guy

Posted
Posted
PMSL at "For so long I've been limited in my meat choices due to inadequately sized foil. Well not any longer. Since discovering this foil I've branched out. Last Sunday we had swan, tonight I've got a couple of sheep wrapped and ready to wedge into the oven and tomorrow I'm going to raid the local zoo and steal me an ostrich...."
Dos_Box

Dos_Box

Posted
Posted
It is not perforated into individual sheets. It provides little if any absorbency. In use it causes lacerations, and has proven very difficult to flush away.

 

Overall, this is a very poor replacement product.

 

Pure class :)

CHR1S

CHR1S

Posted
Posted
I have seen many t-shirts in my time - almost five - but none have inspired me in quite the same way.

 

One wolf is a luxury; two, pure decadence; but three? 'Surely no man wields such a mighty chest as to be able to harness these averagely transferred beasts?' thought I. But if mine were such a chest then perhaps womenfolk might gaze upon me and say 'Oooh'.

 

Sweating, I began furiously hitting the keys to place an order (not from Amazon, mind), there was not a moment to lose. 'There must be a Large left! There must be!'

 

There was.

 

I powered through the rest of the order like a man possessed with the spirit of a man really trying to order something quickly. I whipped out my credit card, but was instantly struck cold with the realisation that this plastic friend was at his limit. I reached down for another card, but that was for my current account, and there were Albanian shell suit merchants that had more money than could be found there. A third attempt only produced a Tesco Clubcard in the name of Mrs Olga Legg. Very odd.

 

What was going on? Did God hate me? Why was I being presented with such majesty, only to have its miniature form mock me on this screen, with no hope of ever securing one of my very own? I was running out of options like Mrs Legg was running out of opportunities for discounted beans.

 

Then I remembered; my savings! I could prize the cash from there and still have enough to buy a small doughnut in 2017, interest rates permitting. Result! I hit the last few buttons like an insolent child. Finally, it was done. And then came the wait...

 

Four days passed. Five. Six, seven. 'There must be a problem. It's been too long.' The second T-shirtless week came around like an unwanted relative. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. 'What if I entered the wrong address?' No, I had already checked that. 'What if there were none left in stock?' No, they would have told me, surely. 'What if the Royal Mail sorting office had been taken over by squirrels, demanding equality for rodents?' Possibly just the wrong side of unlikely.

 

Suddenly, the doorbell went. Now I really was nervous. Only once before had I been so nervous about cotton-based goods, and that was just a baseball cap that had a picture of an indifferent tortoise on it. This time it was wolves. Howling wolves. Three of them. And a moon. And probably some brief washing instructions.

 

I ran to the door and flung it open. When the postman had finished soiling himself, he leant forward awkwardly to hand over the parcel, trying admirably not to empty the contents of his trousers on my porch. It was here!

 

I can honestly say I've never looked back. I don't wear anything else. Literally. Sure, I've been arrested in every major supermarket for being naked from the waist down and limited washing has meant that I smell faintly of mushroom, but the wolves are a greater power and I no longer recognise Earth's laws.

 

If you embrace nothing else in your life, dear reader, embrace this T-shirt. If you don't, small girls will laugh at you in the street, you'll be denied service at most leading fast-food outlets, and you'll almost certainly be refused entry to Butlins.

 

 

Epic lol

CESIL

CESIL

Posted
Posted
I misunderstood the description of the product as an 18" foil and was killed in a swordfight. Shame on you.

 

I really did lol drawing many stares from users of our library...

  • 1 year later...
SC92

SC92

Posted
Posted (edited)

"The dreams of my childhood have now been realised. When I wrap my naked body in this lush, extravagant foil I feel transformed, and I wander the streets, mostly at night, fighting crime. While my official position as a member of the police has been revoked as a direct result of these actions, my current life as a robot vigilante is far more rewarding. Dreams really can come true."

 

"I bought 10 rolls of this stuff, took all my clothes off and wrapped myself in it just so I could experience what it was like being a left-over chicken drumstick. I even sleep in the fridge every night just to add to the thrill and excitement."

 

What the..

Edited by SC92
Brucy

Brucy

Posted
Posted

Hahaha :- regarding a Hitler Portait from the list above

 

4.0 out of 5 stars Moving

This print certainly adds a certain feeling of gravitas to my child's bedroom.

 

I've knocked a star off as I initially thought that it was a picture of Barry Chuckle.

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