Best comments you've heard in the Tech Office...?

[Jawloms]

My Dad had someone who was convinced their fax machine wasn't working because they sent a fax and then exclaimed 'but it's still here!'.

[LiamH]

We have one of those teachers who thinks they are technical by spewing random stuff they have heard out. He tends to have an obsession with Windows ME of all things.

 

It is quite funny when he comes up the the office and says "there is a problem with ME (windows) it wont allow me to print from Microsoft (Office) I might need more gig (brains i'm guessing?)" Translations in brackets, and the problem normally is with him... like not selecting the correct printer

[Fatmas]

Oh my, I have a bunch of these from when I worked in the IT shop in Cardiff Uni:

 

A customer walks in, straight up to the network cables, points at one and says to me: "Is this one long enough?"

Me: "Long enough for what?"

 

Someone picked up two flash drives and asked me which one was heavier.

 

A customer asked me if the laptops we sold came with the internet.

 

 

I quickly discovered that most University students, not so hot with the common sense.

[korifugi]

My girlfriend has actually searched for the 'any' key - needless to say, my laughter was met with a stern glare and then a cushion chucked at my head

[Domino]

We have one of those teachers who thinks they are technical by spewing random stuff they have heard out. He tends to have an obsession with Windows ME of all things.

 

It is quite funny when he comes up the the office and says "there is a problem with ME (windows) it wont allow me to print from Microsoft (Office) I might need more gig (brains i'm guessing?)" Translations in brackets, and the problem normally is with him... like not selecting the correct printer

 

ARGH!

 

one of my pet hates is people who don't understand tech trying to talk tech..

 

I work in a software development firm - so we get a lot of it.

 

people coming into my office saying "is there a problem with the network?"

 

me:"...not that I'm aware of?"

them: "well my computer won't turn on so I thought you'd changed something"

 

*facepalm*

[Duane_Dibbley]

Teacher: My whiteboard isn't working with my laptop

Me: OK, let me have a look. You realise it isn't plugged in?

Teacher: Yeh, but I thought these laptops were wireless...

[mac_shinobi]

ARGH!

 

one of my pet hates is people who don't understand tech trying to talk tech..

 

I work in a software development firm - so we get a lot of it.

 

people coming into my office saying "is there a problem with the network?"

 

me:"...not that I'm aware of?"

them: "well my computer won't turn on so I thought you'd changed something"

 

*facepalm*

 

I have come across this a few times in relation to USB and they try to sound clever or just don't know what it stands for and hence muddle up the letters, had them telling me

 

"There is something wrong with the B.... U....S"

 

Instead of saying that there is something wrong with the USB or USB ports or my memory stick is not detected, basically something easier.

[MK-2]

I have come across this a few times in relation to USB and they try to sound clever or just don't know what it stands for and hence muddle up the letters, had them telling me

 

"There is something wrong with the B.... U....S"

 

Instead of saying that there is something wrong with the USB or USB ports or my memory stick is not detected, basically something easier.

 

we had a guy come in once, saying he needed a cable for his laptop to smartboard, said "oh yeah i need one of the VAG converters"

 

tongue biting ensued!!

[Rydra]

I've got an interesting problem going on here for the last ~6 months, that has mostly gone away now, but crops up every now and then.

 

All our new laptops (running Win 7) have a minor issue of when you plugin a VGA cable BEFORE you turn on the laptop, they would output to that and NOT the laptop's screen.

So teachers were coming in, connecting everything up, turn on the laptop and go about other things.... But not the projector. Cue them a couple minutes later coming back, and pressing power buttons and other buttons and all sorts because the screen is black, causing the laptop to be forceably restarted, go into repair mode, and the laptop become unuseable for 30 minutes.

 

I had this happen every morning for nearly 6 weeks, and of course every time it happened half an hour or more before i got in.

When I asked them not to power up in the morning and wait till I got in, it of course worked perfectly because they had in fact already used the laptop, turned on the projector or a dozen other reasons.

 

There's also the regular, every half term/ or new term or the occassional monday morning, someone would come in "My internet/wireless isn't working." And it's either turn the wireless on, or switch the proxy on.

 

I'd understand the new teacher, but when it's the guy who has been here for 10+ years.....

[stitch]

I had a good one yesterday. A member of staff came into our office with a purchased DVD film and 10 blank DVDs and asked us could we make 10 copies of the film, so that all the students in her class could have a copy to watch at home.

 

Needless to say, she was politely told where to go.

[MK-2]

I had a good one yesterday. A member of staff came into our office with a purchased DVD film and 10 blank DVDs and asked us could we make 10 copies of the film, so that all the students in her class could have a copy to watch at home.

 

Needless to say, she was politely told where to go.

 

i assume you told her to go to the staffroom, have a nice cup of tea and they will be ready in an hour.....IT IS YOUR JOB AFTER ALL!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

[Rydra]

i assume you told her to go to the staffroom, have a nice cup of tea and they will be ready in an hour.....IT IS YOUR JOB AFTER ALL!!!!!!!

 

 

I'd point out blank discs are available from the office by request, and that every laptop made in the last 4 odd years has come with a DVD-RW drive, while pointing out due to copyright you are unable to assist them in anyway. Then pop down to the SMT office to have a note added to briefing about copyright infringement....

[stitch]

i assume you told her to go to the staffroom, have a nice cup of tea and they will be ready in an hour.....IT IS YOUR JOB AFTER ALL!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Nope, cup of tea and staffroom were not in the sentence.

[stitch]

I'd point out blank discs are available from the office by request, and that every laptop made in the last 4 odd years has come with a DVD-RW drive, while pointing out due to copyright you are unable to assist them in anyway. Then pop down to the SMT office to have a note added to briefing about copyright infringement....

 

They all get told that we are unable to do this as it is copyright infringement and that it is breaking the law and that if they have a problem with it, to go and see the head which puts an end to the conversation.

[DSapseid]

not computer related but i was standing in the kitchen the last week when my sister was cooking her and her friend macaroni cheese (from scratch!) and her friend asked "If we dont put any cheese in will it still taste cheesy?" After i had picked myself up off the floor and dried my eyes from cryin with laughter she suddenly clicked what she had said and went bright red! If anyones curious, yes she is blonde

[Carter]

Can an admin or moderator change the topic title to "Best comments you've heard in the Tech Office!!" .... looks like this thread is taking off and would be a better fitting title :-)

 

Tks!!

 



[JJonas]

Just had a request for "iced water" I think they wanted the science technicians room.

[LiamH]

Been having intermittent internet issues this week. A member of staff genuinely said "oh I had a problem at home last week, I had to get a new dangle have you tried that?"

 

I'm guessing she meant a USB dongle for her wireless/3G connection. At least she was trying to be helpful I suppose.

[Domino]

Can an admin or moderator change the topic title to "Best comments you've heard in the Tech Office!!" .... looks like this thread is taking off and would be a better fitting title :-)

 

Tks!!

 



 

Done

[LosOjos]

New one overheard the other day - a member of staff couldn't send emails from her home address to her work address (talktalk filtered by LA), and her diagnosis?

 

"My phone line must be broken, I sent the email but it hasn't made it here, I must have a broken phone line"

 

I can just see it now, that lovely typed email leaking out of her telephone line on to the carpet.

[X-13]

I've had one teacher asking me to sort out her visualiser, as it wasn't projecting to the screen, and the cause of the problem was just the fact the AV cables weren't attached.

 

I had another almost in tears because her computer wasn't turning on when she had reports to do [which were late]... Turned out it wasn't plugged.

[2097]

heres a good one

 

teacher sits down inbetween 2 machines and loads up hes laptop starts doing work

 

teacher : my laptop isnt working and its frozen , i havent saved my work that i have been doing for the last hour

tech : ill have a look , moves mouse PAD on laptop ...looks fine to me

teacher: Teacher sits down holds the external mouse from the pc next to him trys and moves it . Sorry its still doing it !

 

Must say i have done it a few times with my servers .. But its quite funny

[webman]

One student was in our office earlier this week and thought our mini fridge was cool (wouldn't expect it to be warm!), and didn't know what Mad Cow's Disease was and thought we'd made the name up.

 

We also have small Unison stress pigs suspended from the ceiling with paper wings mounted on their backs (flying pigs!) which is an amusing topic of conversation (sometimes) to those who notice

[Rydra]

One student was in our office earlier this week and thought our mini fridge was cool (wouldn't expect it to be warm!), and didn't know what Mad Cow's Disease was and thought we'd made the name up.

 

We also have small Unison stress pigs suspended from the ceiling with paper wings mounted on their backs (flying pigs!) which is an amusing topic of conversation (sometimes) to those who notice

 

4 years ago I went to an RM conference and they gave away an RM teddybear to all attendee's.

For 3 years that bear was subjected to the evil doings of myself, the other techie and the Network manager....

 

Over the 3 years the bear was:

Crucified

Hung

Used rather inventively as the xmas tree angel

Archery Target practise

Body piercings

Door wedge

And eventually, it was hung from the ceiling with an arrow through it's chest...

 

Till one day a teacher rescued it and refused to return it (that might be because we threatened to finish it as a guy fawkes and set fire to it the day they pulled out the RM network). I miss that bear, and the RM network has since been removed

[SYNACK]

Till one day a teacher rescued it and refused to return it (that might be because we threatened to finish it as a guy fawkes and set fire to it the day they pulled out the RM network). I miss that bear, and the RM network has since been removed

 

I offered (the Principal) to buy the old Toshiba photocopier that we finally replaced from the school so I could treat it to a propper and deserved farewell of me burning it and posting the video on youtube. Unfourtunatly they sold it to someone else, I don't miss that copier though, not at all.