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Posted

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

 

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is

installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw

cash without leaving their vehicles.

 

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures

outlined below when accessing their accounts."

 

"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been

developed.

 

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

 

 

MALE PROCEDURE:

 

 

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

 

2. Put down your car window.

 

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

 

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

 

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

 

6. Put window up.

 

7. Drive off.

 

 

 

 

************ **********************************

 

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

 

 

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth!!!!

 

 

1. Drive up to cash machine.

 

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the

machine.

 

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

 

4. Find handbag, remove all contents

 

on to passenger seat to locate card.

 

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

 

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

 

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive

distance from the car.

 

8. Insert card.

 

9. Re-insert card the right way.

 

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside

back page.

 

11. Enter PIN.

 

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

 

13. Enter amount of cash required.

 

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

 

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

 

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

 

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of

checkbook.

 

18. Re-check makeup.

 

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

 

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

 

21. Retrieve card.

 

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot

provided!

 

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

 

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

 

25. Redial person on cell phone

 

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

 

27. Release Parking Brake.

Posted

Stewartknight:

Just a bit of fun

No more pointless than asking how tidy your server room is, where you wish you were or any of the other things like that on this forum.

OR posts about the Wii, men wearing skirts, sport and geeking etc etc, all of which you contributed to!

Posted
Instead of a Male v Female thread, we should have a Male + Female thread....now that would really be worth escaping my cage for !!!!
Posted
Interesting avatar, acrobson

A hero of yours?

 

 

 

enough, enough!

Must go and do some work

 

No, just it's along my line of work, network security and parasite prevention etc.

 

Now the ladies are atarting to get personal then, hum!

Posted
For most causes of death - rates are higher for men than women

 

If this is true then there must be one cause of death that women do pretty badly on - or a smaller % of women die at all when compared to men?

 

Perhaps the mystery cause of female death has something to do with falling from a great height on to sofa's - hence the need for the extra cusions!

Posted
If this is true then there must be one cause of death that women do pretty badly on

 

I believe it's called 'childbirth'.

Posted

"Women have boobs, they win",

 

Skoggmeiger, so does most of the management staff at my college and LEA, and they are all male. So explain that one!

Posted

So we could encourage them to remove their cusions from our sofa's and put them in various strategic places in their cars / along the road side then we could solve two problems at once!

 

I am sure someone would suggest using a rogue cusion in various ways to stop a woman talking - but not me!

Posted

I'm sure some women dont nagg and argue guys down. I'm yet to meet one though.......

 

 

*runs away from the hail of used 9 gig SCSI HDDs the girls are gonna start chucking*

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