[website] Make the Censors Watch 'Paint Drying'

[unixman_again]

Here's an interesting kickstarter which I've backed.

 

"The British Board of Film Classification (previously known as the British Board of Film Censors) was established in 1912 to ensure films remained free of indecorous dancing , references to controversial politics and men and women in bed together , amongst other perceived indiscretions.

 

Today, it continues to censor and in some cases ban films, while UK law ensures that, in effect, a film cannot be released in British cinemas without a BBFC certificate.

 

Each certificate costs around £1000 for a feature film of average length. For many independent filmmakers, such a large upfront can prove prohibitively expensive.

 

Luckily, there's a flipside to all of this: while filmmakers are required to pay the BBFC to certify their work, the BBFC are also required to sit through whatever we pay them to watch.

 

That's why I'm Kickstarting a BBFC certificate for my new film Paint Drying -- a single, unbroken shot of white paint drying on a brick wall. All the money raised by this campaign (minus Kickstarter's fees) will be put towards the cost of the certificate, so the final length of the film will be determined by how much money is raised here."

 

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/charlielyne/make-the-censors-watch-paint-drying

[Garacesh]

This is the most British middle finger to 'the man' I've ever heard of. I might pledge a fiver when I get home

[LeMarchand]

Blue (1993) ?

 

I'm not sure about this. Haven't they suffered enough? Woody Allen releases a film almost every year.

 

I don't have a problem with the BBFC; it's not as if the wait for the "uncensored" version on disc/VOD is long. My complaint would be that far too many films get a 12A that that aren't really suitable for some of the nippers I see in the cinema. A lot of this is down to the studios wanting to maximise their profits though. £1k doesn't seem too high a fee, either. Would have thought that a film that can't afford that isn't likely to be able to afford a wide distribution deal anyway.

[TechMonkey]

As much as I love the idea and sentiment, you don't think they won't put it on fast forward once they realise, it will be very obvious that the scene isn't changing. Or even enjoy watching while they do something else and being paid for it. He'd do better to title it "15 hidden genitalia and one rutting couple" and then film random street scenes. He can choose how many to actually put in (if at all) and then when it gets a report he can check whether they actually watched it or not. It would be more funny for it to get a an 18 or higher rating because of the genitalia only for there to be none in the film at all. Or go with the original idea but slip in a frame or 2 of something every once in a while, doesn't even have to be anything nasty but it will mean they will have to keep paying attention.

 

EDIt: In fact the cynic in me thinks this is a nice way for someone to make a fair chunk of money. People would be willing to chuck a fiver or a couple of quid at it for a laugh, not expect any tangible outcome to be delivered to them, it goes viral as a good joke and builds up money. He makes the film, not really any cost if he all ready has the equipment, submits it for the cost of £1000 and the rest is profit. Even if he is very nice and submits a film costing £2k. In fact if he just takes the money and says, no sorry they didn't accept my submission, no one has any recourse or even the inclination for a fiver.

 

But I may just be jaded and bitter.

Edited November 20, 2015 by TechMonkey

[Garacesh]

As much as I love the idea and sentiment, you don't think they won't put it on fast forward once they realise, it will be very obvious that the scene isn't changing. Or even enjoy watching while they do something else and being paid for it. He'd do better to title it "15 hidden genitalia and one rutting couple" and then film random street scenes. He can choose how many to actually put in (if at all) and then when it gets a report he can check whether they actually watched it or not. It would be more funny for it to get a an 18 or higher rating because of the genitalia only for there to be none in the film at all. Or go with the original idea but slip in a frame or 2 of something every once in a while, doesn't even have to be anything nasty but it will mean they will have to keep paying attention.

 

Valid points. There's an "Ask a question" button.. Someone with an account shout pitch the idea!

[unixman_again]

I've contacted the film maker and suggests he puts in 1 second of coprophagy, which the BBFC will insist on being cut to achieve a G rating. You can't add just any hard core porn - it has to be something on the BBFC "hit list".

[LeMarchand]

I've contacted the film maker and suggests he puts in 1 second of coprophagy, which the BBFC will insist on being cut to achieve a G rating. You can't add just any hard core porn - it has to be something on the BBFC "hit list".

 

Sounds like a s**t idea to me .

[JJonas]

Its now 7hrs 43 minutes long and counting

 

How long will 'Paint Drying' be?

[LeightonJames]

Oh. My. GOD!! This is possibly one of the funniest passive aggressive things i have ever seen.

[unixman_again]

Charlie said "Yesterday afternoon, I dropped off a DCP copy of Paint Drying at the BBFC's offices in Soho Square, ahead of its examination next Monday."

'Paint Drying' has been delivered to the BBFC

[Arthur]

PAINT DRYING | British Board of Film Classification

 

http://www.bbfc.co.uk/sites/default/files/styles/100x/public/certificate/BBFC_U_150px-height.png?itok=SJnBpcgW

[Garacesh]

GENRE(S) Documentary

 

If you insist..

[Arthur]

I thought the BBFCs description was quite funny.

 

Note: The following text may contain spoilers

 

PAINT DRYING is a film showing paint drying on a wall.

 

As if you couldn't tell from the title of the film.

Edited January 27, 2016 by Arthur

[TechMonkey]

Bit of a damp squib really. When you think about it, all this boils down to is that with everything going on in the world a man spooged over £5k, of other peoples money, to force 2 people to watch a white screen. These 2 people are paid to sit there anyway so I imagine all that happened was they went home exceptionally bored that day or got a really high score on . Give it a month and this will have been forgotten. Or, more likely, he will release a documentary on this caper, riding on the wave of publicity he has garnered, and make a hefty chunk of cash. Then a large group of backers will get the hump that someone has made a large amount off the back of their donation and demand a refund, everyone will get even more cynical about kickstarter and then move on and forget about the whole thing again.

 

I will of course take this all back if he suddenly releases that there was something subversive or interesting hidden in the film, but I doubt it.

[Andrew_C]

Nah; it was a light-hearted two fingers to "The Man". Everyone who bought in knew that.

[DJ-1701]

PAINT DRYING | British Board of Film Classification

 

What I want to know is, how come @Arthur seems to find these things before they even appear on the originating website... You haven't ever been to Gallifrey have you?

 

I thought the BBFCs description was quite funny.

 

Why did you have to spoil it for us?! I was going to watch that!

[unixman_again]

The result was posted on the Melon Farmers site last night. I guess Charlie has been out celebrating and hasn't had time to update the official site.

[DalekSec]

Should of included a 18 rated scene around 4 hours in, see if they actually watched it!

[unixman_again]

It's official

[korifugi]

Years from now it'll be seen as a daring artistic piece - showing the minimalistic depth of the human mind in todays society.

 

Groups will converge after Jazz club (Great!) to view it in black & white and spend hours discussing the true meaning behind such a groundbreaking piece of filmography.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And all us old gits'll just be saying "Nah, it was a dude trolling"

Edited January 28, 2016 by korifugi
grammar!

[DJ-1701]

And all us old gits'll just be saying "Nah, it was a dude trolling"

 

"Trol Ling? Oh, you mean that Never gonna give you up guy?"

[Garacesh]

The blank colour represents the artists' view of a homogeneous, boring society full of monotony.

The one drop of paint that slivers down the wall at 33:16 is a statement of his desire to break free of the mould and take his own path, though ultimately, the only path available is downwards due to gravity. This is to point out that though you can control your destiny to some degree, you will always be affected by outside forces.

The lack of audio is a sombre reminder that society should often listen more, instead of everybody trying to speak at once.

 

I could make this stuff up for days.

[DJ-1701]

The blank colour represents the artists' view of a homogeneous, boring society full of monotony.

The one drop of paint that slivers down the wall at 33:16 is a statement of his desire to break free of the mould and take his own path, though ultimately, the only path available is downwards due to gravity. This is to point out that though you can control your destiny to some degree, you will always be affected by outside forces.

The lack of audio is a sombre reminder that society should often listen more, instead of everybody trying to speak at once.

 

I could make this stuff up for days.

 

Guys... I have found the mole... @Garacesh obviously works in PR.

[LeightonJames]

Guys... I have found the mole... @Garacesh obviously works in PR.

 

You have it wrong, with that drivel he is clearly SLT.

[Garacesh]

Guys... I have found the mole... @Garacesh obviously works in PR.

 

You have it wrong, with that drivel he is clearly SLT.

 

Hang on, whoah, a light-hearted jab is one thing, but now you're just being downright offensive

*post reported*