Classic Phrases

[richard.thomas]

All our main ICT rooms lock automatically when the door is closed. You can only get in these rooms with a fob- Obviously this system isn't bullet proof. I especially like it when someone wedges the door open

[plock]

All our main ICT rooms lock automatically when the door is closed. You can only get in these rooms with a fob- Obviously this system isn't bullet proof. I especially like it when someone wedges the door open

 

How much was this to implement?

[richard.thomas]

I'm not sure, happened long before I started here. I don't think it was cheap though. This place are fob crazy, need one to get through all the external door and most ICT rooms, and internal doors at reception. So I imagine it'd have cost a pretty penny

[Sirbendy]

Our main access doors from outside are fob based..SLT have them.

 

We mere plebs have the access codes for the Keylex code locks on the lower door.

 

All our ICT suites have the external doors codelocked with a pushbutton system..works quite nicely, and if the kids find the code we can change it in 5 minutes now. We specified that as an integral part of building our suites (actually, we wanted electronic, but it was a tad too pricey at that point).

 

I used to work at Shropshire Council...virtually every door was keycard locked. Ace for running back and forth loaded with paper, as the doors would open in advance. Unless your card fell off or the battery died, in which case you ended up like a garfield toy against the mainframe room door..

[witch]

Today's classic phrase, or rather lack of it:

I told a teacher that he would need to list the software he wanted so that I could get the licences and he looked at me as if I was completely mad. I HAD TO EXPLAIN IT

THEN when the list arrived in my tray, I noted the other classic phrase:

"internet access please"

There isn't any in his rooms, and he knows it!

 

As for giving up - yes, I know that I am hitting my head against a brick wall but I must like it or something as I can't seem to stop!

[Pete10141748]

Has anyone any ideas of what to do? Notices? Warnings? What to say to teachers?

 

Depends on the school policy on notices. I only say that, as here I have been told that I am not allowed to put up ANY signs, posters, memos or warnings around the school and even in MY OFFICE. Yes, thats right! I have argued the fact that signs and notices are the best way to communicate with the masses (as we are in the middle of setting up email for everyone) but nope, apparantly they find my notices "offensive".

 

see what you think;

 

On my door, a sign which reads

 

Due to overuse, my printer is out of ink, and cannot be used by staff at this time. Please print in the staffroom or ICT Suite instead.

Thank you.

 

 

Would you find that offensive??

 

I even got told to take down my "please close this door behind you" sign!! So of course, everyone now leaves the door wide open......

 

 

Today's classic phrase;

 

Pupil comes to the door, opens it, says "Miss says come now" and walks off.

 

Nice.

[spiral]

A couple of my favs are

 

"the whiteboards not working" which usually means the projector is not switched on or is on the wrong channel.

 

Or "the sound is not working" Which is usually the phono cable is plugged into the microphone socket.

[ricki]

I love the one when they come in and say "If I press the button and what do you call it does not come up and so I cannot do the thingy." This is normally followed by "I dont know what machine it was on" or "in which room" and "How am I expected to know what program I was using" followed by "You know that problem" followed by "You doonnnnnntttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, why not" followed by "you dont know your job very well do you, any body would think you dont understand"

 

Lols

 

I wish sometimes I could record them and have a league table in the school of the most silly requests we have been asked for.

 

Another good one is your have to find a file that you created years before you started in the school of a senior member of staff. They dont know whats in it what it was called, who did it, but they did know it had a picture in it but have no idea what it was. You have to find it now and they dont have an example of it and if you dont find it now they will report you to a member of smt.

 

[Geoff]

"While you're here......."

[Domino]

" ahhhhh, just the man...."

 

sends a shiver down me spine every time

[PEO]

I'm firm but fair here. people know were they stand with me. as for notices. I put one up on the staff room board basically need to update all laptops, job must be done by last day of term. couple came to me today saying sorry i didnt have time to bring my laptop or i forgot.

 

my answer

 

to late, you will have to wait, as i have other jobs on now that have higher priority

 

[SteveB_NI]

"Just the man" is a common one here, alongside the usual "Whilst I see you", or "before I forget".

 

I nearly choked with laughter reading about the photocopier and the plank putting a whole ream, seal included, into the tray lol!

 

Today I had a call asking if my colleague was available, he wasn't, and then I was asked if I was free at the time... because I dared to say, sorry, I'm a little busy at the mo, the teacher grr'ed at me, and said "arrgh!".

 

I really should get a GPS tracker on my colleagues - I'm ALWAYS expected to know where they are at every point of every day!

[tech_guy]

This one always makes my eyes roll up into my head so just the whites are showing:

 

STAFF: "What do you think of the latest blah blah from Apple?

 

[substitute the name of whatever piece of cr@p Apple have just inflicted upon the idiotic Applefanboys in place of blah blah]

[Sirbendy]

"Just the man" is a common one here, alongside the usual "Whilst I see you", or "before I forget".

 

I nearly choked with laughter reading about the photocopier and the plank putting a whole ream, seal included, into the tray lol!

 

Today I had a call asking if my colleague was available, he wasn't, and then I was asked if I was free at the time... because I dared to say, sorry, I'm a little busy at the mo, the teacher grr'ed at me, and said "arrgh!".

 

I really should get a GPS tracker on my colleagues - I'm ALWAYS expected to know where they are at every point of every day!

 

I hear that one. We compromised on using walkie talkies that SMT had classed as "broken". (It's called "set them to the same channel", you bunch of wallies) One mine, one for NM, one in the office for the head of IT, and one in reception.

[jj76]

Hey I am new to the site, just reading through some of these posts, lol I get most of these on a daily basis too!

 

I had a funny request the other day, 2 Year 9 girls come in and go "Miss, we've got a picture of a horse and we need to print it out on a piece of wood and we don't know what to do!"

Hmm how about feeding a sheet of plywood through the printer, that will work.....

[ricki]

Its not such a silly request. You can burnt the image to wood if you have a laser cutter or print it onto a sticker and stick it onto the piece of wood.

 

Richard

[WithoutMotive]

I heard a good attempt today at avoiding saying, "I lost it".

 

I walked into the staffroom and someone said to me, "You know that sheet of paper with my username and password written on it? Well, I've put it somewhere safe but I can't seem to find it" - no, you lost it.

 

I'm sure if I read more into what was said to me, I can say that it was to avoid saying something along the lines of, "I'm sorry. It was my fault".

[mattx]

 

I walked into the staffroom

 

Steady on, let me stop you there - you walked into the staffroom when there were staff actually in it ? Are you mad man ????

I 'sneak' into our staffroom - normally just before break so I get at least one Choc hob nob, then its a quick boil of the kettle, make my coffee in record time and then OUT !! We have two doors so if I get a sniff of a teacher entering I'm out the other........ [ just kidding of course - or am I ? ]

[WithoutMotive]

haha - ok, ok.

 

I walked into the staffroom... after checking the number of staff members present. That equalled one so I assumed I was safe.