Andrew_C Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Yes, take THAT! You bl@@dy sp@mmer!When is someone going to invent a system whereby a report of a message being "Spam" results in the sender getting an electric shock? 1st offence 12v, rising by a volt for each report...
ninjabeaver Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Hah, I was just reading that and thinking WFT!!. Reported as well.
Sirbendy Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I can relate to all of those.. Our password changes are usually: "Surname?" "Louise.." "NO. SURname?" "Louise Smith.." "NO. NO. NO. Your SURname is your LAST name. If I say SURname, you answer SMITH..OK?" Yes, I'm THAT pedantic with them. Also..hmm... "Why is user X not in the system?" - usually down to us not being informed of their employment. "Bloxx is broken."..no, NSS is broken..Bloxx is fine. Or the site doesn't exist. "My SMARTBoard is broken" - 90% projector turned off, 10% board unplugged. My favourite? "We REALLY could do with some of these..." - Head of IT, duly ignored and ridiculed.
PEO Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 HT Hi Kev, can you take a quick look at the projector in the hall ME Yeah boss, what seems to be the problem? HT Its really yellow ME hmmm their watching the simpsons!
torledo Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 What are the classic phrases that you hear on a regular basis. Today i got 'Is the Network On?' when someone had not synchronized there offline files and was told they were disconnected. Also i have had 'My large white thingy on the wall is now only showing blue!' this thread should be very interesting!! A phrase i've heard a lot of recently is.... "How MUCH ???!!!!!!"
ICT_GUY Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 ok this is the one, it got the point across. http://aycu21.webshots.com/image/41500/2005458361308043396_rs.jpg
chalkwellstu Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 before christmas i was off for a day and a half with that flu thing. when i got back my desk was covered in post it's. i couldn't see my screen or most of desk. Barring two they all said in varying forms "Can't print to upstairs printer" "colour printer upstairs isn't working" etc .... i deleted the 700 pages that were queued waiting to print, went to said printer and loaded it with paper then went to get a cup of tea.
chalkwellstu Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 once back in my mainframe days i had an irate user ring up and shout down the phone at me "i keep getting the message 'No data has been input' what the hell does that mean? why can't you people make these messages more understandable?" i had to pass the phone to a colleague as i felt guffawing down the phone was very unprofessional. :D:D
maniac Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Let me see. There's the 'E-portal's down' ones. Note that's not a question, that's a teacher telling me that it's down. (when infact there's nothing wrong with it, they just havn't turned on their wireless on their laptop.) 'Is the internet down' is a common one, we don't get that many problems with it, but the sight of one 'page not found' message is enough for some. 'Urgent!!' How many times do I have to tell people, putting that word at the end of your ticket or e-mail does not make me do it any quicker. I prioritise my work, not you! 'I need . . . ' when infact it is not a need, it is a want. There's loads more, but these few are pretty common. Mike.
OutLawTorn Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 My favourite is when a student comes in: Student: i *lost* my password Standard Response: Where did you see it last?
ICT_GUY Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 My favourite is when a student comes in: Student: i *lost* my password Standard Response: Where did you see it last? LMFAO, the simple ones are the bes.
Sirbendy Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 before christmas i was off for a day and a half with that flu thing. when i got back my desk was covered in post it's. i couldn't see my screen or most of desk. Barring two they all said in varying forms "Can't print to upstairs printer" "colour printer upstairs isn't working" etc .... i deleted the 700 pages that were queued waiting to print, went to said printer and loaded it with paper then went to get a cup of tea. Yep..we both got that in here..we tell them to e-mail us problems so we can get them at home, and then VPN in and RAdmin to our machines/print servers and try to sort it via mail. You can do without coming back to that.. "The english printer won't print..".. Can we ping the Jetdirect? No. Why? Bloody english hippies have unplugged it so they could have the radio on..gah..
K.C.Leblanc Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 My favourite is when a student comes in: Student: i *lost* my password Standard Response: Where did you see it last? I once told a student that I'd reset his password to password and it would ask him to change it when he next logged on. He asked me if he could keep it as password so he didn't forget it. Sometime I tell them I've changed their pass to leonardnimoywastheonlymemberoftheoriginalstartrekcasttoappearinthepilotepisode.
chrbb Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I usually get small child appearing in suite with the words 'Miss said can you come straight away the smartboards gone funny' I have instant vision of smartboard holding court at front of class telling jokes and pulling faces. Small child never understands that if I say it to them!
witch Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Yesterday's classic: Spoken to the ICT co -ord when I was standing 2 feet away: "Can you tell the technician that the computers in the other suite are taking a long time to load...." So, she turned to me, smiled, and repeated EXACTLY what the person had just said. And then we both turned and walked away! Well, no one asked me to do anything about it, did they? (actually I knew why anyway)
mattx Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Had a call at the start of the week stating the computer was 'making funny noises' - thinking the HD or PSU was on its way out I started it and the fans kicked into action.... " Thats the noise !! " the teacher kindly pointed out. Hmmmmmmmmm.
tech_guy Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I once told a student that I'd reset his password to password and it would ask him to change it when he next logged on. He asked me if he could keep it as password so he didn't forget it. Sometime I tell them I've changed their pass to leonardnimoywastheonlymemberoftheoriginalstartrekcasttoappearinthepilotepisode. We charge £1 for a password reset. The students have a sticker in their planners with their username & password details which of course they bring to school with them everyday....
richard.thomas Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I'd love to charge money for reseting passwords... I'd be rich!
tech_guy Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 I'd love to charge money for reseting passwords... I'd be rich! How do you think we fund the pizzas we order on Friday lunchtimes?!
richard.thomas Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 That's legendary!! I'm telling my boss to get that sorted right away!
Geoff Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Our kids are particularly useless and forgetful, hence we get a Friday pub lunch rather than pizza.
tech_guy Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Our kids are particularly useless and forgetful, hence we get a Friday pub lunch rather than pizza. We're talking pizza for about a dozen people here.....
Geoff Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 We're talking pizza for about a dozen people here..... Our bar tab is usually about £50?
chrbb Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 Witch said "Can you tell the technician that the computers in the other suite are taking a long time to load...." Are you the technician with no name?
K.C.Leblanc Posted January 11, 2008 Posted January 11, 2008 We charge £1 for a password reset. The students have a sticker in their planners with their username & password details which of course they bring to school with them everyday.... We'd have made a fortune. One poor lad forgot his password atleast once a day for his first three months of secondary school.
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