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Posted

Whenever I get a packet of M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the sweet as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

 

Taking two sweets between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

 

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesised that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern sweet and snack-food world.

 

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a sweet that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the sweet extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

 

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

 

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

 

There can be only one!!

 

What worries me is i'm wondering if there is a preferred ambient temperature to conduct these experiments?

 

Alex

  • Thanks 1
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Man I haven't done that for ages! Used to be a pasttime when I was going to Cornwall with family for the two week holiday as a kid.

 

Gonna do it again next time I have a pack.

Posted

Reminds me of when I e-mailed heinz asking about the 'tomato ketchup tree' that they had featured in their latest adverts, and when was it going to be available. They wrote back saying there were no plans to mass produce the tomato ketchup tree as demand would be too great for it. :D

 

Also E-Mailed typhoo to complain that my latest batch of tea from them didn't have an 'ooo' with it, and could they please dispatch me some 'ooos' at the first available opportunity. No reply on that one.

 

E-mailed and written to loads of companies in the past making silly comments on their products, ocassionally you get freebies, ocassionally not, but it's all good fun particularly if you get someone at the other end with a sense of humour!

 

Mike.

  • 1 year later...
Posted
Reminds me of when I e-mailed heinz asking about the 'tomato ketchup tree' that they had featured in their latest adverts, and when was it going to be available. They wrote back saying there were no plans to mass produce the tomato ketchup tree as demand would be too great for it. :D

 

Also E-Mailed typhoo to complain that my latest batch of tea from them didn't have an 'ooo' with it, and could they please dispatch me some 'ooos' at the first available opportunity. No reply on that one.

 

E-mailed and written to loads of companies in the past making silly comments on their products, ocassionally you get freebies, ocassionally not, but it's all good fun particularly if you get someone at the other end with a sense of humour!

 

Mike.

 

That reminds me.......must email red bull to complain about those non-existent wings. :getmecoat:

 

What ketchup trees are these then ? Must have missed that particular ad campaign.

Posted
What I want to know is: does it work as well with Smarties?

 

Nicely volunteered, Witch! Not that a woman needs an excuse to buy chocolate ;)

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