Let's have an "idea shower" - 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

[elsiegee40]

BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

 

There are some that make my toes curl in this article, especially number 2 where a company has apparently banned brain-storm for its "negative connotations associated with fits" and is telling its employees to use idea shower instead!

[glennda]

BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

 

There are some that make my toes curl in this article, especially number 2 where a company has apparently banned brain-storm for its "negative connotations associated with fits" and is telling its employees to use idea shower instead!

 

I think not using the phrase brain storm was actually brought on by the epilepsy society (or similar i know i am probly wrong just don't know the actual name) many years ago to be all PC

 

They then decided about 2 years later they didn't mind the term!

[Arthur]

A phrase I hear a lot at school is "industry standard". Very popular with media studies and art.

 

Personally I ignore all the PC-speak.

[tech_guy]

Expect to hear 'Educational collateral damage' a lot in the coming weeks and months with regards to the spending cutbacks - I've been in two meetings this week where it's been used and already it's making me cringe. Edited November 5, 2010 by tech_guy

[witch]

I hate the backforming of words into verbs: 'conversate', 'auspiced', 'surveilled' etc.

Also anything that is more words than it needs to be: 'at this moment in time' - that would be 'Now'

 

Interesting that someone cites 'loop back' as a phrase used in office-speak.

 

 

mrwITch is constantly complaining about 'product evangelist' (he is one) and 'technical architect' which is a fairly meaningless phrase.

[MK-2]

as someone who hasn't washed in six years i find the term "idea shower" offensive, please stop using it

 

 

 

[elsiegee40]

I hate the backforming of words into verbs: 'conversate', 'auspiced', 'surveilled' etc.

Also anything that is more words than it needs to be: 'at this moment in time' - that would be 'Now'

 

Interesting that someone cites 'loop back' as a phrase used in office-speak.

 

mrwITch is constantly complaining about 'product evangelist' (he is one) and 'technical architect' which is a fairly meaningless phrase.

 

I agree with you absolutely regarding the conversion of nouns into verbs. I hate it!

[ButterflyMoon]

Another thing that hacks me off is the use of abbreviations in school meetings. Half the time am sitting there wondering the hell they are talking about!

[Disaster]

sales monkey: Hello, Bobby here, just thought I'd touch base, see if you need any thing....

me: WOT?...... *hangs up*

[dayzd]

One of our SMT is constantly reminding us to 'be mindful' of everything, which leads me to do a little Yoda impression in my head. Every. Single. Time.

"Be mindful of Teh Facebooks, young teaching staff!"

 

Something else which gets on my nerves, although not necessarily stupid office speak, is people who use the phrase 'many thanks'. To me, 'many thanks' is a lazy way of saying 'Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you...' emphatically over and over, which, if staff really said that, would seem out of place when all I've done is reset a password or something. There's no sense of scale (see this

on YouTube for clairification of the scale thing). I don't know why it irks me so much, but it does. Edited November 5, 2010 by dayzd

[MK-2]

Something else which gets on my nerves, although not necessarily stupid office speak, is people who use the phrase 'many thanks'. To me, 'many thanks' is a lazy way of saying 'Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you...' emphatically over and over, which, if staff really said that, would seem out of place when all I've done is reset a password or something. There's no sense of scale (see this

on YouTube for clairification of the scale thing). I don't know why it irks me so much, but it does.

 

i was going to thank this post, but screw you now

[mrbios]

I can't believe there are 50 things in a list and not once is the phrase "pro-active" mentioned

[TechMonkey]

I think these are all good ideas so if we can action the idea to eradicate them from our volcabulariums, then at the end of the day we can all be oral ambassadors. If we touch base after this is done we can run it up the flag pole, see who looks, end the game plan and move forward to a new challenge safe in the knowledge we've given 120.5%.

 

Many thanks

[tech_guy]

Wtf does 'combining synchronous practices to create a meritorious educational plutocracy' mean?! I just read it in a report. Ten minutes later I still can't work out what it means. It's bullmanure isn't it?!

[localzuk]

Wtf does 'combining synchronous practices to create a meritorious educational plutocracy' mean?! I just read it in a report. Ten minutes later I still can't work out what it means. It's bullmanure isn't it?!

 

I think the English translation would be along the lines of 'working together to make the school better'. Or something like that. Why can't these people just use normal language that everyone understands? Do complex words and phrases make them feel better as a person??

[localzuk]

I can't believe there are 50 things in a list and not once is the phrase "pro-active" mentioned

 

Because proactive is actually a useful word... Proactive network management for example - ie. preventing things from breaking rather than fire fighting and fixing breakages.

 

Proactive is a good word, so long as it is used correctly.

[mrbios]

Proactive is a good word, so long as it is used correctly.

 

Ahhh so that's where people around me are going wrong, when it's used 4 times in once sentence it becomes one of these things that you want to punch someone in the teeth over.

[Dos_Box]

I find it particularly irritating when in council meetings people who have never worked in the private sector in their lives use business speak. They generally get it wrong, out of context and look\sound awful when doing it.

[MK-2]

I find it particularly irritating when in council meetings people who have never worked in the private sector in their lives use business speak. They generally get it wrong, out of context and look\sound awful when doing it.

 

Classic example of them not thinking outside the box and just not blue sky thinking at all then? Someone needs to have some face-time with them and tell them they need to give 110%. Maybe you could touch base with them soon?

 

[Sirbendy]

Anyone on here play "Bullsh1t Bingo"? It's rather funny, and along these lines..

[Haptic]

Good article (although granularity got a mention 2/3 times...never heard that one) not sure why incentivise made the grade though?

 

I have a pet hate of any Brit uttering the 'step up/step up to the plate' or any other baseball/top ten dance craze movie of the week rubbish.

 

110% has also irked me hugely, I'm glad there are still enlightened people that grasp percentages!

 

Joe

[glennda]

"it will affect there learning" this one really gets on my nerves - normally after i have said i will not unblock a website!

[tech_guy]

"Adopting a holistic approach" is one that gets on my wick. I have a strange urge to murder the person who utters it in meetings.....

[36Degrees]

Anyone on here play "Bullsh1t Bingo"? It's rather funny, and along these lines..

 

Not recently but there were pre-prepared grids for some meetings when I was in the RAF! Only thing that kept you awake / sane...

[jamesb]

Since good ideas are often referred to as golden, what do you call an idea shower which actually produces good ideas?