One line story

[apoth0r]

"I gotta get me a piece of that" said Bob a.k.a Ed Balls

[bossman]

Then the old lady swallowed a cow, I don't know how she swallowed a cow, she swallowed the cow to catch the goat.

[tech_guy]

And then she did a mighty t**d that broke the toilet bowl and it was Steve Jobs....

[bossman]

After this the lady was feelin hungry so she swallowed a horse, she died of course, through swallowing the horse but she swallowed the horse to catch the cow and she swallowed the cow to catch the goat, she just opened her throat and swallowed the goat.

[tech_guy]

"Where am I?!", cried Steve Jobs, looking all around him. The old lady hit him with a Dell.

[webman]

And with the single blow from the Dell, Jobs hit the cold, hard ground with a thud. He did not get up.

[apoth0r]

Bob struggled to sleep that night, his mind was aflutter with all the bizarre events of the day....

[webman]

Because, after all, it was the 9th of the 9th Oh-Nine...

[bossman]

My name is Quasimodo said Steve Jobs as the impact had rendered him senseless and also given him a huge lump on his back.

[bossman]

Looking around his memory returned and he uttered "that laptop rings a Dell" Doh!

[webman]

But, it turns out he was only just taking the Michael.

[tech_guy]

Then Gordon Brown appeared, clutching a Banker by his bonuses, and said, ".............

[pete]

"...how do you like them apples?" "Oops, too hard.......er them grapes?"

[tech_guy]

All of a sudden, there was a terrible rumbling noise, the ground shook, and babies cried in their prams. It was.........

[azrael78]

A large talking raspberry who stated that today was...

[SPC]

the day the music died... bye bye miss american pie thought Bob

[tech_guy]

Maxwell, as he fell overboard his yacht, clutching a plastic statue of Wurzel Gummage.

[SPC]

Then the plastic statue or Wurzel came to life as some of the life giving dust had fallen on it and it started to talk 'Sir. Good evening, sir. That's what you should say, me being older than you.' said Wurzel

[azrael78]

'I also find I really like hardcore Rave - how about you Bob?' - said Wurzel.

Bob took time before replying, but finally - he spoke...

[webman]

Rave is simply a car alarm to an electronicaly-generated beat. After listening to it I feel the urge to rinse my ears with bleach.

[john]

but as well as his ears he did his hair and eyebrows so now has neon-yellow hair and eyebrows....

[tech_guy]

...then Kate Melua appeared, warbling, "there's a million defecating monkeys in Azerbaijan....", whilst being dragged through a hedge backwards.....

[webman]

Emerging on the other side of the hedge, her appearance resembled that of Amy Wineohouse.

[tech_guy]

made of lego....

[webman]

which everybody agreed was a great improvement.