tech_guy Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I am needing some original pithy, astute, topical comments / observations about life in the UK and current affairs, etc! I need 60 but have only come up with around 30 so far. Can I call upon the noble edugeekers to furnish me with their examples of dry wit?! They don't have to be IT related and must be short and concise! The best ones will get some beer & that's a promise! Darrell.
Andrew_C Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I will not enter into a battle of wits with someone so obviously unarmed.
Midget Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
TwoZeroAlpha Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Maybe some examples of what you've got already? Just to point us in the right sort of direction?
Diello Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
tom_newton Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 "I like working for a small company - the percentage of idiots is the same, but you can keep their names on a sheet of A4" (Thanks to my brother, Will, for that one) 1
bossman Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 @tech_guy: "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think." "I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them." “The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it.” “There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.” “It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste.” Are these of use? 3
GrumbleDook Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 From my old RSM There are 3 things I do to idiots. I can ignore them, knowing that one day they will either realise that they need to change or they will leave me alone; I can kill them, knowing that the years in prison will at least give me time away from meeting fresh idiots; or I can join them, but be a better idiot than them so they will eventually shun me. However, I am talking to you, in a sane an coherent manner, and I am presently holding a hammer. Do you need any assistance in guessing my preferred option at this time?
bossman Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 And more................... "It is sufficient to predict the present." "Information, like wine, has traditionally been stored in bottles, and as soon as it is freed of those bottles we can examine what it really is." "We are going somewhere we cannot even take our bodies; going there, we should also not take our preconceived notions of property." "Cyberspace develops at a rate completely discontinuous with law; law develops at a rate second only to geology." "With introduction of the Internet, we will not have government as we have known it." "Information is alienated experience" "Start looking at the Internet as an ecology." "Carbon-based life is just a prosthesis for what really lives." 1
bossman Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 and yet more............. "The driving economic force of the 21st century will be the act of creation itself." "The oldest pathway for which the brain is hardwired is the narrative." "Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative." "Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea." "I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here." "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with." "If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?" "I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected." "The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value." "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." "I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect." "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?" I like this game :) 1
maniac Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 "There are 3 kinds of lies: Lies, Damned lies and Statistics."
webman Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Whatever hits the fan may not be distributed evenly.
tom_newton Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 "There are 3 kinds of lies: Lies, Damned lies and Statistics." “Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.” -Aaron Levenstein
tech_guy Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Hi, EduLinguists! Does this say hello in Russian? здравствулте! Does this say good afternoon in Japanese? こんにちは Does this say hello in Greek? γειά σου Many thanks! Don't want to put signs up that mean something else!!!!!
bossman Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 @tech_guy: No No No "Today" is what it roughly translates in to........
timzim Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I have this on my office wall and gladly point it out when I'm invited to one: "Rome did not create an empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all who opposed them."
BatchFile Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Hi, EduLinguists! Does this say hello in Greek? γειά σου Yes, informally, kind of "Hi!" pronounced "yiasou" cant help you with the other two I'm afraid
witch Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Heard most of them except this one: If all is not lost, where is it? love it! Otherwise, see sig if no one has already said it
enjay Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Before having an argument with someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when the fight starts, you'll be a mile away. And have their shoes. A common mistake when designing something completely idiot proof is to under-estimate the ingenuity of a complete idiot. 1
laserblazer Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard 1
mediatechnologist Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 (edited) Your Lack of forethought does not constitute an emergency on my part Edited July 14, 2009 by mediatechnologist
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