mattx Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread, If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread. 1
elsiegee40 Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread, If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread. That one's as old as you are Matt
sparkeh Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 ['hip','hip'] (hip hip array!) Brilliant. Ok how about this chestnut Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
fiza Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread, If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread. You mean to tell me a programmer actually ventured outside??? I thought they remained hunched over their terminals 24/7
Gatt Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 You mean to tell me a programmer actually ventured outside??? I thought they remained hunched over their terminals 24/7 He didn't they "ran" a browser session and went to the likes of Tesco.com and had a look
Jawloms Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Those are as old and as bad as "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that don't". I believe it's in someone's signature isn't it....?
sparkeh Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Those are as old and as bad as "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that don't". I believe it's in someone's signature isn't it....? Hey that's a classic And it was removed from my sig years ago...
JJonas Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"* "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
sparkeh Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Those are as old and as bad as "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that don't". I believe it's in someone's signature isn't it....? Ok is this better? There are two types of people in this world: those who understand recursion and those who don’t understand that there are two types of people in this world:
sparkeh Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Oh someone once said to me "Knock Knock" "Who's there" "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Java"
mac_shinobi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Oh someone once said to me "Knock Knock" "Who's there" "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Java" Dunno about the first bit but a coffee sounds great right now !!
mac_shinobi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Really? I thought it was DIM The joke or to declare the variable ?
JJonas Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 A Microsoft dev is walking down a walking path on campus when he hears a frog say, “If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful woman. We can get married, and I will be your loving wife forever”. The geek and the frog stare at each other for a bit, and then he picks up the frog and gently places her in his front pocket. The frog sticks her head out and says “aren’t you going to kiss me?” “No” says the dev, “I work for Microsoft, I don’t have time for a wife – but a talking frog is really cool!”
JJonas Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question: “You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?” Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, “Why would you stay on?” The tenth said, “if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash.” 1
mac_shinobi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 (edited) I was leaving that for you to figure out No Option Explicit so variable declaration doesn't matter too much lol, then again....... Edited June 28, 2013 by mac_shinobi
elsiegee40 Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It's a hardware problem.
CyberNerd Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that don't". I heard it went: "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that get sex on a regular basis
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