StevieM

Tee-hee! That's the way to do it. The next training mission was something about managing heat and signatures. I didn't even know what that meant (or how to do it!) so I thought, 'Sometimes the best way to learn is on the job. Let's just play!' I can always go back to the training later. Could really do with some instructions, though.

Look at you, acting all nonchalant. 'Oh, did I win something... 3 weeks ago?!' Get with the programme, @Bradlys!

Welcome aboard, O Tower of Ross!

Does this mean you've now completed all the training missions reliably since yesterday? I really do ultra-suck at this.

Decided to go into open play, just to see what happens. Been interdicted a couple of times when I was just about to come out of super-cruise and thrown way back, but no-one has attacked me...yet! I can just go back to the last save point if I get blown up though, right? What I'm having trouble with is shooting at a fast-moving target! The only controls I'm using then are pitch, roll, thrust and fire! Should I be doing something else too? Now THAT is impressive. I'll borrow one of the broken cheap mics from school and give it a go. 5 or 6??!! I tried at least 50 or 60 times before I managed to destroy the Sidewinder. If I followed your example, it really would the year 3300 before I got to play the game properly! That said, I did manage, finally, to destroy the Cobra in the wolf attack scenario at silly o'clock this morning.

Oh, the irony! Just when @VeryPC Al tries to reign in the ensuing double entendres, closed captions comes up with this... followed by something about a family pre-war !

Bet you I can beat you in those stakes. I'm starting to remember why it is I don't play computer games! Now the autist in me is telling me that I need to complete each of the tutorials and training missions in order before I can move on to the game proper, but I'm just getting so bored of being blown up by that Cobra in training mission 2, that I'm just going to have a go in single player mode and try to avoid getting into any fights.

You can save a quid or so on the Thrustmaster here - Thrustmaster T-flight Hotas X Joystick - 4160543 - CCL Computers I paid £34.98 including delivery and it arrived within 48 hours.

Still working my way through the tutorials and training missions. I've managed to destroy the sidewinder twice out of about 50 tries, and got the Cobra down to 1% before getting blown away for the umpteenth time! It'll be months before I'm good enough to play the actual game at this rate. That said, it looks and sounds great hooked up to my 42" TV and 7.1 surround AV receiver!

Uh-oh!! Who you gonna call?

I had a quick look on my phone last night and I could see them ok then (full site not app) but this morning, they're gone! I call... SABOTAGE!!! *Suitable for work version with sweary bits muffled out. Not that it matters, it's half term! Edit: Good work, by the way, @mac_shinobi

Finally managed to have a go this afternoon. Finding it really difficult but I'm sure I'll get better once I've figured out how the controls work. There must be a flight manual somewhere!

Cool! Socktober Easter Eggs!

What a palaver! Tried to download the beta yesterday, but the shop was 'being updated'. Managed to access it later in the evening when it was back online, though. I click to launch the program and get a message saying that I need to install .NET 3.5 - only it can't connect (possibly due to updates being managed by WSUS). Try to enable it through control panel, but have the same problem. Spend AGES searching for solutions to the problem and end up having to download the entire Window 8.1 Enterprise installation media from VLSC, mounting the iso, and enabling it through DISM at command prompt. So, now I can launch the program... only when I log in, it asks me to enter a verification code it has sent by email, which took over an hour to arrive! I finally got access to the game at half-past midnight, but by this time I was about to collapse from nervous exhaustion so I shut down the machine and went to bed. And I thought it used to take ages to load the original Elite from a tape!

Count yourself lucky. I've never been pulled from the chassis... ever! (Although I did once have the privilege of doing the pulling during PADMay.)

@mac_shinobi @sparkeh How many missuses have you got??!! Sparkeh the polygamous love guru - what a great name for a comic-strip character.

Sadly, no but I think our school should employ some extra admin staff just so we can buy them a new computer each.

I bought some of these through the LEA for our admin staff a few years ago and they love them! Can't remember the exact price, but I'm sure they were £800+ and that was without touchscreen. Absolute baaaaaargain at £395!

Hahahahaha! I was waiting for that. It can hardly be called a 'selfie' if you're not in it yourself. It would just be a... a... 'sockie'.

I know! I'm starting to worry myself a little.

Just received notification that my Thrustmaster has been dispatched and should arrive tomorrow. Wish I'd arranged for it to be sent to school now, but I didn't think I'd get until next week when it's half-term. Oh, well.

Yours may be the longest, but can you use it effectively?

Verily, I desirest muchly, although 'tis written, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours scribing implements".

That's a mighty fine looking piece of equipment you have there, @Gonk. Mine ain't as purty, but at least it's green... even though it's blue. I normally use my fingers... and my toes if it's a big number.

With your pencil (as challenged by another of your dear customers *ahem*) Go on then, @Gonk. You first.