Students taking you *too* literally

[sonofsanta]

This made me laugh yesterday.

 

As with all schools, students here inevitably share accounts, despite any AUP telling them not to and my constant remonstrations about the dangers therein. With the increasing use of the VLE (with SSO) and LanSchool, though, we're starting to spot more miscreants. Pulled a pair of Year 10's up for sharing an account earlier this week and had the following conversation

 

"Why were you sharing accounts?"

"Mr Wotsit told us to"

"Why would he do that?"

"My account wasn't working in a lesson so he told me to share Thingy's account."

"When was that?"

"Year 7"

 

For over 3 years, two students have been sharing an account because they were told to for one lesson when one program didn't work. Back on the old CC3 system that's been out for over 2 years.

 

 

As someone else in my office said, it's a good job no-one ever told them to dig a hole.

 

So! Any interesting tales of students taking your words to heart a little too closely? It's a grim and grey Thursday and I could do with some laughter to cheer my day.

[X-13]

So! Any interesting tales of students taking your words to heart a little too closely? It's a grim and grey Thursday and I could do with some laughter to cheer my day.

 

My words, if taken literally, would result in a nice holiday at Her Majesty's pleasure.

 

But, I did encounter a pupil giving an over-the-top response to someone misusing the word "literally".

 

 

"I, like, literally died when [some non fatal thing] happened"

"OMG! ZOMBIE!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!"

[sonofsanta]

My words, if taken literally, would result in a nice holiday at Her Majesty's pleasure.

 

But, I did encounter a pupil giving an over-the-top response to someone misusing the word "literally".

 

 

"I, like, literally died when [some non fatal thing] happened"

"OMG! ZOMBIE!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!"

 

I do have distinct issues with the abuse of the word "literally". One of the Freeview shopping channels announced the other day that "you need to be quick ordering the item as the boxes are literally flying off the shelves". Which would have been an incredible sight, but the cameraman didn't think to turn round and show me the beautiful cardboard formations swooping through the air, sadly

[Oaktech]

I try to avoid talking to the students in case they misinterpret my often idiosyncratic speech patterns. I find grunting and pointing works well, they seem to relate to it as their own language.

[X-13]

I try to avoid talking to the students in case they misinterpret my often idiosyncratic speech patterns.

 

I try to avoid it because A) I'm not good with people... and B) they generally say something stupid and my natural response would be "Do you want a slap?"

[Oaktech]

Apparently responding to a hysterical sixth former who has lost her work, with a dead pan "well thats sub-optimal isn't it" is not helpful. I must add that i did go on to solve her problem with a backup tape!

[quietriot1983]

I do have distinct issues with the abuse of the word "literally". One of the Freeview shopping channels announced the other day that "you need to be quick ordering the item as the boxes are literally flying off the shelves". Which would have been an incredible sight, but the cameraman didn't think to turn round and show me the beautiful cardboard formations swooping through the air, sadly

 

We literally have Jamie Redknapp to thank for that, who literally uses the word 'literally' in every sentence. Literally.

 

[localzuk]

The kids here mostly seem to lack any sense of humour! Or at least, they don't get dry humour and sarcasm. Ruins my fun when they come in with a silly request and my quip goes ignored.

[Earthling]

I try to avoid talking to the students in case they misinterpret my often idiosyncratic speech patterns. I find grunting and pointing works well, they seem to relate to it as their own language.

 

+1 Nuff said.

[difinity]

What it means when you say "literally" - The Oatmeal

[creese]

What it means when you say "literally" - The Oatmeal

 

Manager said the other day about someone he knows, I literally went through the rugby club with them...

 

I pictured this

 

[X-13]

What it means when you say "literally" - The Oatmeal

 

Lol. That's awesome.

 

Shame it costs so much... [well, so much for what it is.]

[pete]

But, I did encounter a pupil giving an over-the-top response to someone misusing the word "literally".

 

"I, like, literally died when [some non fatal thing] happened"

"OMG! ZOMBIE!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!"

 

I'd be more concerned about the student who, in a zombie survival situation, thinks it's appropriate to upgrade the zombies to Fire Zombies.

[MK-2]

I'd be more concerned about the student who, in a zombie survival situation, thinks it's appropriate to upgrade the zombies to Fire Zombies.

 

A very good point, kids these days not knowing the "go for the head" option!

[Guest TheLibrarian]

What it means when you say "literally" - The Oatmeal

 

I literally want to rep this post more than once because it made me llol.

[X-13]

I'd be more concerned about the student who, in a zombie survival situation, thinks it's appropriate to upgrade the zombies to Fire Zombies.

 

This was before Zombie awareness day and the Zombie survival masterclass.

 

Needless to say, we now have a procedure in place which students are aware of.

[Rydra]

I was helping at cubs this week, and we got the kids playing a game of wink murder. One of the adults picked someone to be the detective, and told him "since you were talking, you just volunteered to go clean the toilets." Another leader, not wanting to miss out on the joke pipped in "Start with the ladies, the cubicle on the right."

 

So a leader led them out the hall, and came in 1 minute later laughing..... The cub had actually gone, got the toilet brush and started scrubbing the toilet!!!

 

I think we need to lobby for them to alter the early years curriculum.

 

The focus should now be English, Maths, Science and Sarcasm.

[Oaktech]

I was helping at cubs this week, and we got the kids playing a game of wink murder. One of the adults picked someone to be the detective, and told him "since you were talking, you just volunteered to go clean the toilets." Another leader, not wanting to miss out on the joke pipped in "Start with the ladies, the cubicle on the right."

 

So a leader led them out the hall, and came in 1 minute later laughing..... The cub had actually gone, got the toilet brush and started scrubbing the toilet!!!

 

I think we need to lobby for them to alter the early years curriculum.

 

The focus should now be English, Maths, Science and Sarcasm.

 

what? you didn't just let them carry on? This is character forming stuff! My Missus' uses cleaning the loos/kitchen/sweeping up as a standard discipline with her brownies if they wind her up!

[pete]

Another leader, not wanting to miss out on the joke pipped in "Start with the ladies, the cubicle on the right."

 

You realise that's going to scar them for life?

 

"What did you learn at cubs son?"

"I learned that women absolutely destroy toilets, Dad."

[X-13]

You realise that's going to scar them for life?

 

"What did you learn at cubs son?"

"I learned that women absolutely destroy toilets, Dad."

 

The next day

"Son, let me show you something. This is the mens toilet at the pub."

(X_X)

[elsiegee40]

You realise that's going to scar them for life?

 

"What did you learn at cubs son?"

"I learned that women absolutely destroy toilets, Dad."

 

The next day

"Son, let me show you something. This is the mens toilet at the pub."

(X_X)

 

In these modern times, girls can be cubs too, you know!

[X-13]

In these modern times, girls can be cubs too, you know!

 

http://drawitchan.org/sticks/CerealSpitting.png

[kernewek-sam]

I must add that i did go on to solve her problem with a backup tape!

 

You're not allowed to hit them