[joke] Santa is in breach of GDPR and much more!

[Sonic007]

Santa receives lots of letters from children every year.

 

This is a lot of personal data to be dealing with. On a legal bassis how is this data processed?

Does Santa have a data retention policy?

 

He is constantly monitoring kids to see if they are naughty or nice? Sounds like stalking.

Has Santa had a DBS check?

 

Is his grotto secure and are the elves certified to be dealing with all this sensitive information?

 

Santa also uses the data from childrens letters to track down houses. Is he legally allowed to do this?

We've not even mentioned the fact that entering via the chimney could cause criminal damage and would be classed as breaking and entering.

 

Furthermore is his sleigh approved to fly by the FAA and has he filed a flight plan?

 

The reindeer will be working a very long shift and as workers will have rights to lunch breaks.

Pulling a sleigh loaded with enough presents for atleast one present per child will make this a very heavy sleigh.

Under "Manual Handling" they need to be careful with weight distribution and how they handle things.

 

Santa would also be likely to get fined for speeding as he has 24 hours to reach every home.

He would have to travel at supersonic speeds to reach every home, go down the chimney, put out the presents, eat a mince pie, and go on to the next house.

Seeing that some people also put out a glass of sherry for Santa we can assume that he would also be driving under the influence of alcohol and suffer from diabetes due to constant eating of mince pies.

 

 

It's not looking good!

Edited December 13, 2018 by Sonic007

[TTG_Alice]

[jmak]

'Raging' Santa angers parents with beard-ripping tantrum

 

 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/dec/12/raging-cornish-santa-angers-parents-with-beard-ripping-tantrum?

 

Edit: possibly nsfw!

Edited December 13, 2018 by jmak

[jthompson]

In terms of the data that Father Christmas holds being accurate and up to date, I'd say that he's compliant. After making his list, he checks it. Twice.

[Sonic007]

In the event of catastrophy (His sleigh breaks down, the reindeer call in sick, etc) I hope adequate backup procedures are in place.

[jthompson]

He does represent something of a monopoly in the seasonal gift delivery sector. I think we can expect Santa to be hauled up in front of the US senate or a Paliamentary select committee before too long, and asked to explain himself. It's only right that we ensure that he isn't abusing his dominance.

[Oddbod]

His sleigh has been approved by the FAA the CAA and international treaties and he always files a flight plan, after all every year, he even has NORAD tracking his movements and issuing notams to pilots within his flight space…

And supersonic flight in a sleigh? I'd reckon he's a very accomplished pilot… as for Rudolph, the red nose is all down to the high friction air passing his pointy end at supersonic speed… (he must have been made a ceramic nose cap by the Elf n Safety commission)

[crc-ict]

But is there even a Santa Claus at all?

 

Consider the following:

 

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

 

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

 

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

 

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

 

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

 

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

 

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

 

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

 

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

 

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

 

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

 

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

 

From https://www.physlink.com/Fun/IsThereSanta.cfm

[DJ-1701]

Didn't you know? Human laws, including the laws of nature do not apply to Father Christmas, you see in every law there is an exclusion section for jolly old Saint Nick... this section is usually called the Santa Clause...

[korifugi]

This is of course not counting that he may be using some form of T.A.R.D.I.S (Tack And ReinDeer Including Sleigh) technology...

[jthompson]

This is all assuming that Father Christmas doesn't have a time travelling sleigh. If he did, he could take things a little easier. It would allow him to deliver lots of presents simultaneously. I don't think we should rule that out.