mattx Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 (edited) Few people know about it, but there is a kind of rehab centre for nerds in northern Califiornia. Desperate dweebs are referred there and undergo a strict regime of resocialisation. There are no computers, no access to role-playing, and patients are stripped of all figurines at reception. The group therapy sessions are infamous for their brutal truth-telling. Therapist: So - Kevin, Marcus and Reginald - how are you feeling? Kevin: Can I be called Dreamlord Agthanax? Therapist: No. We've talked about that. You are Kevin. Reg: Who am I? Therapist: This is not a role play, Reg. You are yourself. Reg: What are my powers? Therapist: You have no powers. You are simply yourself. Reg: Garthrex. Therapist: [sighs] No. Reginald. Garthrex does not exist. NOW - the subject of today's session is girls. Marcus: Can I go to the toilet? Therapist: No. Nurse says if you masturbate anymore your anaemia will kill you. You have to get used to the idea of girls. Reg: Like Princess Arimea. I've had her. Therapist: Real girls, Reg. Not virtual ones. I have arranged for some real girls to visit us today so that you can interact. Kevin: 'Ooh, Nursey - I like it firm and fruity!' Therapist: Ah, Blackadder again. Try to avoid saying things like that when the girls arrive, Kevin, or they'll think you're a total knob. Marcus: I need to go to the toilet! Therapist: Take your hand out of your pockets and the feeling will go away. Ah - here are the girls now... [Enter three hot girls wearing tight tops and mini-skirts] Therapist: Now, boys. Just chat to the girls in a normal way. Marcus: [to girl 1] Do you prefer Episode 4 or the Phantom Menace? Girl 1: Sorry - do you speak English? Marcus: Star Wars! Which is your favourite? Girl 1: I like William Shatner. He was hot in it. [Marcus keels over with an aneurism and dies] Kevin: [to girl 2] I made an animated homepage for my Warhammer site with Java Script! Girl 2: Is that a computer thing? Kevin: Yes! I've got an Apple Airbook with 15,000 tetrabytes of RAM. Girl 2: How about your cock? Is it girthy? [Kevin's eyes pop out of his head and he's he's rushed to the infirmary] Reg: [to girl 3] Can I touch your boobs? Girl 3: If you buy me a WKD. Therapist: Finally! A breakthrough. Edited March 12, 2008 by ZeroHour
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