stephenleak Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I turn up to change printer cartridge. Lady: "Do you want me to put it in for you?" Me: "That's very kind, but we hardly know each other." 2
Ex-MGSTech Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Responding quickly to a service call: Lady: Ooh your quick Me: No, its just a romour.... Working under the front office girls desk: Me: Is it ok for me to work under this Adjacent desk whilst your sitting opposite? Girl: Yes, you may grovel at my feet anytime you like! 1
somabc Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 (edited) Can't find Printer - It's over there! EDIT: In Fact Eddie Izzard put it best- I've never seen one character in a film on a computer, in a realistic way going... "Oh, no, no! "Put the printer there. The computer. Right. "Instructions. Hold on. Book of Revelations. "Right. Control and P. Print! "Control, P, print. "Control, P, print. "'Cannot access printer'? "It's here! "I can access printer. "Why the **** can't you? I've plugged you in. "***** control, P, print. Control, P, print. "Control, P, print. Control, P, print." The computer's going, "What are you trying to do?" "I'm trying to print! Control, P, print!" "But there's something you haven't done." "What? Tell me what it is. I'll do it." "No, I can't tell you." "****** tell me! It's five in the morning! It's only a paragraph! "I'm just trying to print the ******! I used the fax/modem and that ***** it up. "I can't access it. It's not being used by something else. "I'm using the printer port. Control, P, print. Control, P, print. "Print, control, P. Print, control, P. (Mutters) "'A problem of type has occurred.' "What the ***** is that? "What are the other problems I've just missed to get to that one? "Control, P, print. Control, P, print. Control... "Oh, don't do that. "Don't... Don't you crash on me, you ******!" "God. I'm so tired. You have no..." "I don't know what..." "You do! "Right. I'll get that going. Escape. Control, P. Alt. "Escape. Control, P. Alt. *******...! "I'm phoning Amsterdam, you ******. "Hello, Amsterdam? You speak very good English. Well done. "Bordered by four countries? Yes, I know. Problems in land wars. "Now, I've got a Macintosh computer plugged into a Canon printer and... "Yes, I've been into the printer file and chosen Canon printer. "Yes, I've chosen the printer port, which is the same as the fax/modem port, "which confuses the ***** out of me. "Yes, I've chosen A paper instead of toilet paper. "I've chosen the picture of the dog standing up, not the one lying down "as if a taxidermist's had a go at it. "What the **** ...? It's five in the morning. There's something wrong with... "There's an on switch on the printer? Is there?" And there's always one ***** thing you haven't done. If the world ends through technology it'll happen through that. Edited November 25, 2009 by ChrisH
sparkeh Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Office lady: "Mark how do you get to the start of The Internet?" Me: "I'll brew some coffee, this conversation may take a while"
somabc Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 A tachyon walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The tachyon replies "You did tomorrow."
sparkeh Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 LA representative on phone: "With you ISA server setup we can't see into your network" Me: "That's why we did it"
Hightower Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Can't find Printer - It's over there! EDIT: In Fact Eddie Izzard put it best- Think you missed a swear word out! Big F Word in your Eddie Izzard quote!
ChrisH Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Think you missed a swear word out! Big F Word in your Eddie Izzard quote! Fixed.
somabc Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Think you missed a swear word out! Big F Word in your Eddie Izzard quote! Sorry.
powdarrmonkey Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 somabc: do you have an audio of that?
somabc Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Video - [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C_HjWr3Nk]YouTube- Eddie Izzard's Encore on Computers[/ame]
ZeroHour Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 LA representative on phone: "With you ISA server setup we can't see into your network" Me: "That's why we did it" LOL
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