[joke] The Technologically Challenged

[Inbir316]

Just in case you think YOU are TC (technologically challenged), there's

still hope:

 

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press

Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key

is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse

was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to

be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining

that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old

(5-1/4") diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat

failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer

had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter

to type the labels.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective

diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along

with photocopies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy

back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to

hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and going

across the room to close the door.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer

to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician

discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it

in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no

longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and

water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys

and washing them individually.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged

because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The

tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"

responses shouldn't be taken personally.

9. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.

He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find

printer." The user had even tried turning the computer screen to

face the printer - but his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

10.An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get

her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was

plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed

the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot

pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the

mouse!

11.Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her

brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,

plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to

happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch,

she asked "What power switch?"

12.True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my

warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.

Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show?

How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark

on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a

promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he

couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been

using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and

snapped it off the drive.

13.Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang

for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to

put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk, but I

squeezed it in. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't

even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"

meant to remove Disk 1 first.

[elsiegee40]

A day in the life of... seems school IT techs aren't the only ones suffering from idiot users!

[flashsnaps]

Yeah seen this before - still very true though!

[laserblazer]

Years ago we supplied industrial control systems and we had some diagnostics that would write a report to a 5.25" floopy disk. We talked this guy through creating the disk and asked him to send it to us. It duly arrived with a comp. slip stapled to it.

[CHR1S]

My god, how old are they? Couldnt you find any new takes on these ancient urban myths

[Domino]

I once worked phone support for freeserve.

 

my two faves are the guy who rang saying the disk he got hadn't installed anything - he hadn't put it in the drive.

 

and an old dear once rang me to cancel her milk for a week.

 

...I still don't understand why

[KWestos]

Believe it or not, about 8 years ago. I rolled out a thin client to a lady at the council where I worked. I had a call about an hour later to tell me she needed a bigger desk as she had run out of room. It turned out that she did not realsie she could pick up the mouse and replace it to enable her to click the cross in the corner to close the application down - that I would say was the best one I have had!

[JOrdan01070]

That cup holder one brought back memorys from when i worked at PC World and overheard the sales guy tell the customer that the cdrom drive doubled up as a cup holder. The same sales guy was telling a customer that the PC they were looking at came with a biometric scanner for added security, it wasn't it was just a irda device.

[JJonas]

13.Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang

for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to

put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk, but I

squeezed it in. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't

even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"

meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

I once had an engineer come back with a 5.25" drive with a 3.5" disk in it!

[Inbir316]

i know they're old gbut it gave me a giggle